Anxiety triggers

[Junkjournal1]

Hi there first of all my thoughts are with all you people out there that suffer from anxiety. Mine started in secondary school well from puberty really. I’m female and now in my early fifties. Since this time I have been on and off antidepressants mostly on in the last decade as also suffer with depression. I was bullied at secondary school I had severe acne and I was nicknamed crater face. They made me feel like a freak so much so that I use to use a thick make up spot stick as a mask by lunchtime it would be melting with having oily skin. I lived close enough to school so used to go home at lunchtime so that I could wash my face and reapply the thick concealer. I knew this wasn’t helping my acne but I couldn’t face anyone without my mask. Here I am many years later married with amazing grownup children. To this day I still really struggle with many triggers that seem to feed my anxiety mainly social situations especially when it’s people that I don’t really know. I feel that I’m being judged and really stared at which brings on panic anxiety. Sweating shaking fight or flight so to speak. I’m now also suffering with terrible symptoms from being peri menopause. Hormones have got a lot to answer for. Well obviously there’s more to me than what I’ve just waffled about. Has anyone else had similar experiences take care all 🙏.

[SCC1]

Hi. You have described what I, myself, had gone through in school- bullying which led to social anxiety.

I will write more later, because I have to go out for a while.

Just wanted to let you know, now, that I totally understand you.

[Junkjournal1 in reply to SCC1]

Oh wow thank you so much for responding and I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to go through this too. It’s shocking how so much later on in life it still affects me/us. Look forward to hearing back from you. Thank you again 🤗🙏.

[SCC1 in reply to Junkjournal1]

Hi again. I'm sorry for my late reply.

I understand how you feel with social anxiety. I was bullied, too, especially in high school. I had always felt that I wasn't accepted and that I was different than others all through my childhood, especially in school (K-12).

I felt like I was odd and that everyone hated me for some reason. I felt like I was lower than people, at that time, fellow students. Every year, there was something that happened in school, not necessarily really bad, but just something that people did to me that made me feel bad.

I had just figured everyone hated me, but I hadn't known why. I had felt different in my mind, but I think that I felt that way because of how I had been treated (I just realized that as I'm writing this.) Maybe it wasn't me, maybe people were just assholes. Maybe I really was okay, but others had made me feel so bad that I turned it onto myself and carried it through til I graduated high school. And it still affects me.

I had always felt judged, too, like people were staring at me. But, I didn't know why everyone was doing that.

I had felt sooo low and just plain bad. I never knew I was being bullied though. I didn't put that name to it. I just thought it was me, but still didn't understand why everyone was so mean to/mad at me.

So, go to now, and all the meanness from other kids followed me, and now I can't even go on my porch without hoping people just walk by and not say anything to me. When cars go by, I can't look at the people in them. When I see young kids (teens to 30- yr olds especially), I still don't want to be near them.

Parking lots are a big deal for me, because I feel everyone can see me and is staring at me. Walking into a store is uncomfortable, too, because as I walk in, I KNOW people are staring at me. It's not just my perception. I notice people don't stare at other people. They just walk by them and don't pay attention to them. But, to me, I really believe and see that they ARE looking at me longer.

I am sorry you had to go through what you did in school. No one deserves that! I know how bad it feels to live this way. It's something, that it follows us all our lives. Because being judged and looked down on had such an impact on us.

I'm also going through menopause. I don't know that it has to do with my social/other anxiety now, because I've felt bad most of my life.

I hope I/we can find our way again, out from the shadow that confines us.

xx

[Junkjournal1 in reply to SCC1]

Hi thank you for taking the time to reply. Your description at the end of your post is so true “The shadow that confines us”. It’s good to share experiences and to know that we’re not alone in our struggles ( not that I’d wish these feelings on anyone). I think this sort of anxiety infects/ affects the nicer, kinder people in general who tend more to actually give a shit about things maybe to a fault sometimes. I think if more people were aware and understood how it’s really not our fault for being this way it may lighten the load. Caring and understanding goes a long way but unfortunately in todays society not all but many people are so absorbed in themselves they can’t seem to see what’s going on around them or even want to ( generally speaking). Just a very simple example waiting to cross a road only one person in 20 sometimes actually stops to let you cross. Sorry I’m rambling now take the best care of yourself as you can my thoughts are with you and all fellow sufferers 🥹🙏❤️

[Blademink]

Yes I was bullied by kids and by teacher as well primary and secondary school your not on your own I've always felt like I don't belong stay safe and well ❤️❤️❤️

[Hidden]

Hi I'm sorry your going through this I hope you can go on HRT I'm on low dose patches the specialist said they help anxiety and all the other arful things, as for your acne scars I saw a TV show where they did some Lazer treatment I'm not sure exactly on this my niece has some damage but it's not that bad hope you feel better soon and can get the hormone replacement therapy 🤗🌹I was bullied for having big ears I've been bullied most my life one reason or another at work boyfriends even nebours it's arful even on Hu the only way is report them and stand up to them

[begentle51]

You are not alone. I am the same

I was bullied in middle school, but continued to allow it to happen so I could remain in my friendship group. Looking back it really affected me and even now I struggle to move in from it

I now think that everyone is judging me, for the way I look, the way I talk and act. I just feel very judged about everything

My anxiety comes in waves and I think it’s when I try to suppress my feelings and it mounts up, not sure though. I find it very hard to get on top of, when I’m feeling low.

Please know you’re not alone, if only we could invent something that just removed these feeling

[Junkjournal1 in reply to begentle51]

Thank you for your reply it means a lot to me and I’m so sorry you had to go through this too. But yeah it would be a life changer if we could remove these feelings 🙏🤗❤️. Thinking of you and thank you once again.

[designguy]

Sorry to read about what you have been going through and the awful bullying that happened to you in the past. I too was bullied in school and developed social anxiety and still have some affects of it yet today. What has helped me was working with a trauma c-ptsd therapist that used emdr as part of the therapy and processing all the pain and shame of it and learning that none of it was my fault and learning to validate myself. I'm currently working with him to learn to feel safe in my body, I realized I never felt safe even in my home environment, i also grew up in an emotionally abusive household which contributed to it. There is also a lot of good info on youtube worth checking out. I hope you are able to get the help you need, I now have more good days than bad days, I hope the same can happen for you too.