Looking for treatment

hi , ive been suffering with social anxiety disorder for about 14 years (im 31) but ive never tried any treatment or medication , does anyone know anywhere in cumbria i can start getting help? I dont want medication just need to find a group or person i can go see for help, thanks.

[Jeff1943]

The person who can help you, the person you are looking for, is yourself.

There are self-help books for people experiencing anxiety disorder that have enabled millions of people throughout the world to regain their quiet mind.

Such books provide understanding, reassurance and a road plan for recovery. But they require the reader to practice what they have learnt over a period of time. There are no instant cures, no magic wands to wave away your high anxiety.

In my experience the best of these self help books is "Self help for your nerves", also published under the title "Hope and help for your nerves" by Doctor Claire Weekes who has been called 'the woman who cracked the anxiety code'.

She wrote her first book many years ago and many of the more recent self-help books are based on her method.

Her book is easy to read, she does not use complex medical terms. You will quickly recognise yourself in its pages. It explains how all our symptoms are perpetuated by dealing with them the wrong way. For instance, the natural instinct is to fight our anxiety. But fighting causes more strain and stress when our nervous system needs less. We add second fear to the flash of first fear; though fear is what feeds our over sensitise nerves.

Her remedy is based on Acceptance for the time being: learn to live with your anxiety and you'll be able to live without it.

You can pick up a copy of her short book on Amazon or Ebay: choosing a pre-owned copy not only saves money it helps to combat climate change by conserving trees!

Whatever you decide I hope that you recover before too long and that by taking control of your recovery you regain your quiet mind once again.

[Dell12345 in reply to Jeff1943]

I agree with your advice mostly, self help can work to a point, but it dose imply that all people need to do is work harder at fixing themselves, which isn't true, and can unhelpfully add to feelings of guilt. I don't think this is helpful. Most people need help from others, doctors, therapists, friends, family. This is widely understood by the medical profession.

Apologies if this is not what you were implying, I just wanted to highlight it for other readers.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Dell12345]

"By thinking outside the box, and exercising extraordinary clinical sensitivity, the brilliant physician Claire Weekes created a treatment protocol to the benefit of tens of millions of patients over the years."

- Doctor David Barlow, Professor Emeritus of Psychology and Psychiatry at Boston Univerity.

You are of course entitled to your opinion but untold millions would disagree that Claire Weekes' self-help method is untrue, unhelpful and leads to guilt.

[Dell12345 in reply to Jeff1943]

I wasn't disagreeing with Clare Weeks' work, just the implication that all anyone needs is self help.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Dell12345]

Weekes wrote her self-help books on the basis of that's all you need to recover. Engaging with other Weekes fans on the internet is a helpful optional extra. But if it's your choice to do-it-yourself that's no obstacle to recovery.

Friends and family are often no help, they don't understand what anxiety disorder is like, "pull yourself together!" is often the extent of their helpfulness.

Doctors will respond with a blank stare, they cannot be expected to be familiar with Weekes' method. Though you should always consult your GP first to make sure your symptoms are anxiety based and not organic.

Therapists can be helpful if you can afford one, otherwise you can wait up to 6 months or more for an NHS referral (in the U.K.).

Most people I've encountered in the past 50 years who have recovered using Weekes' method did it just on their own.

This is just my view but I'm biased, I see her as a saint, St Claire in fact😇. She gave me back my life.

[Hidden in reply to Jeff1943]

i will check it out thanks

[Dell12345]

Hi Jaime,

I don't know the Cumbria area well but you could look up counseling online. Cognitive Behavioural al Therapy (CBT) is often quite helpful. The will likely be several councilors/therapists able to help in face to face, telephone, or online sessions. The NHS provides online courses in many areas too.

There are also apps that use the same methods: Thrive, My Possible Self, and Headspace are supposed to be very good. I've used Thrive and found it helpful, you can get free access through the NHS if you google it.

