Good Day everyone
I joined this forum to share my most recent troubles with a long history of different anxieties. I have been a hypochondriac since I was a young child, and have had issues with it on and off for what seems like my entire life. Although that sounds pretty bad, I've actually learned how to manage it over the years, so I wouldn't say that it completely controls my life. But from time to time, I get stuck on a certain thing and it's hard to let it go.
Most recently, I've been struggling with being hyper aware of my own existence. To some that might sound strange so I will try my best to explain exactly what I mean. I have experienced derealization / depersonalization for many years as a result to my anxiety, and I'm very familiar with what it feels like. But recently I had a horrifying feeling wash over me pretty much out of nowhere. I guess the best way to explain it would be that I just became overly aware that I am a living, breathing thing, floating somewhere in outer space, and that life as we know it is a complete unexplainable mystery. I've lived on this planet for nearly 30 years and have fond memories of people, places and things around me, but now I feel like an alien or something lol. The fact that I see through my own eyes, hear with my ears, breathe, move my limbs, and everything else, kind of has just been weirding me out. Deep down I know that this is just another symptom of my anxiety, and the best way to deal with it is to give it space and accept it for what it is, and let go of the fear that I associate with it. But it's hard sometimes.
So I guess I was just writing to see if anybody else has experienced these feelings. I'd be happy to know that I'm not alone on this strange spinning ball somewhere in the middle of infinity. Thanks for your time.