I suffer with GAD and probably depression. I did take anti-depressants about 8 years (didn’t find this helped) and had some CBT which was useful but I find my anxieties change. It used to be that I would cause an accident somehow. More recently it has been social judgement, confidence and decision making.
I know too that I have very low self-esteem; I did have a long term friendship with a guy from college that, in hindsight, wasn’t very healthy and may have contributed (also my mother is like this). I worry so much of what people think of me, my children, their clothes, my wife…. I hate to think that I may have said something inappropriate and may have upset someone. I worry about relationships at work and how I am perceived.
Work is also a problem; I take it so seriously and can’t switch off from it needing to talk about it evenings and weekends. I suppose this is anxiety and lack of confidence but this is normal life to me and something I need to do.
My problem is this; suddenly it feels like I have broken my wife because of my constant need for reassurance and support - and part of me doesn’t see or understand that this is a problem but I do trust my wife; she is fair, supportive and strong. I know I ask her a lot (a lot!) of questions but I don’t realise how much until she actually brakes which is roughly every couple of years.
As I seem to have very recently broken her, I do want to improve. But how can I help myself?