im so scared

Im so scared i havegot an app with a psychologist friday thru the nhs after having 3 assessments with the mental health team and waiting 9 months .Im scared to go as i now have really bad attacks and have got a fear of cars as ive had a few attacks and i would have to go in car to get there as its 5 miles away.Im scared of what il feel like when im there and im worrying about the what ifs and if she will be able to help me.Feel like im going to be like this forever i barely go out only to local shop and back.Just want my life back ive been like this now since sept last year and feel like ive got worse cant even go docs have to have telephone consultations of which meds dont help.Any body got some good advice for me please?im at my wits end

claire uk x

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  • First of all, Claire, well done for getting help and having the 3 assessments. Presumably you managed to go to those, even though you felt frightened? I can sense the panic in your post and I do feel for you, but I am sure you will do it. I think you need to accept that you will feel scared, but ok, it won't stop you going. Fear isn't going to kill you, horrible though it is (and we all here know how painful and awful it can be). You will feel the fear, yes, but tell yourself that it's OK, the fear will pass, as all things, and all feelings, must. You might have built this up in your mind and be expecting this is a make or break thing, but try and tell youself that ok, you will go, meet her and see what happens. The psychologist knows you are scared, and she knows what a huge effort it will be to go for your appointment and there is no shame in admitting that. It's OK to feel scared, right? Pretend that you have a small frightened child telling you what you've told us here. What would you say to her and how would you act? I'd bet you would give her a cuddle, stroke her head, tell her it's ok, that you are there for her and you know she is scared but she CAN do it and you will be there for her every step of the way and hold her hand. Now pretend that child is a part of you....you can even give yourself a hug, stroke your shoulders with both hands, tell yourself that you will be fine, that being scared doesn't mean you won't get there. It's a way my own psychologist told me to treat myself (ie, with compassion) - we all have an inner child and mine was and is hurting, and yours is frightened and needs you to comfort and reassure her.

    Is going by car the only way you can get there? Would bus be easier? Or a cab? If not, tell yourself, ok, I'm nervous, I'm scared but I WILL DO IT ANYWAY. This WON'T beat me! (even if you don't believe it, just say it out loud!)

    When you are on the journey you can 'cheerlead' youself. Say, 'Well done, you've got your coat/jacket on/ car keys out/you're on your way and you're doing really really well, not far to go now....you're doing brilliantly.....' and when you get there, pat yourself on the back for getting there and smile at yourself proudly. Dividing the day up into stages or steps might be a good way of dealing with it.

    Keep in your mind that this appointment is only the beginning and try not to judge it. Keep an open mind; tell your scared child that 'what ifs' won't help. Just go along, let the psychologist guide you and see what happens from there. She is there for you; all you have to do is turn up, and talk about how you feel. The rest is up to her!

    Good luck - and keep us all posted. xxxx

  • Hello thankyou for ur reassuring words hadnt thought of looking at it like that what would i tell a child if the show was on the other foot.Your absolutely right just have to t put it into practice.I will have to go by car my dad is going to give me a lift.Im just worrying about the dizzyness i have more than anything as everything spins around which makes it hard.I guess i have to tell myself it will pass its just anxiety and a adrenaline rush.Thankyou for your help and support il keep u all posted.

    claire xxx

  • GOOD LUCK for friday i guess hedgecrone has said it all good advice we will all be thinking of you nice to hear from hedgecrone x

  • hi clairs good luck for friday. im sure youll find the psycholigist will help & reassure you & give you some good coping stratergies. on the way there to help calm yourself, tap the hollow of your chest, i find this helps me hope it helps you.x

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