Hi! I'm 18 and new here and for my whole life...I have been terrified to take pills. Every time I try I have had the feeling like my throat was tight (which ends up hurting) and I couldn't breathe. I would end up spitting the pill out and start having bad anxiety and end up crying because I felt pathetic for not being able to do it. Then my mom would yell at me for being a baby which then I get even more anxiety. I'm scared my health is in danger. The fall of 2016, my junior year, I noticed my throat was tight at a football game (because I'm in marching band), I thought it was normal for me since this happens when I'm anxious. And I was hungry so I went to get some food and when a came back to the band bleachers....I noticed I couldn't swallow my chili that I bought...I started to panic and so I tired drinking my Powerade and I couldn't swallow my Powerade either. After that, I ran into the restroom...and I began having an anxiety attack...I was terrified. I came back and my friends noticed something was wrong...but I never told anyone besides them until it started lasting for weeks. I was unable to eat food without gagging. So my diet was all liquid food....I ended up by the end of November losing 20 pounds and I was depressed and very weak. I always felt like passing out during band practice. I went to urgent care and they said it was GERD. Which it wasn't. But then I went to ENT and they said there was no physical problem, that it was probably just stress or anxiety. After that visit...I continued to try to eat even though my throat was tight....I ended up getting back to eating, sorta normally. I avoid some foods that I have trouble swallowing. I lost a friend because of this incident. But it is crazy how anxiety can ruin your life. Also because I was on a liquid diet....I did have a fear of constipation (I have always had trouble with it and a lot of bad experiences with it), I ended up drinking laxatives. I did use laxatives after being on a liquid diet before this whole thing happened because I got my wisdom teeth taken out and for two weeks was on a soft food diet so didn't have many stools. Sorry this is gross. Now that I recovered mostly from the dysphagia I had...afterwards I discovered, not too long, that I had another problem.
That I wasn't having my regular bowel movements. I was constantly having cramps and bloating. I have been struggling for a year with this. Sure when I was a kid it was bad and constant. Now, I think I might have IBS-C. Why am I telling you this? Because I have to go to a doctor soon and they will either say it's anxiety or prescribe pills that I can't take. I try my best to avoid the doctor and taking pills. I hate even the thought. I'm willing to get help for my anxiety and depression but I'll be given pills for my mental health and for my condition with IBS-C. I can't stand having another anxiety attack happen because I'm so scared of choking or feeling tight throat and throwing up. I seriously am done and feel like I have no control any more and these laxatives are taking a toll on my health. Causing me to feel dizziness and nausea sometimes. Is there anyone else who has this kind of anxiety? Please tell me, I'm not alone.