If you want to recover from anxiety, please read this. This message does not contain any gimmicks or promises of instant cure.

[Beevee]

Hi

Over the past few days, I've read lots of messages from people who are desparate to recover from anxiety and have tried to reply to as many of them as I possibly can.

Many of the messages are from people seeking reassurance over their symptoms, or a new symptom which is strange to them, adding yet more stress and frustration to an over stressed mind and body. But why does it continue?

The simple answer is that anxiety has become your problem and giving you something else to stress over (What's wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? How do I get rid of this? What if I never recover?) . You then enter a vicious cycle of anxiety-fear-anxiety. Bewilderment usually follows and every day is a continuous battle as you try to think and fight your way out of the mess. The trouble is, the extra stress and worry makes it worse and will probably be on your mind all day, every day. In your desparate attempts to get better, your continuous search for answers, self analysis and attempts to control your anxious thoughts and feelings has had the opposite effect. Your nerves have taken such a beating, they have become sensitised, reached overload and constantly on high alert for danger. You then become exposed to the risk of developing all sorts of iirrational fears about your health, relationships and anything else.

However, no matter how long you have suffered from anxiety or panic attacks or how deeply entrenched you feel, you have it within you to make a full recovery. I know this because I suffered from severe anxiety for 6 years and fullyy recovered.

For me, every day was filled with industrial strength fear and stress which made it almost impossible to function. I too wanted to be cured instantly but never got the answer I was looking for from the medical profession and other so called experts. I even tried hypnosis but to no avail. I felt beyond help. Yet more despair.

The turning point for me came when a friend told me about a self help book called Essential Help For Your Nerves by the late (great) Dr Claire Weekes and finding a website called Anxiety No More set up by Paul David who had also made a full recovery. It took me a while to get to grips with the teachings but it gradually started to click into place, I still had terrible anxiety and bouts of depression which was making life very tough but persisted with the way described in the book and website (both the same teachings)

The teachings in the book helped me to understand what was happening to me and took away some of the fear. Paul's website provided a more practical understanding to what Dr Weekes meant by Facing, Accepting, Floating Past & Letting time pass. In a nutshell, I learned that I should allow the anxiety and all its symptoms the time and space do what ever they wanted to do without putting up any resistance, be comfortable about feeling uncomfortable , carry on living my life, taking the anxiety with me. This required a shift in my attitude towards the symptoms so that I genuinely did not care about them. Well, I faked it until I made it and the symptoms gradually faded away but it did take some time, so please be patient, which I know can be difficult, under current circumstances.

You have to trust that your mind and body (nerves) will heal naturally if you give up the fight. Giving up means that you are no longer adding more stress and fear to your already sensitised nerves so that they can heal. The healing process is the same if you catch a cold/flu etc. You feel lousy but because you understand colds/flu, you aren't constantly stressing about getting better or questioning why you have a cold. You simply let your body recover without having to do very much and go about your business. This is how you recover from anxiety. Just accept all the symptoms as anxiety and do nothing about them. Recovery does take time but it is worth the wait, I can tell you.

[looking4me]

Thank you. I am suffering from job anxiety. How do i know this? I get panic attacks and depressed about my job. It is quite a specific anxiety. Since, no two people are alike, I can only speak for myself. I have tried medications, and to be truly honest, did nothing for my work related anxiety. Sure, I felt cloudy and vacant at times, but still had the same anxiety, just masked behind a medication. If that makes any sense..lol. So I have to make the decision now to accept that I do not want to be on meds to try to go to a job that I despise... Nursing. Which is highly stressful, and I have been doing long enough. I don't agree that someone should suffer and take meds when a lifestyle change may be all that's needed. But, it seems society pushes meds down our throats thinking it is the best solution. Also, counselling has been suggested. So I am supposed to feel better because I told a stranger that I hate my job? So, perhaps retraining for me is the next step. Otherwise, I will just continue to suffer in this career. Day in and day out. Like its ruined my life and my health long enough.

[Beevee in reply to looking4me]

Hi looking4me.

