Message for Beevee

[Minnie87]

Hi beevee,just wondered how bad your physical anxiety symptoms were as you are totally free of them now and I think we all want to be too.

Hope you don’t mind sharing☺️

[Beevee]

Hi Minnie87.

Not sure what purpose this will serve because it is all anxiety but here goes. In no particular order...

lump in the throat, racing/ thumping heart, aching muscles ( neck, shoulders), tiredness, dry mouth, always anxious, very irritable, blurred vision, mental exhaustion, Irritable bowels, Brain zaps, hyperawareness of bodily sensations e,g. heart thumping, scary thoughts (my biggest hurdle), no feeling for anyone or anything, especially my wife (related to the thoughts), constant feelings of dread, indecisive over trivial things, feelings of depression, unable to relax, no interest in life, social occasions ( enjoyment went out the window), paranoia (mostly at work), worrying all the time, feeling overwhelmed, unable to cope, lack of sleep.

Think that’s my lot 😎

Whatever symptoms you have, don’t look at them individually. Treat them as one ( anxiety) and accept them all. They may feel uncomfortable and scary, but they are all completely harmless and only being kept alive by your fear of them. Lose the fear and all your symptoms will just melt away.

[Minnie87 in reply to Beevee]

Thank you.

I only asked because I wanted to see how badly you suffered because now you are so well recovered.

Hope you didn’t mind me asking.and really appreciate you sharing that with us.its helped me just seeing how you suffered and where you are now.

Thanks again ☺️

[Beevee in reply to Minnie87]

Probably no better or worse than anyone else really but being male, I’m bound to say it was a lot worse than anyone else 😂

[Minnie87 in reply to Beevee]

Lol!my thoughts exactly!

Hope you and your wife have a really happy life now.😊 thanks for all your wise words.

[Beevee in reply to Minnie87]

Yes, thank you. As you probably know, anxiety bombards you with negative thoughts, all complete nonsense too, once you start to see through them and understand that it is just anxious energy being released in the form of thoughts. Many people, myself included, were too impressed by some of those thoughts, especially those that resonated. So when I had thoughts about not loving my wife, they spiked my anxiety and worried about them, a lot. This just fed my anxiety even more, generating yet more scary thoughts about anything and everything.

It took time for me to be able to see them as just figments of an overly anxious mind and completely false but the more I practised letting them come, having their say and then watching them bugger off, got easier. They thrive on the attention we give them, so the less you respect them, the quicker they disappear.

Whether it is the physical or physcological symptoms that bother you, acceptance works for all of them. Just let them be there and do nothing to stop thinking or feeling that way. Gradually, you lose your fear of them and they go.

[Minnie87 in reply to Beevee]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.

Everything you said makes complete sense to me.i want nothing more than to get better,so acceptance is the way forward.

[Beevee in reply to Minnie87]

Anxiety is a gift! You may not be thinking that right now but you will probably change your mind as you go through the recovery process.

People who worry too much and then become frightened of the symptoms of stress will develop anxiety. It can develop in other ways such as through trauma, physically or mentally.

What does anxiety make people do? It makes them worry even more! If there is one lesson to take from anxiety, it is to stop worrying, stop sweating over the small stuff. Through acceptance, letting go becomes second nature. Things that used to wind me up, even before I developed anxiety, just don’t bother me any more. I feel more laid back about stuff and if anything does get to me, I just let it go. Anxiety has given me a life lesson.

[Minnie87 in reply to Beevee]

Wow.i never thought I’d hear anyone say that anxiety is a gift!

But I totally understand what you are saying and it’s so refreshing to see it in a different way.

[Beevee in reply to Minnie87]

It is your friend. Think about it. If something scares the living daylights out of you, do you stop to think about it and decide what to do next? No, you automatically react to the situation either by running away, fighting or freezing ( playing dead). It’s our natural self preservation system that kicks in, instantaneously, and designed to protect us from imminent danger. And it’s bloody great at what it does. If we didn’t get anxious, the human race would probably not have lasted as long as it has.

Anxiety is just that same protection system caught in a loop and not given any time to switch itself off. When it stays switched on for a prolonged period, it becomes the norm, your default setting. Your nerves have become severely sensitised. Your fear is the physical symptoms which keep frightening you which produces more of the same symptoms. Your fight / flight mechanism doesn’t get a rest. It’s on full alert 24/7. This means you are continually preparing yourself to run, hide, avoid etc so there is no room for anything nice to think or feel. Your whole being is focussed on survival, not having a party!

