What do I say if I don't want to go anywhere?

[Millyr]

One of my friends always asks me to go places and I'm running out of excuses..she usually invites me to go with her and a few people I don't know and I'm afraid of going. I don't want to go anywhere with people I hardly know:/

[coll]

You need to explain to her how it makes you feel,as a friend she should try to understand or get her to introduce you to them in a place that you feel at ease in first I find its a bout the comfort zone

[Hidden]

Saying "NO I don't want to "is quite often very hard.But if you really do not want to do it then just say" NO thank you".It will make you feel better and as long as it is said in a nice way then the other person will understand and not bother you again.

If.however you really want to go but are unsure of people you do not know then what Coll says is good advice

[nena]

If you really want an excuse, I find "I have no money" one that you can use again and again. I have a friend that asks me out a lot, but I don't want to go out with her because she thinks we are in competition, wants me to tell her how amazing she is, and I really don't need that when I am feeling down. The last time I told her that I didn't have much money and was trying to save up, so was not going to go out for the rest of the month. She didn't contact me all month.

Its a real shame because I do really want to go out. I just don't want to be her pin cushion all night. Having said that - I find the best nights are the ones where you don't know many people, because you have refreshingly new conversations. You meet people you ordinarily wouldn't, and at the end of the night you can give yourself a pat on the back for being brave and being out of your comfort zone. What doesn't break you makes you stronger, right?

[Cookster99 in reply to nena]

i agree with everything here. the best nights out ive had have been spontanious and i dont know anyone and the best bit is, they dont know me. its so true, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. my mum told me that and she was never wrong lol xxx

[Hidden]

I'm afraid you might lose your friend if you keep turning them down. Is it possible for just you and your friend to go out? If not then why not try it with those you don't know? You will get to know them and might find a new friend. No one can ever have too many friends.

Bev x

[Hidden]

I also think if she is a good friend , it would be best to tell her how you feel

I have a very good friend , she knows just how I am & we have now been friends for 20 years

I think one thing that has helped is my honesty with her , she never gets offended because she knows

She has said before she was glad I told her , other wise she might have thought something was wrongI

Hope you are able to sit down with her & talk , will take the pressure of you as well as your friend been able to understand you more

Love

whywhy

xxx

[copdber]

I agree with whywhy. I have a very good friend I was in the same situation as you are I came up with all sorts of excuses. Then when I got better and was able to talk about how this awful illness affected me I told her about trying to come up with believe excuses to avoid going out with her. Her first reaction was relief she thought I had stopped enjoying her company and that there was something wrong with her.

[MerlinMartin]

Hi Millyr

I have a similar freind who always invites or has all kinds of things planned etc, which is very nice of them, but most of the time I just decline, though I would always feel bad because I always felt like I was being a bore or letting them down in some way.

ideally is to have a freind that understands the situation etc, but another thing I learned was to make it clear to them that I was totally grateful and appreciate the invite etc, but that it wasn't them personally that I was turning down, it was just the request because I was feeling a little out of sorts.. other times when it's happened, I just had to make stuff up :S...