Looking for reassurance?

[Kn515]

Trigger warning - panic attacks descriptions - So basically I was diagnosed with panic disorder 8 years ago and I’ve been medicated since, I’ve had two nervous breakdowns in the past where I was unable to function and had to get a crisis team involved as my panic was what I would describe as a non stop panic attack for two weeks straight , anyway I’ve managed quite well since all this and I started studying and gained a place at university to study mental health nursing starting in September as I wanted to help others with my experience, but now I feel as though I’m slipping back into how I was , I’m having 4 + panic attacks a day to the point I’m calling my family to tell them to get my daughter because I’m dying , I feel like I can’t breathe , I’ve worked so hard to learn to control all of this and now I feel I’m losing all control, I obsessed with my heart , I don’t know how I’m going to go to university in September as how can I learn to help people when I can’t help myself ? I’m not sleeping as fear of dying, I’m not eating because I feel constantly sick . And I’ve never ever met anyone who has panic attacks as often as I do or as intense so it makes me feel like the panic attacks are damaging my body , I guess I’m just ranting as I can’t sleep , I’m on my own and I’m probably hoping I’m not alone in

[Ryan990]

I don’t know the answers fully to a cure , but I can say that I suffer with the same symptoms . I do have good months, but they are followed by bad months. It’s so intense that I wonder how my body even copes, but it does. I Hope you you get better soon, and know you are not alone.

[Kn515 in reply to Ryan990]

thank you , it’s not nice to know someone else is suffering but it’s nice to know I’m not alone

[Moose24]

Believe me sweetheart, you are not alone. I’ve been rushed to hospital twice because my panic attacks were so severe. I didn’t leave the house for years because I couldn’t breathe. I’m convinced that hormones have a huge bearing on anxiety but doctors don’t seem interested. I’ve been suffering since 1985, during puberty and as I’m entering menopause they’ve dwindled and been replaced with deep depression and really bad anger. This virus is putting a lot of us over the edge. Often I spend all night clinging on to the edge of my mattress because I’m so afraid. I live on cigarettes and energy drinks because I can’t sleep or eat. I don’t have an answer for you I just want you to know that you’re not alone. Hopefully others can help us. Xx

[Enzo777]

My heart goes out to you. I was also diagnosed with panic disorder and G.A.D.(general anxiety disorder) several years ago.. I had thought they were basically the same thing. I understand how traumatising and dibilitating it was for me. I think you are very brave and selfless to choose the career choice that you wish to pursue. You must be very intelligent to have been accepted at a university nursing program. It took my Dr so long to find the medication that finally worked for me. I felt as if the chains that were keeping me from living a life or even leaving my house were finally removed. Dr kept prescribing antidepressants although the anxiety and panic attacks were what caused me to feel depressed. I have always been prescribed Valium to take at the first sign of a panic attack and it works wonders but takes 20 minutes to start working. I also was prescribed Buspar. It is not an SSRI, antidepressant or Benzo. It was developed as an antianxiety drug to be taken every day. It took 3 weeks to get into my body and start working. To me this was a miracle drug. It is not habit forming or sedating and had no side effects on myself. I know medicines' work differently on each person. I just wanted you to please never give up. Be it medication, therapy, prayer, meditation etc.....I believe that you will be a wonderful, caring and empathetic mental health nurse. Maybe starting your studies in September could be your "miracle drug". I think it will be fufilling and rewarding for you. I do believe that you will be such a great nurse who can truly relate to your patients. I will keep you in my prayers. You are not alone. You seem to have such a big heart who truly wants to help people who are often misunderstood or unfairly stigmatized. You will, no doubt, succeed in your profession and make a real difference in the world.

[Kn515 in reply to Enzo777]

Thank you so much , I’m sat in tears reading this (happy tears) it’s the first time in a while I’ve felt hopeful this was an amazing message to read , I hope you are well , thank you for making my day xx

[Enzo777 in reply to Kn515]

and thank you for making my day today. Im so glad that you are feeling hopeful . Please continue to keeping the faith and hope. I hope you find some kind of relief and with that, you will find peace.

[Noz29]

I just wrote my story to someone else on here. But I wanted to let you know that you're not alone in this. And that yes it is extreme. And this suffering makes you feel alone. My panic attacks are the same. I feel that I have them for days and days. I've felt detached from reality for over 2 months. I'm completely new to panic attacks. So it hit me so hard.

I'm Dutch and I joined this UK forum cause I can't seem to find relatable stories on the Dutch ones. But your story is my story. I've been having tight chest, hyperventilation, panic and feelings of chaos since the beginning of March. It suddenly arose. It's only on my right side. Chest feels so tight and I can't catch a breathe or take deep breaths. I've been living in panic attacks every since. On a daily basis. I've never had them so I'm scared something is wrong with my body. I've had several tests done, visited the ER 5 times. I got different (wrong) diagnoseses which one of em was costochondritis. But I did have a 6 week fever. So then the covid 19 diagnosis came. But no tests. I'm an asthma sufferer so I was gutted they didn't test me. I'm 35 and their explanation was they didn't have tests and I didn't belong in the risk group. Uhhh what? I have asthma. But I finally got a test in may. Too late offcourse. So it was negative.

I got an anti body test as well last week. Negative. So covid is ruled out then I guess. Which I'm still not sure about. Cause no specialist can explain the 6 week fever. But it all tends to move towards panic attacks and severe anxiety now. I hyperventilate really bad. I never did before. It's the entire day. And in the beginning I felt disconnected and in a psychosis. Like I wasn't here. That has lasted for weeks. I was walking on clouds. Heavy scary dark clouds. Hyperventilating my way trough. Being very on edge and nervous and rushed. Didn't sleep for days. I'm visiting multiple specialists. Took me months to make appointments. But they can't seem to find anything.

I'm going to be checked out for GERD I think, and a bicycle test for my heart. And then there's nothing else they can do for me. While I'm experiencing this every day. I'm highly anxious. And without a reason. And that's so typical for a panic disorder aparantly.

So I do think you might as well are suffering from panic disorder like me. (I've kind of diagnosed this myself now) In my view. We do live in very stressful times and I think this was the final straw for me. I've been stressed before covid happened. But it pushed my anxiety over the edge and I might as well developed a real panic disorder now. My mind plays tricks and I can't stop it. So scary.

Take care.