Life is becoming harder and harder the more I become hyper aware.
To make it short I've lately had so much triggers recently which has caused my hyper awareness to increase and thus causing me to doubt myself and make my negative thoughts more believable. Not only is it making my heart anxiety (fear of a heart attack) worse but I'm starting to doubt myself and my interests. I keep questioning whether or not I truly like what I'm passionate about, or that my anxiety causes me to think my interests are "childish" and that I should "grow up" and leave my interests behind and I know in my heart I REALLY don't want that but my mind keeps tormenting me about it. I don't know what to do now. It's VERY hard me to relax in life now. Every time I try to relax my mind keeps chattering away and my body gets more discomfort. I feel like I won't be able to simply relax again. Can anyone help me? Thanks.
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Marc0133
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Hi Marc0133.
Wanted to say I’m sorry for how you feel right now.
I have no great words of wisdom I’m afraid, 😞 but it would seem a real shame not to pursue your passions and interests as you say you enjoy them...have you tried cbt , you can self refer online , if you look up ‘talking therapies nhs ‘ and your area, they should come up. There will be a wait list . How long that is depends on your area, a short form to complete and you have self referred. As a result of going to cbt and sticking with it, I was put forward for other helpful therapies, ie a course of mindfulness. I only really felt the benefit of face to face one to one cbt, although stuck with the other bits at the start to get there.
You deserve to be able to have some relaxation in life,
I too struggle similarly to yourself, learning to manage it helps.
It’s an ongoing process in my opinion.
I meditate to help me sleep, using you tube Jason Stephenson vids or Michael sealey.
Don't worry. Its a tough time but I'm managing. And I have a CBT therapist but I already saw him last week. I'm considering going back to him if I can fit it in my schedule. I just needed some advice online right now. And don't say that! Your suggestions was a lot of help!
Thanks 😊 oh I’m glad you have a therapist and yes it’s good to put it out there on the forum, because even writing it down helps , well i reckon it does ..it’s also nice to know we are not alone when we are having a tough time, and that there are others who understand.
Another thing that worries me is that, everytime I do something that causes anxiety I gasp everytime I think about it. I feel like my anxiety will get so strong that it will cause me physical harm and put me in hospital and cause me a heart condition. I hope anxiety doesn't do that!
Our bodies physically are very clever and give us lots of warnings..I think most fear problems in this way, again I feel we can manage this , by how we live and things we do to stay healthy. Food, drink exercise, breathing exercises and meditation...I went a long time without exercise, it was difficult as I struggled with agoraphobia, as I got stronger I purchased a fit bit, best thing I ever did, gave me so much motivation to walk and it’s helped me so much. N days I can’t get out I do steps at home to reach the recommended 10,000 steps a day. As with anything we can improve our health. Even with small steps....
I don’t worry quite as much about my health now, as I do at least do the walking exercises....
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I don't know what to do now. It's VERY hard me to relax in life now. Every time I try to relax my mind keeps chattering away and my body gets more discomfort. I feel like I won't be able to simply relax again. 
Throat anxiety 
It's all getting too much.
