I have just joined the site today after experiencing what I believe to be anxiety.
Two weeks ago I was sat at my desk at work when I developed a small twinge of pain in the left of my chest; my chest tightened, my heart started to beat frantically, I couldn't breath and the room started to spin. Realising I was at work I tried to act normal and walked into the lobby where I had such intense stomach cramps and then the biggest wave of heat travelling from my feet to my head. I thought 'that's it, my heart is going to stop, i'm going to die'. I was making my way to the bathroom when I decided to avoid it just incase I did pass out somebody would find me. My partner came to pick me up from work and this lasted around 15 minutes until I started to be able to breathe again, then I started violently shaking which I put down to shock. It was completely out of the blue. For about 3 days my heart was constantly pounding, I had butterflies in my stomach, I was wretching to be sick. But I thought I better get back to work...
I ended up leaving early as I felt so horrific, like I couldn't breathe quite right. Then at 12:30am it started again. I was sitting in bed and I felt the wave of heat, my heart rate sped up to 128bpm (my partner had to attempt to take my pulse!) I couldn't breath and had to pace the floor. This lasted again around 15 minutes. I was shaking uncontrollably in bed until I finally decided to go to A&E. I was hooked up for an ECG and everything came back normal. That night I slept with my hand on my chest so I could feel my heart beating.
I visited the doctors and was told it was a problem with the electrical signal in my heart causing an irregular heart beat and was put on Beta-blockers. My heart rate dropped to 53bpm and I couldn't get out of bed without wheezing, so I stopped taking the tablets and slowly started to feel better. I still believe this is anxiety rather than an issue with my heart as the ECG was clear.
Initially I was scared of going outside. I didn't want to be left alone (god love my dog for lying with me during the day!!) When my partner left for work my Mam would come and visit. I felt a mess. I didn't want to get out of bed. I felt like this for around 4 days until I realised I couldn't stay like this. giving myself some breathing space from work, the symptoms slowly started dissapearing.
After everything dying down I spoke to the doctor to say I felt better and I am now back at work. However I'm starting to experience the flutters again and last night I was overwhelmed with panic although nowhere near to the attacks I previously had. I've developed the attitude of 'OK then so if you're going to happen, do it! I know what to expect' (however I have to say when the symptoms do come on I'm praying for it to stop!) I think this is such a hard thing to understand and to not be in control of your own body is so scary. I'm still not confident to get my hair done or go out in public places in case it happens and I can't get out of the situation, but I am trying to get stronger slowly. My way of thinking is 'I've not actually died from this, it is a horrible feeling but I know that it will go away, I always come out of it'. I believe it is something that can be conquered. Yes it's a horrible, scary thing to happen but when you feel that inner peace and calm for even half an hour, the mental fight is worth the effort.