My Anxiety Story, 3 Years Deep.. Still Struggling.

[CaptainAnxiety]

Hello, 34 y/o male here, I was put on Prozac 2.5 years ago for depression, 2 weeks after, I had a health scare that sent me to the ER which turned out to be a panic attack. I have been through 8 different anxiety medications over time, none really brought me back to my prior self. Currently on nothing but struggling really hard, i have Ativan that i can take but i really hate being reliant on something. I'm currently getting medically discharged because of my anxiety after 16 years in the military. I'm in a place of not knowing how i'm even gonna mange to hold a job with my unpredictable anxiety. I truly feel like i'm the only one who is suffering like this. I feel crazy when i have to explain to people how i feel because I'm never really anxious about things, i will just either feel irrationally dizzy, i'll have difficulty breathing, a body part will feel off or I'll feel like life isnt real. Which in turn puts me into a state of anxiety and panic because i will then begin to focus on it. This can either look like silently suffering trying to push through it or has me held up in my bed unable to go anywhere. Its to the point i dont like going places or doing thing because of the unpredictability. Now i do have my occassional week or so where i will feel like my normal self and i just pray, this is it, i've gotten through. Then not long after it all comes back, either gradually or head on. I've also tried every trick in the book, diet change, meditation, breathing exercise's (makes it worse), grounding exercise's, therapy etc and still find no relief. I constantly tell myself there has to be something more to this, it can't just be anxiety. I'm getting now to the point that i feel there is no getting my old life back. I feel i've been stripped of it and nothing will work. I've recently been looking into finding a anxiety support group (if that's even a thing) just so i can be with people who genuinlly understand and who can relate. I don't know what i'm hoping to get out of this, i just wanted to feel like i wasn't alone in this world.

Much love, Cheers.

[Formula1fan]

First of all thank you for your service.

You are not the only one with these symptons from anxiety and I think you would be shocked how common this really is. Even though you have tried several things in the past you just have not found what works for you. I posted for the first time less than a week ago and have received nothing but support and advice from people that have had similar experiences. You will hear from people and what has worked for them that may be your solution or lead to it. I had paralyzing anxiety for years along with panic attacks but I did not open up to anyone about my feelings until I let my fear and anxiety completely spin out of control...because I could not think straight it led to a really bad situation and I realized my life was not sustainable, I knew I needed help. I started by talking to a professional and once I started talking I felt a little better. After I told my friends and family what I had been living through everyone just wanted the best for me. It was actually comforting to my family because they sensed I was bothered with something but were waiting for me to reveal the issue.

Once I revealed my secret I felt much better and describe that weight all over my body start to lift and doing nothing else felt as if I was being freed but have continued getting help. I thought a couple of things...why did I suffer in silence for so long...embarrassment and shame and feeling like a burden. If I could go back years I would talk about my issues because I was not living, I was suffering and it was needless, all of what I thought was in my head, nobody else has thought those things about me. I will continue with professional help for the fear and anxiety and other issues to make sure I continue to get better and learn tools to deal with these things in life. I do not and will not ever return to that type of suffering and way of life.

I know the sun will rise for you eventually. If you continue to search for answers you will find them and things will get better for you. Please feel free to contact me because I have been there. There are so many great people here way smarter than me that will their help as well.

[Vaidaz]

You are not alone. Im also 34yo male. Struggling with depression and anxiety for most of my life. I had heart surgery, I have underactive thyroid. My anxiety and panic attacks are triggered by my health. For example some strange pain or something heart related etc etc... I used to have pabic attacks daily, used to feel out of my body experiences, used to be very afraid for my health. Im doing better now. Relationship, reading anxiety related books and learning about it, running helped me to overcome it (could not maintain any relationship I had though). I still have panic attacks, but quite rare. I am taking medicine for my thyroid, blood pressure drugs as my BP is bit too high, and beta blocker to keep my heart rate lower and not race too much during some anxiety episode. Was able to stop using it when I had a relationship, probably was a good distraction and kept my anxiety away, but had to start taking it again after breaking up... But Im way way better now than I used to be.

Don't think it's gonna be bad forever. You just need a distraction. Try running, as it requires concentration and is a good distraction, it helped me best I think. Read anxiety books to learn and understand it.

