Panic Disorder

[NikeYrk]

I’ve been in the darkness/ feeling lost like everything I was doing wasn’t helping. I’ve dealt with emotional numbness, crying almost every other nights sometimes. Staring at the wall, wondering is this really my life that been been downsized all the way to a small box, isolation which made sometimes feel like going crazy because I was always a social person out doing things. So I would have to make myself busy in the house. I used to make myself physically sick to my stomach because of my hypersensitivity. I say all that to say you have to start somewhere. I didn’t just one day stop feeling anxious when I woke up, I didn’t just stop having constant nights of tears, and feeling like I couldn’t do anything I wanted again. You have to make a conscious decision one day and say I’m SICK of this. And you will probably have a lot of those I’m SICK of this days, I know I did I would get revved up write down everything I need to do maybe do two of those things that week maybe once a week and then stop and weeks later wonder why this is still a problem and it’s because I was not being CONSISTENT. I would have all this I CAN DO energy do a little exposure here and there maybe meditate one day that week and expect this to just change overnight it it doesn’t work like. You have to do it everyday or at least every other day. Honestly I recommend not scrolling through forums all day and going down a rabbit hole, yes ofcourse they help us, but you also have a life and world outside of this. Remember forums are not therapists. Ofcourse don’t let anymore determine your success or progress in recovery because they can’t see everything you feel, but sometimes we have to think am I really doing enough? And I’m only speaking from panic disorder and maybe small form of PTSD. Sorry if this sounds harsh but I can say this because I’ve had first hand experience.