Feeling awful

[L1974]

Hello I lost my dad almost 4 weeks ago, he was 75 but it was sudden. Been doing ok-ish in coping terms but now feeling physically exhausted and keep getting palpitations and my heart rate is fast! Old anxiety is kicking in and got me in a panic, advice greatly appreciated.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Grief is difficult for people without our anxiety problems. But add the pain of loss and it triggers some panic.

My daughter died 8 months ago and I remember going through a period where I was terrified everyone I loved was going to die. I kept waiting for the second shoe to fall. And it did.

Two weeks later I received a large gash in my leg from a piece of aluminum on a door. It took four months to heal.

The positive message here is that you can get through it. I used my therapist and grief group and friends to support me. And I still am using them.

I had to walk through the grief and learn to stand still and hurt. If I didn’t face it, it would come back to bite me in the butt later on down the road.

I’m sorry for your loss. But know you’ll be okay. The anxiety will pass and you’ll survive. PM me if you’d like.

[L1974 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thanks for your message, I’m very sorry for the loss of your daughter. I lost my mam 27 years ago so sadly I know all about grief, my family and friends are really supportive. Just this last couple of days my heart is racing even when resting and feels like it’s jumping every now and again. I hate this feeling it’s sending me into a spin and now planning my call to the doctor on Monday!

[WiseFool08]

I’m so sorry for your pain. My father died suddenly 6 years ago. The chain of grief set off was so hard. No one prepares you for when you and your loved ones grieve in different ways. Time just moved differently for a long time. Take care of yourself. It does get better but you have to be gentle with yourself in the meantime. Nature seemed to help me a lot then.

Do you like to read? CS Lewish has a short book written after his wife died that was helpful for me to read/listen to. It is not a self help or psychological book- just a first person articulation of his grief. A Grief Observed.

[L1974 in reply to WiseFool08]

Hi Thanks for your message, i do like to read but rarely get the chance with a lively 8 year old! Going to my Zumba class shortly but already worried about my fast heart rate so not sure I am doing the right thing. Just trying to do something for me 🙂

[MFM008]

I lost my dad 21 years ago yesterday. It gets easier to bear but it never goes away. Im in a terrible state myself.