Really sorry to read your story and think I understand how you feel. It is true that constant stress does eventually sensitise your nerves which leads to nervous illness. Add fear of those symptoms into the equation and the cycle begins. I may not be able to offer support on your problem (hate your job) but there are certain aspects of recovery that will help. Worrying about your job too much for too long brings emotional and physical suffering which is common. If you understand anxiety, this will take away some of the Fearand enable you to approach your problem with a clearer perspective. At the moment, your judgement may be clouded by the stress and anxiety but with a bit more clarity that comes by following the advice I followed from the aforementioned Dr Weekes and website, you may be better placed to decide what you should do, job wise.

For me, I was moved jobs within the same company but never knew what is was like to not feel stressed while performing the new role. It's not a very rewarding job and a bit dull. It was also stressful because I was shoved in at the deep end with very little training. I had to work it all out while filled full of fear, 24/7. It was easy for resentment, paranoia, self doubt, zero confidence to set in. I fought and won two bad performance ratings which weren't exactly plain sailing either. I could hardly get into bed or out of bed. I feared going to work, going home, going back to work. I hated it all. I wanted to stop working altogether, leave home. Do anything to escape the thoughts and feelings. Anxiety had turned my world upside down, inside out and back to front 😱 Did I mention Sideways? However, having learned about anxiety, I knew it would just follow me wherever I went and would only leave when It was ready to leave. You cannot control anxiety. If you try, you stay stuck in the cycle.

Therefore, I decided to do the opposite and not undertake any life changing decisions while I had anxiety. Now recovered, I'm so glad I did nothing. My marriage is stronger than ever, I have peace of mind and body and the job is still dull and boring and a bit stressful. However, the stress is easily manageable compared to how I used to feel because it doesn't bother me any more.. The other major difference being I no longer fear stress which got me stuck in the first place. My emotional reactions are now back to normal instead of being grossly exaggerated by the anxiety. I feel fine and full of optimism.

Best wishes

Beevee

[Christine1970 in reply to looking4me]

Hello looking4me,

I understand where your coming from with anxiety. Do a job that is less stressful and do it for yourself. We need to take care if ourselves, and believe me I am still working with my severe anxiety, depression and panic attacks. My doctor just started me on a low dosage 10 mg to start on celexa, takes some time to work, my dr will put me to higher dose but has to be done under drs guidance. Mine started getting worse like in March sometimes you have things in life that can make it worse. I have been seeing a therapist at least once or twice a week. Medicine might be starting to help only been on this new one for a week. I was told along with medicine you have to work on your anxiety in other ways to help ourselves. Wanted to share that my therapist wants be to start going to intense outpatient therapy, I set my consult up, then it will be three times a week for 3 hours a day for six weeks. I'm also very doing everything else they have asked me to work on.Also The anxiety and phobia workbook is helpful. Talk to you our soon, hope this can help

[Hidden in reply to looking4me]

Have you tried connecting with the anxiety and asking it what it would like to communicate to you? Is it a fear of failure? fear of judgment? fear of not being good enough? The subconscious mind it there to keep you alive and if it feels there is a threat - e.g. someone else judging you (this can feel life threatening to the subconscious mind) it will go into survival mode or "Fight, Flight, Freeze" known today as "Anxiety, Anger, Helplessness". If you can work out what is triggering the anxiety, you can start to understand it and once you acknowledge it and understand it you can look at resolving it. Use your creative imagination to imagine a world where you are free from anxiety and in your power, visualise this every evening before you go to bed and every morning when you wake up to get yourself in a peak state. There are loads of websites and therapists out there that can help you. I hope this helps! Remember to breath!!!! Check out some breathing exercises on the internet and do them everyday! To shift anxiety you need to take action.

[Sfqueen]

I suffer from GAD and OCD you think I can recover... I am just feel anxious all the time.. And having strange thoughts and depressed.

