How to network with people when you have social anxiety?

[Chocoholic_18_x]

I have dreams of becoming a singer, and I am very hard working in making it happen, and I believe in myself a lot. But when it comes down to collaborating with people, getting to know people in the industry, I am such a nervous wreck. I will always think that everyone is better and more talented than me.

Last year, I started studying at a music college and I still haven’t made any friends and hang out in the toilets at break/lunch, sometimes I’ll even skip classes because being around so many outgoing/confident people is just too much for me sometimes. And it sucks because I really want to have a career in music, but I’m struggling to make any contacts and connections and that is one of the most important things to have, believe it or not.

But does anyone have any tips on how I can be more confident and open up more, not just to people I want to work with, but everyone really? I want to do things, such as start up a band, do shows in different places etc, but I would need some people around me to do that, so if you have any tips, that would be great. Thank you🤍

[Agora1]

Hi Chocoholic x You've actually taken the first step by believing in yourself. When you meet others in the industry, there will always be that competition. We can't all be the same.

It's not your talent that stands in your way but your social anxiety. First thing is to not spend your break/lunchtime hiding in the restroom. Most probably don't even know of you.

Out of sight, out of mind...Make yourself presentable to the people you need to meet.

What I use to do when meeting new people was "play act"...I learned this in a meeting I attended for new salesmen. You're not going to get anywhere if you are a introvert salesman. And so the meeting was about entering the room with a deep breath and

the words "Action" in your mind. After all, these people don't know who you are and

don't need to. You will make that first impression by pretending to be an outgoing person.

You introduce yourself with a smile and confidence and even if you are shaking inside,

try to hold your ground while you ask their name and any pertinent questions pertaining

to themselves. People love to talk about themselves giving you time to regroup your

feelings and take time to breathe. After you've been doing this for a while, the play acting

will begin to take over your social anxiety and you will become the person you want to be

to continue forward in your career. Practice makes perfect, plus it works. I can attest to that. xx

[designguy]

As someone who has recovered from social anxiety disorder, my suggestion is what I wish someone would have told me years ago, which is to first focus on recovering from social anxiety. Find a therapist who specializes in treating it and commit your self to recovering. If you can't find a therapist, there are online programs available. Social anxiety is learned maladaptive thinking and behavior and you need to learn why and how you developed it and new understanding and skills to recover. You might also talk to the therapist about medication if appropriate. You'll be much more prepared to go after your dreams after you have tackled your social anxiety.