So, as you can see, anxiety is your friend just doing it’s job protecting you from danger. It just so happens that the danger to you is the physical feelings of fear. The fear of the feelings of fear and all too common. All completely curable too through acceptance.

[Minnie87 in reply to Beevee]

I think what worries me at the moment is just my symptoms.i don’t really have any other worries.

I feel like I am going to pass out 24/7 all day every day.sometimes I’m so lightheaded I have to sit down.its just so hard to accept this for anxiety when you feel so so unwell.

[Hidden in reply to Minnie87]

Isn’t it crazy to think this is anxiety?? I tell my dr my symptoms are giving me the anxiety because I never feel right.. it’s so weird.. like how can you just not feel good 24/7 and some feelings I can’t even describe

[TrustnGod in reply to Hidden]

My thoughts exactly!

[cortisolqueen in reply to Beevee]

You are so wise, I appreciate you taking the time to post these messages. They are very helpful to someone like me who is still caught up in the fear cycle.

[cortisolqueen in reply to Beevee]

Wow what a great post. I know exactly what you mean. Thanks for sharing. I try so hard to not be afraid but I fail miserably.

[Beevee in reply to cortisolqueen]

Sorry this is late! Was scrolling through and picked up on your note about trying so hard and failing miserably.

Stop trying. Stop trying to feel different other than being scared. It’s completely natural under the circumstances when nerves are sensitised.

There isn’t anything you can do about it. It’s an automatic reaction to an anxious thought (first fear) brought about by sensitisation of the nerves through stress or a series of stressors. You can, however, decide how you then react to the first fear. This is called the second fear and can often be described as the “What ifs?” For example, What if I can’t recover, what if my heart gives up, what if I can’t cope? This is you adding second fear to the first fear flash and the very reason you and many others (me included until I understood what was going on and why) stay stuck in the anxiety cycle. Breaking the cycle is all about letting the first fear come, watch it scare you and then to let the feeling/ thought go and do nothing about it. Learn to observe and not get involved with the first fear, no matter how severe it might feel. It’s just anxious energy being released and of no importance. Turn those What ifs into So What! Those scary thoughts and feeling won’t be there when you recover so learn not to give them any respect.

It’s a bit like being sat near a screaming child on a plane. You either let it wind you up or you don’t. It still screams but you accept it and carry on with whatever you were doing. You may even find yourself switching off to the screams when you turn your attention to something else. It becomes background noise.

It is easier to accept if you have children of your own and been through it. You know what is happening and experienced. The same applies to anxiety. If you understand how anxiety can manifest itself, it takes away a lot of the fear and easier to accept. You gain experience in learning to let go. Acceptance will dissolve the second fear and in time, the first fear will disappear too as your nerves recover and de-sensitise. Sensitisation is the cause of first fear. If you pay too much respect to second fear, it keeps the nerves sensitised so first fear will continue to flash, keeping that cycle going.

Anyhow, I hope your recovery is progressing and do not be too disheartened if it’s slow. My recovery was slow which meant I had more time to practice acceptance.

Best wishes

Beevee

[Agora1 in reply to Beevee]

Hi Beevee, just wanted to say "hi". Hope all is well

[Beevee in reply to Agora1]

Hello my friend. All good here, thank you. Got a dog which is now 6 months old and quickly become my best friend. Follows me everywhere and cute too. Man’s best friend. True that! Been to the Big Apple too with the family. Missed the dog though 😕

[TrustnGod in reply to Beevee]

Wow. “Treat then as one and accept them all” I never thought about this. I just take each symptom, wonder if it’s anxiety, freak out, go to the doctor to get testing to confirm it isn’t something terminal or emergent, and then I write it down as anxiety. How do I even teach my brain just to recognize my symptoms as anxiety! I’ve had so much testing done I should KNOW the new symptoms are anxiety but I just don’t.

~Lia

[Beevee in reply to TrustnGod]

Just keep practising acceptance. Don’t spend time and worrying if it’s anxiety or something else. If you’ve had all the tests and all is ok, it is highly likely to be anxiety. It takes time to learn to let go but you will get there. Recovery is inevitable when you understand what is happening to you and why. You lose your fear of “it” which is the only thing keeping “it” going.