as a sufferer of anxiety and panic attacks since 1997 I have found it to be a long and hard battle. sometimes I gain ground but the ground I gain is always taken back and then some !
recently I have found myself weary of the battle with just a hint of a wish to fall asleep one night and not wake up. please do not misunderstand me, I am not here for sympathy more here for one final push or charge if you will. there were many factors I believe which started me on the slippy slope of anxiety but only one trigger, in 1997 I was in a bad place in my life of my own doing but coping with no real fear or anxiety. I approached my GP for advise regarding relaxing and getting better sleep, he looked over his glasses, wrote a prescription and told me to take one of these once a day an hour before bed.......I ended up in A&E after the first tablet with a reaction to it, the medication was paroxetine or seroxat as people over the pond may know it as. since then I have been a captive of the same symptoms felt that night, it has reduced my "safe zone" to around 5 miles, somedays less and recently an increasing self doubt, second guessing, increased checking behaviour and dificulty in letting go of certain things.
I have not taken any medication since then as I have now a real fear of any adverse effects or possible altered state of mind. I have tried hypnotherapy which initially helped but as time has gone on it seems now not to, I have also been on 2 lots of CBT via the NHS but they were only an hour for 6 weeks each time and I felt not very supportive or intense.
I need help, I think that's why I'm here.....I'm getting really scared that I am running out of alternatives and that I will reason or conclude that I am better "not waking up". don't get me wrong, I have a healthy sometimes morbid fear of death but it can't be worse than trying to live with this day in day out.
I apologies if I have upset anyone or caused a downer, it was not my intention.
be healthy people.