will i ever get better??????

Hi ive joined to see if theres anyone else out there that may be where i am. Im currently 31 ,no job and dont have anything really that i look forward to. ive suffered with anxiety and depression for 8-9 years quite serverly. It lost me my job , my relationships with alot of my friends and also had to move back in with parents as i feel as though i cannot look after myself. i struggle each and every day and over the last 2-3 years sometimes am bed ridden i feel so ill. Ive tried anti depressents consilling ( which was extremely hard to get ) just nothing seems to click so to speak. i feel as though my life is just floating away from me as ten years ago i was someone completely different. i was wondering if anyone else has expereinced this and maybe seen the light at the end of the tunnel. I am currently recieveing more counsilling in the hope to jump start me back into life, but even making appts and gettting there is extremley difficult. i just want to make my mum and dad proud of me and be able to fight back against this persisitant feeling of neediness and self loathing. any advice would be gratefully appreciated as i feel like my life has already ended and the way i feel will only get worse.

3 Replies

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  • Hi Georgey. I've recently been feeling exactly the same as you describe and have done for around a year. It's very difficult as you feel you have no control of your emotions. I find I feel envious and bitter towards people who seem to be happy because I feel I'm in a negative bubble. My personality seems to have dissolved, and to make it worse, when I upset people because of my moods I feel guilty which makes me worse.

    I took a stand against it recently though and thought I'm not going to be like that anymore. I've made a huge effort with my family and partner, and started reading a great book called 'The Happiness Project' by Gretchen Rubin which I really reccommend! It opens your eyes to how simple, small changes can have huge effects on your personality and view on life.

    I'm currently unhappy with my job situation as well and am looking at going to university. It's hard because it's not something I'm really keen to do, but I can't sit and moan to everybody about how hard done by I am at work if I'm not willing to do anything about it. I've found that about myself. I moan and moan and think the world is falling on top of me, and I actually take no steps to make it better, so I'm pushing myself to now :)

    x

  • thanks for your reply mandy, i feel so isolated and alone sometimes and find it so hard to find inner strenght to fight back against the waves of panic. i just want to crawl into a ball and hide away from the world. the happiness project is something i will get my hands on!!!as for the moaning im exactly the same i call mine magic wand syndrome i just wish someone could wave one and make me back to the person i was a long time ago. i used to act which due to finacial problems i had to stop. this was probably the one thing that gave me real feelings of happiness. i make excuses when people say to try get back into doing something like that as im so scared of failing. maybe i need to do what yourself have done and make an active stand against it. its hard to describe to people and friends that have always known a bubbly friendly guy the feelings i get and how much my own personality has changed into someone who feels he cannot cope on his own. i guess ive lost faith in myself. cheers for the reply its really appreciated to know others have these same problems.

  • Hi Georgie,

    It easy to loose strength when we have anxiety and much easier to curl up in bed and don t face the world outside.but does it make us feel better about ourselves??no.it s always worth to try and push ourselves a little bit.this will make you a little bit stronger.at least we tried,we made an effort.i m battling with this nearly every day.going out and try to face my fear,sometimes is rewarding sometimes is a disaster.i had panick attack for 12 years now on and off.till last year when I had a breakdown for working far too hard.since them I became agorophobic as well.not good but now I changed my medications and I m doing cbt,I definitely feel more positive at least!it s hard work but I m trying and trying cause I want to get better and stop moaning about myself and get out oft little world that I created around myself.maybe I will never get back to the easy going person that I was 12 years ago but I want to improve and come out of my little cocoon!best wishes

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