Oh dear here we go: A friend of 84 years of... - Anxiety Support

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Oh dear here we go

Bramwell profile image
5 Replies

A friend of 84 years of age has just been diagnosed with bowel cancer.

It's set off my health anxiety good and proper.

Instead of being concerned for him I'm worrying about me.

A very selfish way to think, but I'm off on one now! I feel guilty that I care more about myself than I do a friend with a real illness.

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Bramwell profile image
Bramwell
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5 Replies

Hi dont beat yourself up about it when you have health anxiety that's what happens your not being horrible its just what happens Im the same when i hear thing like that Im struggling today with my heath anxiety its hard i hate it every twinge feeling is something serious and its hard the more you think about them the worse it gets x

I recently visited a friend who is fighting cancer, she has 2 young children and is exactly my age, she was a school friend and I hadn't seen her for 25 years, when I was there all I could think about was how fast I could get out of there, I felt ashamed about my feelings, my health anxiety is not so bad anymore than it used to be, but all I thought about was if I had the cancer I would not be able to cope and I secretly felt a bit annoyed with her because she didn't have any smear tests for 10 years and then developed cervical cancer. Missing a medical test would be a total no no for me. In the last 2 years I've had more medical tests than hot dinners...and they all came back NEGATIVE....and all I could think about was how much that annoyed me...even recently I had a smear test and it came back negative and I was disappointed...almost like I feel that the anxiety will go away if I actually have some horrible disease...what a screwy way of thinking...I also feel guilty sometimes because my obsessive thoughts tend to get in the way of thinking about my children, I never worry about my children's health...ever...that is so strange..I just presume they will be ok....

hedgecrone profile image
hedgecrone

FIrst, it's good that you don't worry unduly about your children's health. That is likely to be pretty healthy for them. I can understand your feelings about your friend, though. I realise that I must have health anxiety, amongst other things - I have slight gynae symptoms that worried me and so I went to my GP in panic and even though she is referring me urgently because she knows how much I worry, it's still taking far too long to get an appointment! That came on top of gastro-intestinal symptoms and I convinced myself it MUST be oesophogal cancer, so have another urgent referral appointment coming up next Friday. I don't cope well with anxiety. Partly it's because my mother died of cancer aged 66 - much too young - so any related symptoms terrify me.

I have a daughter born with serious health problems and disability so it's been a long hard slog for someone with anxiety issues already . She is now 28 and doing well, so I am less worried BUT she and her partner want a family so I am now anxious that her chances of passing her rare syndrome on to her child. There always seems to be something to worry about and I am the Anxiety Queen - rarely feel relaxed or happy because there is always something at the back of my mind or stopping me feeling totally OK. I feel very inadequate and stupid, when there are so many suffering people out there with serious problems and I know I should be grateful for the good things in my life and enjoy them while I have them! Not that easy though if you have any anxiety condition!

Robyn profile image
Robyn

It was only when I read Bramwell's post and the comments that I realised there were others out there with the same problems as me. I always think of OCD as my main difficulty and I suppose it is in many ways but really the underlying problem is health anxiety - cancer phobia. Can anyone else relate to this please?

princess01 profile image
princess01

I definitely suffer from health anxiety; it has got a lot, lot worse since having children. I think this is mainly because I feel the responsibity of being a parent and just aware that they need me so much. Terrfied I guess that something awful will happen and I won't be around for them if that makes sense? Internet surfing and the media has certainly been a huge contributing factor in my case. Am having counselling which is really helping. Hope this reply is useful? x

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