Do you ever get that feeling like a switch went off in your brain?

[Jmerrick22]

I really don’t know what I’m feeling. I’m anxious off

And on, I feel down, and I keep thinking and thinking. I’m worse early morning and when I’m home. I noticed at work today a group of us talked and I felt better but then I get home and it starts. It feels like the top of my head is tight or tension, and like a switch went off. I really hate this. I have so much on my mind. Like i have to help out another location where I work and I know I’m needed there. Then I’m fearful that what if I have a mental breakdown and lose my job. I can’t afford that to happen. I’m struggling with finances right now. I’ve lived in my apartment since December and I was never late on rent, but my hours got cut at work, and now when I was told that I think it set me off. Maybe my brains trying to protect me, but I was doing so good that’s why I’m in shock like why all of a sidden did this happen. And I’m so paranoid of loosing everything. I just wanna feel more happy and upbeat. I mean I’m depressed but I really think it’s more anxiety. I don’t wanna have to rely on meds for ever either. I’m sick of the hold anxiety has on people it’s loke I wanna be free of the anxiety but don’t know where to start. I don’t eat right as. I should, and I don’t exercise as much. I went to the gym today which felt decent. But this weird feeling inside me is like it don’t want me happy. I feel like I fell off the wagon and wanna get back on. I’m just so lost. I’m afraid of having a breakdown, and I’m afraid of my own mind when I’m like this. I keep thinking I’m crazy. I would love to just freakin relax. I take buspar 10 mg twice a day but I’m gonna ask the dr to raise it. I think it might help while I go see a therapist too. Gotta get in with one hopefully soon. I hate waiting. I know there’s not a cure all, but just to get back to how I was two weeks ago would make me happy. I feel like I’m a different person and kinda detached. Anyone else feel me at all? I’m terrified to be alone too.