Please help.

[destinymichelle]

Hello everyone. I know I’ve been making a lot of posts pretty much about the same thing, but I’m very worried. I’ve never been this worried about myself before.

Yesterday I had a really bad day. I had a really bad anxiety attack in the morning. I calmed down and the rest of my day went okay, but last night when I laid down for bed (I was very tired, I think my anxiety attack that morning had made me so tired) I was struggling to sleep because every noise that I heard was giving me a weird sensation. I don’t really know how to explain it, but it was making me feel like I would pass out or have a seizure (I’ve never actually passed out or had a seizure before) and that noise thing happens with me very often and I don’t know why. Mainly at bed time though.

If you’ve ready any of my other posts, you’d know I have been dizzy, lightheaded, feel like I can’t breathe, chest pain, nausea, etc. I also had a blood test, urine test, chest X-ray, and an ekg done in July and I had another ekg at the beginning of August. So twice in the last 3 months I’ve been told that it’s just anxiety. Although my new symptoms since then which is the sound thing and I also get random numbness. Last night my calf started hurting really bad and then my foot went numb a few minutes later and i was worried that I had a blood clot and today I’m worried that I might be on the verge of having a stroke or a heart attack at 19 years old. I know that’s pretty uncommon, but I always feel like I’m that 1% that it will happen to. My whole body is in pain. I shouldn’t feel this way at 19.

I have no health insurance and I have been looking into treatment at this free mental health clinic. I filled out paperwork about 2-3 weeks ago and I’ve been meaning to go back. I was supposed to go back today, but I couldn’t get myself to go up there, so I guess I will have to try again tomorrow...

[TheBlackdog]

Hi again destinymichelle, I think I replied to you a few days ago. I suffer from really unreal anxiety attacks and get strange sensations in my body too. I feel for you and know what you are going through. I think that you really need to get to that appointment or meeting with the mental health clinic asap. The longer you leave it the more your mind wonders with ideas, thoughts and sensations. You need to talk to someone in person face to face so they can see your symptoms and treat you appropriately. If you cant make it there then phone them and speak to someone about the reasons why. They may be able to offer you support in a different way. You may benefit from a friend, partner or family member going with you or taking you. You need to get seen asap. I'm so sorry you are feeling this way but there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel.

I was so lucky once upon a time when I was at my worst where my sister visited and made an urgent appointment for me to see a g.p. I didn't want to go either but I had to force myself. My face I thought had become so unreal and and did not look like me. I felt like a mental patient and that they might lick me up in a mental hospital for some treatment. At that point I think I nearly needed that. I had a caring and understanding husband at home who helped me although he didn't know how too. If you want to get help you have to get someone to take you there.

Please reply to let me know any news....

I'm here to try and help.

[destinymichelle in reply to TheBlackdog]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate it so much ❤️ My fiancé is going to go up to that clinic with me. I’ve already filled out the majority of my paperwork since i went about 2-3 weeks ago. The quicker that I get it done the quicker that I can get some help. I’m tired of the physical symptoms almost 24/7. It’s exhausting. You’re right though. It is very important to have people in your everyday life that support you. My fiancé really tries to support me the best that he can, but it does get overwhelming for him sometimes as well because every night I think that I have a new illness or that I’m dying and I know it’s exhausting to deal with. I’m here for you anytime love! If you need to talk I’ll be here ❤️

[destinymichelle in reply to TheBlackdog]

Also, I’m going to try and force myself to go to that clinic tomorrow, so I will message you tomorrow and keep you updated

[Elmo1977 in reply to destinymichelle]

Definitely go the clinic. Get the ball rolling. The greatest of journeys start with a single step. I to got the physical effects of anxiety and it scared me but over time I started to tell myself that it was my bodys reaction to my anxiety. You may not believe it but say it anyway even just to let the anxiety know that you are onto it and wont take its bullshit any more.

[TheBlackdog in reply to destinymichelle]

Well done, baby steps at first, it takes time to get better. Let me know what they say x

[sunandbutterfly]

Were you able to make it to the clinic? I am so glad that your fiance is helping you to get there. Know that you are not alone. My experience with anxiety has been a bit different than yours, but I have had the feeling that I was going to die more than a few times.

Have you heard of Louis Giglio? He has a talk called I Lift My Hands where he talks about his struggle with anxiety. Maybe it would be helpful for you?

[destinymichelle in reply to sunandbutterfly]

Sadly, I did not make it to the clinic. I pushed myself out of it because I was too scared to go. My fiancé said on his day off he is going to take me whether I like it or not because he sees that I need this push since I can’t push myself. Thank you for the suggestion! ❤️

[TheBlackdog in reply to destinymichelle]

Hi Destinymichelle, how are you getting on. Have you been to see anyone yet? I am here waiting for your reply wondering how you got on. Let me know as talking about it all helps. Good luck x

[destinymichelle in reply to TheBlackdog]

I went to the ER again 2 days ago because shortness of breath was bothering me. Did a urine test, blood test, EKG/ECG, and a chest X-ray. Told me it was just anxiety, but I keep having the shortness of breath even at random times and I’m so exhausted with it..

[TheBlackdog in reply to destinymichelle]

Yes sounds like anxiety. I think some meditation might help. You can do it yourself. Just go online and follow instructions. There might be a breathing meditation even. Have a look and have a go. Repeat it each day or twice a day. However often you need it. Emerse yourself into it. Best done listening on headphones in a quiet environment. See if it helps.

[destinymichelle in reply to TheBlackdog]

Thank you very much for the suggestion. I’ll look into it ❤️

[TheBlackdog in reply to destinymichelle]

You tried it yet?

[destinymichelle in reply to TheBlackdog]

Yes! It was very hard for me at first because I couldn’t push any of the thoughts away, but I feel like the more comfortable I get with it the more that it will get easier to do. ❤️

[TheBlackdog in reply to destinymichelle]

Once you actually master the technique it is really helpful also mindfulness I'd really good for you. Look this up too c

[Hidden]

Hi destinymichelle. I am so sorry you’re feeling so terrible. When you say you hear a noise, do you mean you’ll hear any random

Noise outside or something and your body gets a weird sensation? I’ve had that when I’ve been at my peak anxiety level. If this is what you’re talking about, it can be that your body is in full on overload of adrenaline and hypersensitive. I totally understand how you’re feeling. Anxiety can do some insane things to us. I just wanted to clarify if that’s what you meant by the noise and feeling you get.

[destinymichelle in reply to Hidden]

It’s mainly loud and sudden noises that do it. It hasn’t been happening all the time. It comes and goes, but it freaks me out.

[Hidden in reply to destinymichelle]

That must feel awful. I can tell you from personal experience that has happened to me when my anxiety is peaked. It’s like a rush of adrenaline you get and everything is so hyper aware. It’s easier said than done and I of course don’t know any medical history nor am I an expert. Just going off of personal experience. The advice I can give just off of personal experience is to take big deep slow breaths, maybe take a warm shower at night to calm you, maybe do some imagery. It sounds weird but it can work. Maybe just lay there and close your eyes and imagine yourself with lots of loving healing light around your body. Like blues and greens which are calming colors and that you’re wrapped up safe, comfy, and cozy. Just take slow deep breaths while you’re imagining that. It really might help calm your body and mind. I hope you get answers and I pray for your comfort.