Well yesterday I took a major step for me in my confidence, anxiety and general lifestyle...I attended a yoga class...
I know that sounds pretty simple but I guess I suffer with low self esteem. I walk into those places and see everyone looking well, healthy and happy and feel paranoid, like everyone is looking at me and thinking I don't belong there. But I went with a friend and bit the bullet...
So yeah, yoga is hard!! I read that yoga was all about releasing your mind of negative energy, becoming one with your body through breath etc...lord it hurt! It made me realise how unhealthy I actually am but I could feel the difference it was making to my body instantly.
Ridiculously yesterday was the first time I was feeling the effects of anxiety again. During the tougher poses my chest started to hurt because I was obviously putting my body through its paces. I had an initial panic but soon calmed myself down. Then when I got home my heart started racing a bit and fluttering. I'd obviously put my body through something it wasn't used to so I was starting to develop aches and pains I hadn't experienced in a long time. I went to bed with the flutters but I managed to get to sleep and this morning I am fine.
I just have to keep on pushing through it. I think I am over the worst and it will pop up when I least expect it to but now I know I can fight the symptoms off.