All the best, x

[Hidden in reply to Dell12345]

no probs 👍

[designguy]

I recovered from social anxiety and recommend trying to find a therapist near you that specializes in treating it. They will typically include group and exposure therapy into the therapy as well as teaching you new skills and understanding about it. If there isn't one near you there are some online programs available. I would have preferred to work with a therapist in person but there wasn't one near me so i used the onine program from the socialanxietyinstitute.org and found it helpful. SA stems from learning and believing things about yourself that aren't true because it distorts your awareness of how other people perceive you. It's also common that people with SA have low-self-worth and low-self-esteem and there is a lot of good information available on youtube about how to change that about yourself. I used the Break Free program by Dr. Bernadette Sewell. the other thing that is helpful is determining why and how you developed SA to aid in your recovery. In my case, I was raised in an emotionally repressive, physically and emotionally abusive household and bullied in school. So even though I had made big gains in overcoming my SA I was still having anxiety and issues. I realized I also had c-ptsd/trauma from the bullying and childhood abuse so I found a therapist who specialized in treating c-ptsd/trauma and worked with him using emdr therapy. I went for years thinking people didn't like me and was astounded when I started to realize how wrong my perceptions were about myself and others and that people really did like and enjoy me. I hope the same happens for you. It takes courage and commitment but it is possible to recover and live a fulfilling life.

[Hidden in reply to designguy]

thank you for your reply , i do think i would do better seeing someone in person tbh just purely for the human interaction, i am looking into finding a therapist to work with in my area hopefully i will get a good one. One last thing , if i do this say once or twice a week with a therapist maybe even 3 times a week on the odd occation how long would you say it will be bfore i start to see positive results? I know everyone is different and you carnt really say but ive heard some ppl say they can recover within a few months and some ppl say it could take years of at all , thanks.

[designguy in reply to Hidden]

It's up to you as to how fast you recover and how committed you are to doing the healing. Be aware that your anxiety will more than likely increase at first as you do exposure therapy and learn new skills and understanding because it's misguided role has been to supposedly keep you safe but it's part of the recovery process. Learning everything about SA on your own and determining why you think you have it will also accelerate your healing. There is a lot of info on youtube about SA and healing from it. Also understand that a good therapist can only provide you with the skills and understanding to heal but you have to do the work to change your beliefs and actions. Feel free to ask me any other questions you may have.

[Hidden in reply to designguy]

no probs , i know it will be tough and probably unbearable at times but can not be worse than staying like this for ever i need to do it. Ive booked a fone consultation with someone from near me , a physcolgist but im not entirely sure she's going to be the right person? but only time will tell , i will let you know how i get on , if i decide to see her in person etc , thanks.

[designguy in reply to Hidden]

YOu're welcome hope it works well for you. don't be afraid to fire the therapist and find a new one if you don't feel like it's a good fit for you and she's not helpful. I went through numerous therapists.

[designguy in reply to Hidden]

One other suggestion to help you progress faster is to get the DARE Anxiety book and/or watch their videos on youtube. The fundamental basis for overcoming any kind of anxiety including social anxiety is learning to tolerate the anxious feeling and thoughts and never believe the anxious thoughts. It's a good program and resource for aiding you through it. I really liked their advanced program phone app it was like having a private coach when I needed it. The program is also helpful for when you have setbacks, which are inevitable, and need to refresh yourself on how to deal with anxiety.

[Hidden in reply to designguy]

thanks very much ive checked the DARE stuff out and it looks really good , carnt believe i havnt came across it bfore , i will have a good look through all the videos , ive already purchesed the audio book to listen to 👍

[Babe1213]

Hi Jaime, I am happy that you felt comfortable in adding your post onto this forum, however I am saddened by the responses that have in their own way detracted from your original request, especially the earlier ones, which could confuse your situation even more. I find the easiest method to be more helpful Ring 0800 652 2865, ask the call handler for advice on local self help groups - and be guided by them. Another alternative is the Samaritans in West Cumbria. I am not suggesting you have suicidal issues, far from it - but the Samaritans will have unlimited information about different groups in your area, having been a Samaritan for many years I know how they work and know also they will have information on hand. I live in Aylesbury and do not have your local dialing code, but am sure it will be easy for you to find: once found the number is 116123. Phoning one of these numbers will put you in touch with someone who will be with you immediately, without you having to take time, reading, understanding, digesting information. The reading material offered here on this forum is encouraging, and well chosen by the other responders, but the telephone will give you immediate contact, which may be more beneficial to you NOW!

[Hidden in reply to Babe1213]

thank you very much i appreciate that , i will give the number a ring in the morning 😀 , ive been intouch with a therapist from near me but im just not sure shes going to be right yet for what i need? I am going to see her once then i will make my mind up but no harm in asking around aswell its all good info thanks again.