[Beevee in reply to Sfqueen]

Absolutely yes. I had GAD and obsessive thoughts linked to relationship anxiety. It is common amongst sufferers. If you don't believe me about being able to recover, I urge you to buy the book, visit the website and learn the way to recover. If you follow the advice, it will happen. All anxiety disorders, including OCD is fear based and a learned behaviour which is good because you can un-learn it. The book will explain how you develop OCD which will take away some of the fear of not knowing and also teaches you how to recover by accepting it all. It isn't a technique it is about a change in attitude to how you view anxiety/OCD. If you face and accept the fear in all its various guises, recovery is inevitable because it follows the natural healing powers of your body. It is a force of nature, not some gimmick designed to line someone's pockets. Don't get me wrong, recovery isn't east but with practice, it will come to you. Don't go searching for it.

Best wishes

Beevee

[Sfqueen in reply to Beevee]

Thank you I will thanks for providing hope. I want to be happy again

[Beevee in reply to Sfqueen]

Hi SFQueen

Just don't strive for happiness because it implies you are still trying to recover so your brain thinks there is still a threat and keeps you on high alert. Keeps you feeling stressed, feeling anxious. Our fight flight response is archaic and was designed to make us run away from sabre tooth tigers, dinosaurs and the odd woolly mammoth. It was pretty efficient at protecting us back then (Fred Flintsone was a neighbour 😉) but hasn't moved with the times so now keeps itself busy making us flee more mundane things 😕.

Your nerves are stressed and tired and have become sensitised which is why your alert system is so easily triggered by something far less exciting than a prehistoric animal. Your brain naturally starts looking for the threat but sabre tooth tigers and woolly mammoths are in short supply nowadays so it goes in search of another threat which is usually something that has meaning to you. I had GAD so the anxiety dabbled in everything but struck a nerve with my health, my relationships and then my job but only because I reacted more strongly to those thoughts turbo charged by anxiety. Naturally, I took the bait, hook, line and sinker and started fighting them questioning their validity. In the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman..."Big Mistake. Big. Huge.

Anxiety could so easily have latched on to my sleep, going places (agoraphobia) or anything else but I was able to readily accept them as being bogus so didn't stick to me.

As for OCD, the way out of that is to practice what Dr Weekes referred to as glimpsing the truth, if only fleetingly at first. A tired mind battered by self introspection is like a stuck vinyl record (hope you remember these) because your mind just keeps going round in circles stuck in the same groove. Glimpsing are moments of clarity when you see the thoughts for what they are. Grossly exaggerated and deceitful, designed to draw you in. However a single glimpse is enough to start the ball rolling and even though the same anxious thoughts will probably keep appearing for a while, you will know (or certainly have a very strong suspicion) that they are all completely false which makes acceptance of them much easier. Acceptance is the key. Accept it all. Allow it all. Don't fight back. I know it's hard but practice makes perfect.

Don't go searching for happiness or recovery. Let it come to you. It WILL find you.

[lily999 in reply to Beevee]

I am glad I found this thanks. I have health anxiety, had it on and off for a few years. Got well earlier this year.it came back about a month ago with the news my adult son has a chronic illness. So now I am back to anxiety really bad. Sickly every morning can't eat,don't want to go out,sleep problems it goes on. Already on citalapram feel guilty too as not helping my son bring Like this.

[Cat33 in reply to Sfqueen]

I will echo absolutely yes I did and you can x

[pata99]

You said it all....no book needed. Its all about embracing the rabbit hole.

[Cat33]

Oh Beevee as you know I'm your number 1 fan !! I think what you are doing is fantastic on this forum

Everything you have written is how I recovered and Claire Weekes was my saviour

I had never thought of it like a cold what a genius way of describing it You are so right we get a cold understand its just a cold it feels rotten but we look after ourselves treat ourselves kindly pamper ourselves let time pass

Anxiety we fight it want it gone we don't accept it Fantastic analogy

Have a peaceful day

[Pat9]

So agree with all you have wrote Beevee without Dr Weekes first 2 books I bought way back in the 70s I wouldn't be here now.. I got the recently published book just to see if it had any more advice as I know Dr Weekes is now passed and was pleasantly surprised to see it did so the recent book is fully inclusive very good advice to for those who cant live their home she covers that so well your doing a brilliant job of helping others on here well done you xx

[Gina10]

How can I stop thinking about it? I'm in the anxiety loop stage I feel a certain pain I get anxiety but anxiety is causing that chest or neck pain. How can I get over the loop?

