There is hope : I joined this site a year... - Anxiety Support

Anxiety Support

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There is hope

5 years ago•6 Replies

I joined this site a year and a half ago as I had totally unraveled . I was having such severe anxiety I could barely leave my house.

I couldn’t watch tv , read, listen to music as it all gave me such intense and overwhelming anxiety.

I was barely able to work, I stayed home in bed most of the time.

I thought about ending my life if this was what it was going to be.

But I had never experienced this kind of anxiety before, I had experienced stress ( which is just another word for fear) and I’d had anxiety ( mild to challenging) on and off but very manageable.

I’d mostly struggle with depression in the past.

So this sudden onset on debilitating anxiety with agoraphobia was really perplexing.

I saw a therapist and began weekly visits and doing EMDR.

I got on meds and I began the journey of healing.

My mantra was “ There no other option then healing “.

Not getting better was not an option.

It took me 3 months before I started to feel somewhat back to myself.

It was a slow journey that had setbacks and leaps forward.

But I’m here a year and a half later fully returned to my life & doing even better then before the breakdown.

It’s not the meds I took ( they helped stabilize me and suppress some symptoms)

But the work really came through therapy and examining my thoughts, fears, and beliefs I was holding.

I’m still in therapy but I only go once a month now.

I take Zoloft 150 mg. But I’m a thousand times better then I was.

Healing takes time, commitment, willingness, and facing a shit ton of fear.

Things can get worse before they get better, but I’m not some phenomena, I’m you.

You can get better.

I still have anxiety, I still get depressed, I still have hard days, but that’s part of life.

Everyone has moments or days or weeks or years of being more anxious then other times in their lives.

Or being depressed.

Acceptance of feelings, of being where you are, allowing yourself to feel bad when you feel bad versus believing you should feel different , is a major step.

Fighting anxiety or depression is a upstream battle.

For me surrendering, letting it be okay for me to feel what I was feeling, even if it was overwhelming fear.

I’d sit with the fear, dive into it and say “ bring it!”

Facing my fears instead of running or fighting or trying to suppress them was my way through the anxiety.

As the saying goes “ you’ve got to feel it to heal it”.

Learning to trust yourself, not believing your body, your anxiety is an enemy.

It’s here it’s showing you something and it’s not the enemy.

Your emotions no matter how horrible are not the enemy.

It’s your relationship with them that counts.

Healing is possible.

You’re not alone, you’re not broken, you are worthy, and life is worth living.

Even when it’s hard as Fuck.