I wanna live bro.

[Islande_King]

This probably sounds narcisistic as hell. But 2020 was going to be my year. I had soo much plans of how I was gonna blossom and relaunch myself and then boom. Corona. So now I can't do all the amazing things I'd planned. Now, I'm terrified I have a brain tumor. I have struggled with headaches all my life, It is prevelent on my maternal side and I have had cat scan after cat scan, x ray after xray. I've always been good, just "migraines". But with this inability to do pursue my goals for the year, and 3 people I know dying in a span of two weeks. I'm a little messed up in the bead right now tbh.

I just wanna live bro.

[Hidden]

I feel you! I had so much planned for this year and I was so excited but now i’m just thinking about throwing my calendar out lol. If you’ve gotten many cat scans i’m sure you don’t have a brain tumor? They look for all of that stuff.

[Islande_King in reply to Hidden]

The last cat scan was a while ago. If things werent as they were I wouldve schedueled another one 😭

I just dont know anymore.

[Optimistic_22]

I understand this being your year. I had the same thought in mind. I’m in between school and a program so have a year break. I was excited to travel and just meet new people and be free. Life finally was going to calm down. Here’s the thing life happens and this coronavirus is awful I’m so saddened by. But it’s helped me realize I’ve known I had to fix my major anxiety and been just filling with other things. Working, school, family. Left me no time to work on me. This virus has given me time to reflect and realize with all the Distractions gone I’m still a mess. Can’t be calm, content and always something wrong in my day. So I decided traveling and meeting new people would be just pushing my problems away until I break down.

So I hope this helps maybe see that you can still relaunch the best version of yourself once this is over. Give yourself time to work on you. Therapist can help with your brain tumor fear. I think that you should maybe get checked once a year if docter feels necessary. You can’t live in fear. Therapy can help rebuild that mind set and worry it helps me. Your strong and can do this. Try a schedule in this time. Exercise, hobby, journaling how you feel reflect on past journal on good days, chores etc. I wish you all the happiness life can be beautiful if you let it take control and not try to control it. Much love. 😘 Stay safe