Funeral

[Lavendergirl222]

Hi I went to a cremation on Tuesday , with my son, as my husband was too ill,to attend. I wasn’t feeling good to start very tired it was freezing and waiting outside for the other people to leave ,when we finally got in, I sat down at the back and I had the most dreadful panic attack.i felt lifeless cold and ready to drop. Heart racing etc. My son said just relax and your be alright. I wanted to get out. Anyway I got through it. And yesterday wasn’t bad , but I have terrible exshaution today and yesterday I had to lay down this morning. My daughter rang me and was telling all about her daughters new school after she got off the phone. I felt lifeless and my legs feel like they are going to give way. My heart is racing and I have just made a camomile tea to try and calm myself. Do you think it’s the funeral done this as I was under a lot of pressure with having to speak to people , does this happen after a stressful,event.or have I gone back to square 1. Thanks

[Agora1]

By all means Lavendergirl, the answer is "yes".

Undo emotional stress the day before can and does put you into

a whirlpool of drained emotions the next day.

Take today to recover. Keep a low profile. Make this your "me day".

Meditate and breathe. Time for your body/mind to regenerate. xx

[RustyBucket36]

Hi Lavendergirl, like Agora said, that kind of stress can leave you feeling drained the next day. As for the leg weakness, I've felt like that a few days after I've had an anxiety attack. For me, when felt like that, I went for a walk and after a while I realized that I'm not going to collapse. You're not back to Square 1. Something different happened that was very stressful and now you just need to figure out how to deal situations like that. You'll figure out how to deal so you'll know what to do the next time it happens. Good luck to you.

[kenster1]

hi I chatted with you on this a couple of days ago.you built up a lot of anxiety and stress with worry beforehand that is understandable sounds a bit like the complete opposite now after the funeral almost deflated of all the emotions you had before it.try to relax as much as you can for a day or two.

[Lavendergirl222]

Thanks for thst I wish I hadn’t gone , my eyes feel heavy and I get scared of how I feel sometimes, I had to go as my son would have been on his own . Doing the perfect mother bit again. I wanted to post a Christmas card to a neighbour but I felt I would collapse do you get weak legs indoors .somerimes I have no faith in myself even though I read these Claire Weekes book all the time. Do you get exshauted during the day. I worry a lot about my husband as he is getting worse , he doesn’t go out anymore as he has terminal illness , I think it having a big effect on me. I will try and take it easy in the next few days. Do you sleep during the day.

[Funkyfaerie]

Hi Lavendergirl,

I went to my friends funeral too on Tuesday.... I was nervous, but managed to get through it.

I think you are suffering what we mentioned before, after a bad panic attack you can feel drained and battle weary for a couple of days, it really takes it out of you.

I know you probably feel frustrated and angry with yourself, but be kind to yourself, you got there that's the main thing.

I know you have a lot to cope with, so sending you some ❤️

[Lavendergirl222 in reply to Funkyfaerie]

Thanks for that funky ,sorry for your loss , glad you got through it. Still nervous of how I feel , have pain in eye socket bone under eye. I think it’s my sinus , it look puffy and dark , I don’t sleep well . Anyway today I am going to sort out the grandchildren’s Christmas presents online. I am not going out.

[Funkyfaerie]

I don't sleep well either.

Glad you're going to try and rest today, must be so hard for you with the worry of your husband too.

I've been putting cheesy Christmas music on 😊 to try and get in the mood, while wrapping my grandchildrens presents up, expensive time of year as I have eight!

I think we have to do what many people say and be kind to ourselves as we would be to others. I'm always pushing myself, but there is no harm in having a self indulgent day.

Take care Lavendergirl xx

[LaPetiteGen]

Oh love, it sounds like you have a lot going on in your world and are overwhelmed with emotions. I know it is easier said than done, but controlling what you allow your mind to think is really half the battle. Excessive worry and fretting over things that are beyond your control will only continue to leave your body in a state of exhaustion. When you find yourself in highly intense/emotional situations your body is in overdrive with adrenaline- afterwards your body will take time to recover. Take things one step at a time, when worry enters your mind- recognize it, ask yourself it you can take any positive steps to address/fix it and if not- replace that thought with something that is positive in your life. Instead- focus on what is noble, pure, right, lovely- focus on your blessings can make a difference. I pray you will find healing and peace.

[Lavendergirl222 in reply to LaPetiteGen]

Thanks for thst I was supposed to take granddaughters to see Father Christmas but didn’t sleep well and have a bad headache so my son has taken them , my husband is worrying me , and I could hear him trying to breathe a 2 o’clock this morning, and he is in pain all the time , but he refuses to go to hospital or the hospice for respite. I have tried to explain to him how this is affecting me and then I feel guilty as he says I am trying to get rid of him. So la petite I just carry on. Maybe I should lay down for a bit.tomorrow might be a better day. 🙂

[LaPetiteGen in reply to Lavendergirl222]

Oh love, don't feel guilty. Anyone in your position would feel the same way. Caring for someone deeply sick is a tremendous feat (both physically, emotionally and mentally.) If your husband won't seek care or assistance you can't make him. Maybe you need to take a weekend and get away all to yourself? Could a family member come stay with your husband? Just giving yourself space to breath, recharge without constant demands and distractions from others? Hang in there and remember everything really is just temporary- this time of worry and exhaustion will not last forever.

[Lynl]

Absolutely and it takes time to get your mind off it