Hope for the Future?

[Beth1982]

Does anyone ever feel "normal" since I developed anxiety/panic in March. I feel nervous/anxious pretty much all day, everyday. My life has really changed (and not for the good) I see no hope in my future. Everyday, is a struggle... I feel like I'm loosing my life.

[Agora1]

Beth, what happened in March?

[Agora1]

Beth, I am a believer that anxiety/panic doesn't come out of nowhere. And once it does rear it's ugly head, unless the matter is gone, it will continue. Sometimes it is something catastrophic either physically or emotionally. If we continue to live in that negative place every day, nothing will change.

[Alan_98]

Hang in there, you will feel normal once again, it'll just take time to get there 😊 try doing what you use to do before anxiety

[Beth1982]

My son became very ill in November, I had to take a family medical leave to care for him, (Nov-April) then in March my grandmother passed away (unexpectedly) then in April I was hospitalized for the flu, dehydration and panic.

[Agora1 in reply to Beth1982]

I understand, so very sorry. xx

[Melanie29]

I only got anxiety April just gone and I feel same as you sometimes no hope for the future, but I've got family members who have had anxiety and has got over it, so there is eventually light at the end of the tunnel, we just have to learn how to get there xx

[JPB_7139]

i'm sorry you're feeling this way Beth. Do you know what triggered your anxiety? Did anything particular happen in your life?

Are you doing anything currently to help with the anxiety?

[Beth1982 in reply to JPB_7139]

I think my anxiety is a build up of many years. I could be wrong but it's just my opinion... To start I had my first child at only 18, then I went trough a terrible divorce (abusive husband at 24), I remarried years later to my current husband he has two children from a previous marriage and they do not like me, his Ed-wife keeps him in court...causes tons of problems) then my parents divorced. It was probably the ugliest divorce ever. My dad put me in the middle. Eventually he stopped speaking to me for about a year. Now, he drinks everyday and is dating a girl younger than me. Then this past November my son became extremely ill. No one could figure it out, I had to take a leave from work and eventually we eventually ended up at a Nationwide Children's hospital ( he has bechets disease) then my grandma ( I lived with for years) unexpectedly passed away in March. I had no anxiety or panic until April of this year and then it blindsided me and swept me off my feet...

[JPB_7139 in reply to Beth1982]

Oh my goodness! I have to say first, I'm very sorry. It truly sounds like you have had so much going on it domino effected on you! You must have internalized all this trauma and then you simply could not internalize anything anymore.

This anxiety you're having is completely normal reading all you have gone through.

The next step is what can we do now to make things better for you?

It sounds like your husband has his own battles with his ex. However, are you able to find support with him?

Is there anything you enjoy doing that relieves some stress?

Is your son doing any better?

Sometimes, we need to take a time out from things to focus internally on our happiness. And that is 110% ok!

[Beth1982 in reply to JPB_7139]

Wow! I really like your response.

My husband tried to be supportive but it's hit or miss.

I use to love to read and travel. I'm currently finding it hard to drive, so no traveling. I try to read but become distracted easily with my anxiety.

My son is doing better, he takes daily meds the most stressful issue with him at this point is trying to get all of his grades up to pass the 9th grade.

I do truly feel alone and that makes it harder.

I appreciate your kindness.

[JPB_7139 in reply to Beth1982]

I'm happy I could help!

It's good you're husband is supportive even sometimes. I can understand it is very difficult to manage our own lives and also be strong for others. And that is ok too.

Just know, you are strong enough to support yourself emotionally. You are. You have to beleive this. Your thoughts mirror your actions.

What is happening when you drive?

Reading for me is a tough one when I have anxiety because it requires me to push aside any thoughts to focus on something else to read and comprehend.

Have you tried doing any physical activity? exercise? cook? garden? something you can do little by little each day and look forward to?

I have never heard of Bechet's disease until today. That sounds traumatizing for a 9th grader. As if 9th graders aren't going through enough chnages.

Are you and your son pretty close? Do you both get along?

I'm happy to be here for you!

[Beth1982 in reply to JPB_7139]

I have tried to push through and continue to work. I've mostly been able to do that. Outside of work I haven't did anything

When I drive for long periods of time, I have a panic attack. It's never actually about driving (wrecking/getting lost, etc) it's always about me ... (I'm going crazy, I can't do this, I can't swallow...etc)

I think that today, I'm going to try gardening and exercise... I've read a lot about the benrfits, I am always so tired and exhausted.

His 9th grade year has been horrible. All the illness and missing out on so much with his class and friends. With his daily medication he seems to be doing better.

My son and I are very close. He is one of the very best parts of my life.

Thanks for talking with me...

[JPB_7139 in reply to Beth1982]

Definitely try to take care of you first. If you don't have to drive far, then don't do it. Try to find ways and things that help keep your mind off the feeling of being anxious. And in the meantime list the things you CAN control in your life, and things you CANNOT.

The things you can control such as your thoughts, behaviors, actions are great! This means we can change them and shift to new habits.

The things you cannot control, such as your son's illness. This is a tought situation because I am sure you want to help your son more. You can;t cure the disease, but you can do the best you can to help him with support. Which I'm sure you already do.

Maybe you both can do something together to comfort each other. Pick up a hobby with each other that would benifit the both of you. That is something you could control in that situation. The hobby doesn't have to cost much money. It can be something as easy as cooking dinner together, coming up with fun recipes.

The things in life we cannot control, we must find a new way to think bout that situation. And the things we can control, we have to make a choice.

I hope I'm helping!

[Beth1982 in reply to JPB_7139]

You are definitely helping..

I actually gave in this morning after missing work and crying all morning and took 1/2 Ativan. I feel a little better. I don't want to become dependent on meds.

[JPB_7139 in reply to Beth1982]

Don't worry. take it as needed. As long as you're actively making small steps toward doing things that make you feel happy and bring joy back into your life!

Eventually one day you will wake up and forget you have the option to take the meds because you are indeed managing your stress and anxiety better.

It takes time, and the best thing you can do is take each day as it comes, take each minute as it comes. Worrying about tomorrow or weeks from now is not going to help your present being.

You wont be dependent on medication. I promise.

[Beth1982 in reply to JPB_7139]

Wow! You really help me! Thank you so much...

[JPB_7139 in reply to Beth1982]

You're so very welcome!