New member, desperate for help :/

[woozie123]

I was diagnosed with panic and anxiety disorder in (2014) my junior year of college after having a previous life of little to no stress and no mental health issues. It was absolutely debilitating, I was bedridden and almost dropped out of school. It took me about 6 months to recover with CBT and Zoloft and then I was completely symptom free for 2-3 years and I felt like I fully beat the disorder. Unfortunately, I was off my medication for 8 months and then experienced another relapse of my disorder in 2017. I went back on my medication and back into therapy and it took me about 3-4 months to recover and feel completely back to normal. I am now having another relapse which began ~5 days ago. I'm so scared it will last months again. Each relapse consists of debilitating daily anxiety, panic attacks, fear of panic attacks and associated depression due to the fact that the anxiety has returned. Any help or stories from other people would mean the world to me

[kenster1]

welcome aboard woozie123 hopefully being on the forum provides you with helpful information that helps get you back on track.are you still on medication if you maybe you could request another dose or even another medication being on here hopefully will help as well its good to talk.

[lovetodance2018]

Welcome to this forum. Everyone here is so supportive and encouraging. We all understand the struggles with depression and anxiety. Sounds like medication seems to really help. I went through a similar story.

I had never struggled with depression, always a happy, go- getter. I used to say I was high on life. Then my first episode of depression started after my second child was born. I couldn't even get out of bed. It took me a year to find the right combination of medication and counseling. I went 5 years after that with no episodes. After 5 years I went off the medication and was able to be off of it for two years. But then it happened again, this time I went on the medication and yes it did take me a month or so to feel better.

I tried going off the medication again after about 5 years. I was doing well for a while, but after about 2 years again I began to struggle. The psychiatrist I was seeing at the time if you have more than one occurrence you should consider staying on medication for the rest of your life. Since then, I have remained on the medication and was doing wonderfully. But then chemicals in my body changed and I was becoming depressed every month for about 7 days. Turned out it was related to my menstrual. They upped my medication, but that did not stop it from happening. Once I realized and accepted it was a chemical imbalance and it is nothing I did to cause the depression, I was able to function better during those depressed episodes. I would remind myself this is temporary and I will feel better. I also would say to myself depression is a an illness but not who I am.

Before my depressed episodes, I would have unexplained anxiety, that is how I knew a depressive episode was coming on.

Through prayer, not being hard on myself, telling myself it is ok that I am struggling and I will feel better really has helped. Also having a supportive husband and friends to pray with and encourage me I will be praying for you. Know you are not alone, reach out anytime, and if you want to pm me, I am happy to chat. Hugs and God Bless

[lovetodance2018]

How are things going this week? I have been praying for you. Hugs and God Bless

[woozie123]

Things settled down a bit when I went back to work on Monday, but the second im not busy, the feelings come back. So I have to constantly meditate to keep myself at bay and talk myself off the ledge, its exhausting. I hope I get better soon

[lovetodance2018]

I am glad to hear it has been a bit better since you are back at work. I am glad you are redirecting your thoughts and doing self-talk to feel better. Just keep on reminding yourself you will feel better, you have before, and this is just temporary. I will continue to be praying for you. God bless