Hi, I'm new.

[ABCD98]

Hi, I'm 30, and new to the forum.

I experience generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and over the 3 years what seems to be waves of panic attacks and anxiety-induced psychosis.

I find myself posting here as the last week or so I've just felt a little low and after finding a link to this site on the NHS website then reading some of your stories, felt I'd share my own.

That's the summary really. If you want to finish off there, Hi! and nice to meet you, if you want to read on, the rest is details.

Since the first wave of anxiety-induced psychosis where I was admitted to a psychiatric ward for a week, I put a lot of work in with the NHS, hired a psychologist trained in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), learned to reach out and accept help from my family when needed, and built out coping methods for dealing with the waves.

I've had 2 waves of equal or stronger intensity that were successfully managed without admission and I continue to work with the NHS and my psychologist to give myself the best opportunity to manage future waves and perhaps to eventually resolve them if possible.

As for social anxiety, I've struggled with it for many years. My best guess is it comes from getting bullied and teased as a teenager quite a bit in school however I had a great group of friends I cared about a lot. I didn't feel comfortable admitting how the teasing and bullying were affecting me at the time and instead tried to not think about it and enjoy the other times with my friends. Around the similar time at 14 was where I'd go out drinking with friends in the streets, I'd often act up and get intensely emotional (crying, running off, rambling, generally just getting easily upset by anything), I'd wake up extremely embarrassed about my behavior and apologizing the next day about it, but not really knowing how to resolve it appropriately at the time. This went on until I was 21, at which point I felt my friends were now distancing from me, I didn't like the feeling of contacting people that I wasn't sure even wanted to hang out with me anymore, so I decided I would stop contacting them and if they wanted to contact me they could. None of them did, which hurt a lot, but I moved on to university and spent time working on my hobby, which I eventually turned into a successful career.

Since then I've met lots of new people, but I'm quite easily embarrassed and generally feel a bit in my head or awkward in social situations. I find it exceedingly difficult to reach out to others to just hang out for the day, or go for a coffee 1-1, there's still just enough resistance to find an excuse not to.

I also find it difficult to really open up emotionally the same way I did in the past and make and maintain genuine connections. It's a part I really want to work on because I love the people I have in my life and often find that difficult to communicate.

So those are some of the things I'd like to work on. I hope to occasionally read and write here as part of that process.

[Agora1]

Hi ABCD98 and Welcome.We're happy to have you here with us. We care xx

[Dell12345]

Hi, welcome, thanks for sharing, it's not always easy to do. Your experience of anxiety is similar to mine. It's horrible. It sounds like you've done all the right things and have done really well with coping.

Do you take any medication?

All the best

[ABCD98 in reply to Dell12345]

I take 5mg of olanzapine daily and was prescribed beta-blockers last month to take on an as needed basis, have so far not needed to use them as breathing exercises and self care work were effective.

It's likely now the olanzapine is not needed, but I'm taking it until an appointment with the psychiatrist in January.

[kenster1]

hi welcome aboard.

[Hidden]

Welcome, I hope the words of our Members will help over the coming months. Please feel free to post regularly even if it is just to get those feelings out. Good luck and best wishes from a fellow anxiety sufferer.

[Dell12345]

Thanks for responding, I hope you're feeling ok.That's interesting, often an SSRI or SNRI is prescribed longer term, rather than a benzodiazapine. It might be worth asking your doc about these as they can really help.

CBT can also be very helpful.

Keep us posted x

[ABCD98 in reply to Dell12345]

Thanks, I plan to take as little medication for the shortest time possible. So I'd only be looking to take long-term medication if the outcomes were severe (After Psychosis, I took Olanzapine for a year before the psychiatrist and I were in agreement on stopping it) or after exhausting coping mechanisms, self-care, lifestyle, and mentality changes.

Actually, I'm now in a bit of an odd situation. I was originally diagnosed with psychosis, but it seems they are now exploring the option of anxiety-induced psychosis instead, which would not need treatment with Olanzapine. On a quirk of how things played out, I'm on Olanzapine until speaking to the psychiatrist in January.

The Olanzapine was prescribed 2.5 years ago after my admission to the ward with Psychosis. Last month, I had another wave (As severe but with new coping mechanisms, better handled) where I had an interview with Mental Health Assessment Service (MCAS) during the peak phase. They felt I was experiencing panic attacks and I was sent back home. Since they were not psychiatrists they could not prescribe anything. On the ride back with my family, it was suggested I take the Olanzapine (left over from the previous wave) until making an appointment with the doctor, to which there was unanimous agreement. A few days later I saw the doctor, he reviewed my notes and expected it was panic attacks. He said he could give me some drugs to treat that, however, I'd need to see a psychiatrist for a specialist opinion and about the Olanzapine. Since I was already on it now he felt I should take it until my appointment with the psychiatrist in January.

[Dell12345 in reply to ABCD98]

Ah that makes sense, my apologies I though onlanzapine was a benzodiazapine but it's not, it's an anti physcotic.It's sounds like you have done incredibly well handling things. It's definitely a good idea to keep taking it until you see the psychiatrist, I'm sure they will be able to offer advice on what to do next, and how to taper down and come off it if you want to. Don't be afraid to take medication as it can be extremely helpful, but I completely understand if you'd rather not.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Do you have any plans for the holidays?

[ABCD98 in reply to Dell12345]

Yes, my girlfriend and I will be going to see my family for Christmas, and you?

[Dell12345 in reply to ABCD98]

Ah glad the hear it . Much the same actually, we will be going to see both our families for half a day each.

[ABCD98]

Update on the original post.

It was helpful to write that post out a few days ago, after, I reminded myself to focus on self-care. I made my schedule, got good sleep, exercised, and made my appointments. I've felt significantly better since doing these.