......from Paroxetine. This last week has been the worst of my life, and I don't know how i'm still here. It happened on day 5 of being on Paroxetine. It was diagnosed in A & E and my muscles were so rigid from it that I had to have 30mg diazepam for 3 days and a liquid taper off the Paroxetine over 3 days.
To make matters worse, my psych. was on holiday at this time (which couldn't of course be helped) and I had minimal advice from our joke of a CMHT. They couldn't even organise a script for the liquid Paroxetine for my taper which was requested by the A & E doctor for the following day - my amazing GP had to do it at 5.45pm that day as the CMHT totally screwed up and didn't phone me and sent an email to the wrong surgery (so they now claim) for the drug. Without my GP, I would have had to take the full dose in tablet form again the following day as the pills couldn't be split (and possibly ended up in A & E again).
I have to see my psych. tomorrow at 1pm and i'm dreading it as I have to go alone and my anxiety is raging like never before, with intrusive thoughts and sheer panic. I no longer feel safe, and I don't think he believes how absolutely hideous this has all become.
The mental health system in the UK is broken - and A & E is bogged down with people just like me, and worse. They do their best at A & E.....
I feel as we are just left to rot as there are so few services available now and we are 'not unwell enough' to access crisis care - that is reserved only for those with psychotic breaks from schizophrenia, relapses in bipolar or those suffering illicit drug psychosis. There used to be 'care' for those with MDD, CPTSD, GAD, severe panic disorder etc. Now we are just supposed to live with it, so it seems. Or not live with it, as the case may be.....
I'm getting to the point where I've had enough and i'm tired of being patient, politely asking for help and spending multiple visits in A & E and being ashamed of being there like a total waste of space because I KNOW A & E here should be for sick people who need urgent help, not a dumping ground for people who have had enough of their mental torture and have no where else to turn because they are on the precipice of taking their own lives...
Sorry if this reads like a pity party - but i'm sure a few of you who have had to deal with the 'mental health system' in the UK can relate.
My hope for my future is now growing very dim indeed......