Help please

[L1974]

Hello I’m having the worst time of late, firstly Father’s Day today, my first without my Dad. On top of that my lovely dog has been poorly and it spoiled all our plans for a nice Father’s Day for my husband so he is really upset. My dog has had numerous things wrong these past months, food allergies, joint problems and today stomach pains which have come from nowhere he is not even 2. Not sure how much more I can cope with. I am driving my family mad with all the worry and feel unable to control it.

Help!

[LavenderRoot]

First let me say: I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through all of this. I can only imagine how difficult it is today without your father. In addition to that, you having to see your fur baby ill I’m sure is also hard to bear. As a fur parent of three, I can barely get a good night’s rest if something is wrong with them. Also, I know vet bills are super expensive and that definitely doesn’t make matters better.

Sometimes when I get overwhelmed, anxious and feel stressed I like to sit in a quiet area and take a few deep breaths and rub an ice cube in the palm of my hands. It sounds a bit weird, I know, but it works for me.

Also, try to remind yourself that the way you feel right now is just a moment in time that will pass. Take it one day at a time, and try to understand that some things are simply beyond your control.

You got this. 🙂

[L1974 in reply to LavenderRoot]

Hello and thank you for responding, the vet bill are a lot! And there have been a lot of them these past 10 months! I have just got so attached to him he is like another child and I want him to have a happy life. I do admit I feel completely overwhelmed, I have done counselling in the past for anxiety and also lost my mum when I was 20. Hard to move on from the sadness at times, I just want to have a more positive attitude as I bring people down.

[LavenderRoot in reply to L1974]

The grief you’re experiencing I’m sure is draining to you. I would suggest to continue reaching out to a professional counselor/therapist to discuss your grief in that regard.

As for your fur baby, he is your child; they’re like family! Try researching a veterinarian in your area that is willing to work with you and possibly let you make payment arrangements.

Lastly, try not to look at it as you’re “bringing people down.” You have every right to feel the way you do, and if those around you are unable to support you, then it may be time to set some boundaries, seek help elsewhere (like you’re doing now in this forum) and take it one day at a time. Everyone is not going to understand how you feel and that’s okay! But you understanding that it’s okay NOT to be okay is the self-compassion that will steer you where you need to go.

I hope this helps. ❤️

[zonindallas]

i would suggest you take action. take your dog to a vet. see a good grief counselor if dealing with your fathers lost becomes overwhelming,

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Just keep trying to put one foot in front of the other. Grief is a bitch. I lost my daughter 17 months ago and yesterday was rough for my husband. He was her step father but was a better father for her for 40 years than her real dad.

And when our pets get sick it’s terrible. Fear of another loss pops into my head and I worry.

Know that you’re not alone. And keep posting.

[AlexFlorida]

Good morning L1974. I know exactly how you feel! You’re not alone! I’m very close to having a nervous breakdown! Very close

[LavenderRoot in reply to AlexFlorida]

I broke down the other day and it was horrible. It’s like, when life happens to us it’s always at the worst time! I cried for what seemed like hours and couldn’t pinpoint exactly what I was crying about. I realized I was having a depressive episode, and later on I felt a little bit better.

Sometimes if all you can do is cry, then do it. I gave myself permission to weep and felt so much better afterwards.

Whatever you’re going through, please just allow yourself to feel those emotions. Don’t resist them. Then when you’re done, take a few deep breaths and try thinking about, or doing something that will make you feel better. This is what helps me, and I hope this helps you too. 🙂

[Htims46]

Hi, Im very sorry you are feeling like this, its horrible. Time is what you need. I never thought I would get over the death of my father, but I did. Of course I still miss him, but I can live with the fact that he is not here now. With regard to your dog, have you had a diagnosis about his tummy problems and if so what was the conclusion and remedy? It could be food related, ie his tummy is reacting to something in his diet. Im sure yourvet is good, however if you feel you are not getting anywhere how about a vet that practice vet treatment but also homeopathic medcine for animals. I am not recommending a homeopathic vet, however it sounds as it you need a dfferent approach to your dogs problems. Just an idea, somthing for you to think about. Please make sure the homeopathic vet has the right credentials to use homeopathic treatments.