My eldest daughter and her family have asked me to go on holiday in October, they’re paying a lot of my share as it’s a big birthday for me soon, so that’s their present to me. As a lot of you can imagine and understand I’m now in a little turmoil about going. I want to yet I’m a little scared too. How do I get over this feeling? My youngest daughter and family aren’t going but I was talking to her and she was saying that she thinks it will do me good especially in October as the weather here won’t be as good, and after all these months of going through the anxiety she says a break will do me good.
Anyone been on a similar situation?
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Laniben
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35 Replies
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Hi Sam.
Yes understand your fears and worries ..I am similar when I go away too..
But
One thing I do know is I would feel more sad if I didn’t attempt to go..
I know it’s not easy but it would be fab if you get to do it, you will feel glad you did afterwards...it’s an old saying now but ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ such a lovely opportunity to make some lovely memories with family..there no doubt you will feel anxious and that’s not easy but distraction techniques and knowing you are wit( loved ones really can work!
Thank you Olivia, I have that book on kindle Feel the fear, and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers, and plenty of meditations and self help talks on my phone. Yes you’re right about distraction too. Thank you, it really does help talking on here.
Hi Jen, yes I’ll be taking whatever i might need and who knows i might not need them anyway. Just a bit of a build up now until october but need to put it to one side inbetween time
When I was at the hight of my anxiety and depression I went to London for a week. It had been booked for a while, posh hotel in Canary Wharf, chauffeur driven car, first class train etc. I live in a village in North Yorkshire and I did NOT want to go! Even at the station I did not want to go at ALL !. I was petrified to say the least, every bad situation running through my head. Anyway, I got on the train, and in the car to the hotel and stayed in London for a week. It was hard but glad I went in the end, lots of good experiences and it also changed me from not wanting to deal with it into wanting to overcome it, which I now have.
Go, don't let your mind put you in a prison. The worst that can happen is you have an anxiety attack like I did, but like mine, it will pass.
Hello, I go on holidays myself. And yes I do suffer with anxiety too. However, I push myself to do the things that are uncomfortable that make me anxious and going away certainly does that but I feel great when I do. I suffer with very bad acid reflux as a result of anxiety so the consultant says. Anyone suffer from hypersensitivity? Don’t miss out enjoy your self - I know plenty of people who go on their own, so don’t worry.
Hi, thank you. the date for paying is coming up and I’ve felt rough with stomach issue and nausea which I haven’t had for quite some time. As it’s not til October I’m going to try and put it out of my mind for a little while I think
That stomach issue and nausea must be the fear, trepidation of going Sam, I get that too, and like it today as the children are coming and I have to be responsible. I just wish it was all over and done with and I could be on my own again. Which is terrible as I love my grandchildren... The old me would be excited.
But as many people have said to you here, you must let this anxiety stop you doing things. You will regret it if you don't go, and after all you might have the odd wobbly moment, and that will be uncomfortable, but there will be lots of distraction and good times.
Yes the last time I went away I did go on my own. I made friends and had a great time but I much prefer to go away with others. I found too that it is usually quite a bit more expensive on my own.
I feel too insecure on my own and if anything happened I couldn't cope. x
Yes it definitely expensive going alone. And If it’s too much pressure explain to them how you are feeling? I’ve started doing this and it gives others insight rather than being judge (from my experience anyway). I’m quite the opposite, I love planning my travels but it can be daunting. I’m only anxious because I suffer with really bad acid reflux and the food is what troubles me. I started yoga and drinking camomile tea and that really helps with calming down - I feel really sense of relaxation (and I’m stress head!)
Have the they made you feel uncomfortable on any past trips? My daughter and son-in-law Always makes me and my other daughters uncomfortable. They offer things like their house for parties then critique or complain BIG TIME 😖. We're suppose to go on vacation the end of the year to Florida for my 65 birthday. I'm paying for myself. My boyfriend reminded me how they've been treating us. So I'm going to make a excuse that I can afford to go.
I get it, that can be a problem? I pretend to friends and family that everything is Fine. Are you in counseling? If Not look into it and get Medication that will help you handle your anxiety. When is the trip? Maybe you can have time to get help,?
Yes....I can relate to how ur feeling, my husband desperately needs a holiday after successfully completed cancer treatment, but I can’t bring myself to say I will go away on holiday as I’m scared my anxiety will kick in big time & being away from familiar surroundings I will not be able to cope. I so envy people that can go away & get excited about holidays.
Ohhhh I feel for you , I get anxious as soon as a holiday is booked . But I always make myself go and always end up enjoying it after the first few days have passed . Try and go and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it . Mandy
I have taken many global trips in order to escape my anxiety. It’s amazing how distracting traveling can be especially when it’s all mapped out for you. Sounds like all YOU have to do is follow and enjoy!
Hi. Oh bless you ,you sound exactly like me .you dont say how you are traveling .are you flying ?.I have suffered panic attacks for ever so I feel for you.i do go on holidays abroad and in the UK, I hate to fly so we try to stay in the UK as much as poss.i still get very anxious before we go but while I'm away I cope .its definitely the build up for me and I'm 100% it's the same for you ...please go ,u will be fine .I always take my calming meds with me every where I go and often I dont even need them it's just knowing that their their really does help.
Thank you so much, yes we’re flying but that doesnt bother me as long as I’m in a window seat 😊 but i think like you said it’s the build up and i haven’t had a holiday in a while, but I didn’t have anxiety then and of course the unfamiliarity of it all. But I’m going to do my best
I am just back from my 5 days in Italy with my daughter which was both amazing and very stressful but only on the outward journey. I would not have missed it for the world however.
Before I became ill with GAD two years ago I loved and looked forward to all holidays and by and large I have managed to get almost fully back to that.
This one was unusual in that although I was thrilled to be going and had been looking forward to it we had some worries a few days before and so by the time I was due to go I did not want to.
I went on my own with my daughter and we both were worried about our partners. Mine had just received a letter to go into hospital for an appointment on a Sunday following some tests to do with his bladder and kidneys which were relatively routine. But the fact that it was an extra clinic on a Sunday made me think it was something serious. It was bad timing as it fell in the middle of our holiday. I kept my fears from him and he was adamant he was not worried and we should go.
He told us by email as soon as he got the all clear while we were away so that was a massive relief and we could really enjoy our holiday big time after that.
On the day we set off I felt very miserable and nervous, not like me at all. However by the time we arrived at our destination and I saw how beautiful it was and what a stunning hotel room we had overlooking a magical harbour with sparkling blue sea I was really happy and excited and on a real high, I also then realised it was very unlikely to be anything serious he had been given an appointment for.
My husband got the all clear a couple of days later and we could really ralax. Her husband had flu but coped on his own and took the week off work.
I feel sure you will enjoy it once you go Sam.
You have to think about how low you will feel coping alone with having felt you have missed out if you do not go. It will be a major challenge to go but the worse that will happen is that you feel sick etc but that will quickly pass with all the excitement and distraction. You will also benefit hugely by having taken on the challenge and it could be a major step forward in your recovery. It certainly was for me when I went to see relatives in Spain in the October having become ill in the June in 2017.
How are you on flying in general? I took a diazepam for my first flight after I became ill.
I also think that with your antidepressants still kicking in you will be alot better by October anyway.
I’m ok with flying, always loved it. I did however say I want to sit by a window even though there’s only sky to see, but it’s a space that I can look out at 😊
I’m glad you enjoyed your holiday in the end and things were all ok back home. You’ll have to put a photo up
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