Hi, I'm new here, and this is a question I ask, because when I am needed I feel worthy. I have an older brother who lives far away and we have skyped practically every day for quite along time. Just recently, he decides he doesn't want to skype me as much and I feel an uneasy sense of sadness. This happens to me in relationships too...It seems I only feel happiness and love when somebody needs me. I feel lonely and depressed! What is the answer?
Why do I feel the need to be needed? - Anxiety Support
hi and welcome to you.i think its great that you managed to skype your brother everyday for a long period of time.no matter if its once twice a week he will still be your loving brother and reducing the skyping wont change that.if your single why don't you try the dating game get yourself out with a friend you never know.
I liked the wording my doctor used recently in their progress note. I lost “multiple social supports”. Although you haven’t lost your brother it feels like decreased significant social support to you perhaps.
Some people find it more difficult to maintain long distance relationships. My mother found it that way. Maybe Skyping isn’t quite the same as personal contacts are for your brother.
I struggle with those type of feelings you mentioned too. I went in therapy when younger & was told that I didn’t like to be disliked but I didn’t like to be liked too much either. A family member can be safer, as you have already worked that out over the years, or so you like to think.
A brother gave me a book around that time called “How to Love Yourself”. Is he trying to tell me something?! I will try to read it now that I have more time on my hands & post if it is of any help.
Thank you Clarissa for your insight. You really touched on it, because that is exactly how I felt. I don't get out much and having my brother on skype everyday gave me comfort and interaction. He is the only person in my family that I talk too, so when he decided that he was too busy to skype me as often as I would like I got very hurt and upset, like I was losing him.
I can get very attached to certain people, especially when they show interest in me, and I don't like change. I just want things to stay the way they were.
I'll have to check that book out "How to love yourself", because I really don't know how to love myself. It's like if I'm not in a relationship I feel lonely. Growing up I didn't feel loved by my parents, so when I was old enough I went looking for it in men.....I would find it temporarily in the beginning of a relationship, what they call "The love bubble". So when that bubble bursts, It's like a never ending quest to find that loving feeling again. I know that sounds crazy.