[CaptainAnxiety in reply to Vaidaz]

Sorry to hear about your relationship but glad to hear your doing better! I love running as well. It can be a mental game after a mile or so and I have to tell myself I’m fine body wise and nothing bads gonna happen. Thanks a lot for sharing! Oddly satisfying knowing I’m not crazy thinking it’s just me.

[robin0507]

I too wish to find and be part of a support group for anxiety/depression. I don’t think I’ll be able to hold a decent job anymore. I am tired of this roller coaster and now I feel like it’s been two weeks of 3 low days and 1 good day and repeat all over again.

Can you tell me more about your experience trying different medications or a particular diet? I tried one recently and had to understand this diet was not helping my mental health. Im currently on Effexor and I’ve been dizzy, nauseous at times, terrible headache and some chestpain/ acid reflux

Meditation helps me but not always and journaling always helps me even though some days I am totally blocked. It is through my writing that I start to see how these 15+ yrs with anxiety might be making me into a better person and there’s truly not going back to my old tranquil, happy and authentic self.

[CaptainAnxiety in reply to robin0507]

Robin, I feel you on the roller coaster 😓. I just got off of 5 days straight of anxiety. Today is day 2 of feeling normal and it’s been so nice. I will say I just started taking L-theanine and Magnesium 4 days ago and ironically.. feeling better. I highly highly suggest checking out @trainwithjk on TikTok. He’s a wealth of knockledge on which brand supplements to take and so much more. I saw a holistic doctor who helped with my gut health and she had me take kava and California poppy. The kava I would take during the day and the poppy a bit before bed. I did see decent results from that. The key to any of this stuff though is 100% quality! You need to do your research to make sure the product your taking is what it says it is. The diet did help, I just fell off the wagon and haven’t gotten back on, which I need too. All I did was cut out all sugar unless it was fruit and also kept my carb intake to less than 75g a day. The gut is so crucial with mental health. A healthy gut can help regulate mood and reduce anxiety by balancing gut bacteria, which produce neurotransmitters like serotonin that influence mental well-being. Is it easy..simple answer no. But anything worth doing, is worth doing well. If your anything like me with anxiety I’m just about ready to try anything to get rid of it. I need to get back on that train. As far as medications go, and all my research combined with my own trial and error I’ve come to the conclusion you won’t know what works well for you until your try it. I’ve been prescribed all the normal mainstream anxiety meds which clearly helps so many but didn’t for me. Like you said I’d get worse chest pains, brain and body zaps, worsening dizziness, brainfog etc. the one I did find that worked for a while was Effexor. The only side effect I got was sexual related but was worth putting up with cause it helped my anxiety. “Also not a doctor, this is all the stuff that did or didn’t help me.” My religion has helped me as well. Even with as bad as things have been, I truly believe this is all apart of my journey. Sometimes I don’t understand what I’m supposed to get out all of this but I just have faith in God and I just trust the process. I really believe he is just trying to prepare me for what he has in store for me next. If you manage to find an online support group, let me now! If not we’ll just all have to start our own!

[robin0507 in reply to CaptainAnxiety]

That’s a great idea .. we gotta start somewhere. 🤣

Speaking of beginnings, I do believe that whenever life gets tough it is God helping me build a new path towards my goals and dreams. It is all for a reason and I must not get tired. We get to start fresh everyday. I am at the beginning of day 2 of feeling pleasant yet I am going to see it as the beginning of day one of infinite possibilities and positive outcomes.

hey keep up the great work. I do appreciate you so much! Thanks for sharing your experiences. It is through it that we learn. I gotta pay attention to what my gut is saying… I will look into it with more detail when the time comes. It is great to know we are not alone on this.

[robin0507 in reply to CaptainAnxiety]

Hi captain, I noticed recently I have been feeling down, insane acid reflux and my body is bloated. Something tells me I need to start with a cleanse so Wish me luck.

I am going to start cutting off sugar starting today 😢 and no gluten as well. Next week I may cut off milk and cheese. Thanks again for your advice and I will look for holistic doctors around me so I can have a better plan for the long run.

[tykesammy]

Hi no there are many of us around sadly, it is a real misery. I have had it all my life. The best advice I can give to you is find a support group, and never feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk about it. But it will help to chat to other people that are suffering with this godawful thing. Take care.