When others talk about you, what do you want them to say?

[Darryl]

How do you want your friends, family, and others to talk about you, vis a vie anxiety ? When others talk about you, what do you want them to say?

[Jameshuh]

Not to ask 'why' are they acting like this just be open, honest, supportive and if possible practical. Understand what anxiety is and discuss in a way that is informed and not ignorant. Anxiety disorder could be explained to people as: try to remember when you felt most afraid, now imagine that feeling didn't go away. Would you be able function? Could you handle complex problems or even make yourself a sandwich? Probably not, so you would hope people don't gossip about how you are acting and how it is weird, understand it takes a lot of effort for people with anxiety disorder to function until they are well again, so don't gossip, speak in an informed way and make them a sandwich.

[Agora1]

Hi Darryl, it's taken me 3 days in thinking how I would answer this question.

My answer would be that I don't think I'm worthy in having people talking about

me. I'm not anymore special than others in my career. I chose to be someone

that I was born to be. I am the one blessed to have gotten to do what I love.

I never allowed Anxiety to take that privilege away from me. I now live a quiet life

content with the choices I made. Thank you Darryl for your mindful post. Agora1 xx

[Darryl Partner in reply to Agora1]

Thanks for your thoughtful reply.

[1111eleveneleven]

Mine just use 'mental illness' which has always left me feeling extremely worthless. I've never really heard a positive comment about myself as a person in 40 years which has been very difficult to deal with. My Dad was a heavy drinker and doesn't do emotions other than anger. I've tried to connect with him with questions such as "How are you doing today?", and genuine "How are YOU?" or... "Are You OK?" and in return the most emotion I get is either "I'm fine" or I get told about the mistakes I always make.

I don't expect anything else as it is just how I was raised but it's EXCEPTIONALLY difficult.

Everyone in my own family (which is very dysfunctional) talks about mental health and anxiety in a negative way. Even boundaries have never worked as I was always told 'I'm being ridiculous' if I ever brought up how I felt about a situation.

Even when I tried to take my own life no one from my immediate family after asked 'How are you' or gave me any encouragement. So as sad as it is I have had to give myself encouragement for the small wins each day.

Life at 40 as a single male who doesn't see their kid is really tough. Every day is a battle to stay alive.

World is a strange place I really miss deep meaningful connections with people, and although I have tried romantically a couple of times I feel like I am too far gone to be able to have that with someone again.

I can't change how others view me, and I think none of us can to a certain point as we live in a strange network of micro-connections and experiences and obviously it's impossible for someone to be positive and happy all of the time... and also for people to even understand people at times as if you are like me I am guessing many times you haven't spoken your mind about what you feel?

[FlamingoSiren]

I just want them to recognize when I’m doing things because of the anxiety. I want them to tell me. For some reason it helps me feel heard and accountable.