[Beevee in reply to Gina10]

Gina10

You can't stop thinking about it but if you change the way you react to those thoughts and feelings, the cycle will eventually break. Don't be afraid to think or feel anything. It might be uncomfortable but entirely harmless.

You may also be unwittingly keeping yourself in the cycle by add ing "second " fear to the thought and feelings. To understand what this means, the following is taken from a book called Essential Help For Your Nerves by the late great Dr Claire Weekes. If you don't already own a copy, buy one. It is the "go to" manual to recover from anxiety.

A person not suffering from nervous illness will occasionally experience "first" fear. It is the fear that comes immediately in response to danger. The person understands it and accepts that it will soon pass after the danger passes. The flash of first fear that comes to a sensitised person (anxiety sufferer) in response to danger can be so electric in its swiftness and so out of proportion to the danger causing it, it cannot be readily dismissed and the sufferer usually recoils from it. In recoiling from the feeling, the suffer adds a second flash of fear. They add fear of the first fear. Indeed, the sufferer may be much more concerned with the physical feeling of panic than with the original danger. And because of that old bogey, sensitisation, the first flash of fear is prolonged and the second flash may seem to join it. This is why 2 fears feel as one.

Second fear is easy to recognise because it is prefixed by "what if....?" or "oh my goodness, it took me 3 sleeping tablets to get me to sleep last night. What if 3 don't work tonight?" "What if I get worse, not better?" So many "what ifs" or "oh my goodnesses" make up second fear. Do you recognise this?

Anxiety sufferers don't realise that it is the second fear they add that keeps them in the anxiety cycle. First fear will always pass but it is your reaction to the second fear that will break the cycle.

Gina10,, this is what I mean by not fighting the thoughts or feelings, not trying to figure it all out. Leg the first thought come with its flash but don't shrink from it. Let the thought come and do its worst but learn not to add the "oh my goodness, here it is again."

If you read the book, you will understand what is happening to you and with this knowledge and understanding, it helps to remove alot of the fear and uncertainty. Also know as "What if?" or "oh my goodness...."

Once you get the hang of reacting the right way ( by doing nothing) you are accepting which will eventually calm your nerves, thus removing the first fear too. The golden key to recovery of all anxiety disorders is total acceptance.

Can you relate to this Gina10?

[Gina10 in reply to Beevee]

Yes I can very much relate. I'm always fighting the what if thoughts. So you're saying I need to accept the symptoms and feelings and let it pass through. I feel better being reassured by my doctor nothing is wrong just anxiety.

[Beevee]

Exactly. As I've said before, learning to be ok about not feeling ok is acceptance. Tough to grasp at first but it does come. Do normal stuff and take the anxiety with you. Don't let it stop you doing anything. Reassurance is good but know that habit and memory can and does keep regurgitating fearful thoughts and symptoms so don't be alarmed. Accept it all and recovery will follow.

[Gina10 in reply to Beevee]

But what if I get a panic attack and when I do I start trembling especially my legs. How do I control that if I'm in public or work. It hasn't happened at work but the first panic attack was at Wal-Mart, hospital and a hotel. With all I couldn't stop trembling

[Beevee in reply to Gina10]

You don't control it. You let it happen. That is the point of acceptance. You have no control over the anxiety so no point in trying. Trying to control it just keeps you in the loop so give up trying. If your legs feel wobbly, let them feel wobbly. It is only the adrenalin doing this and perfectly normal under the circumstances (You have anxiety) They will still be strong enough to support you. You add more fear to the fear if you are worrying panic will come. Let it come and let it do its worst. You have to go through the panic with as much acceptance as you can muster. With practice, the panic begins to lose its force until it no longer matters.

[Angela15]

Great reply, will look at what you suggested.