I am anxiety.

[Dnel82]

Hello. I've been living a with an anxiety disorder now for close to 2 years. Some days are worse than others, but unfortunately my anxiety is with me every day. I've tried therapy (unsuccessful) and i don't medicate. I don't demonize medication but it's not for me. I feel it's just a bandaid and can lead to dependency.

My anxiety stems from and event that took place in my life that lead me to experience a really bad panic attack. I thought i was having a heart attack and dying. This basically signed me up for the disorder i have today.

I was never able to get over what happened. The intensity of the experience. Given that i was always a natural over thinker/worrier which was the perfect combination for any person to develop anxiety. It went down hill for me from there.

I was a reck. Constantly on edge. Couldn't sleep, focus, or enjoy alone/relaxation time. I was in constant anticipation for the next major panic attack. And guess what? A second major attack is what exactly happened. Lasted 2 hours. Two hours of freaking out.

It was a done deal after that. Welcome Mr.anxiety into my life. Now it's been almost 3 years. I've made the hospitals very rich within this time. Though I've received many diagnoses deeming me a well and healthy individual. My anxiety doesn't allow for me to be.

I still experience chess pressure, panic attacks, and all the debilitating physical symptoms that accompany anxiety. Each passing day i feel like my anxiety is evolving. I've developed cardiophobia, health anxiety, some form of hypochondriac, fear of panic attacks, and the thought of thinking I'm going to die almost every day.

I manage myself. I eat right, meditate , work out and try to behave unanxiously. Sometimes i feel it's just not enough. I've even considered hypnotherapy, but am a still up on the fence about it.

I know my story is very long winded. I'm so lost sometimes and i find myself hating life. What can i do to feel better, be better and live better? I'm so very tired. Every day is a new day with this and unfortunately it never gets old.

[Agora1]

Dnel82, Sometimes there may be a need for medication just to break that cycle of fear. It is certainly not the answer to ridding yourself of the symptoms. It can give you the time you need to find other methods in controlling or ridding yourself of the panic. When I got off my medications, I did turn to hypnotherapy and found it very beneficial. It's a little costly but once you feel comfortable in allowing yourself to open up to the powerful suggestions of relaxation, you can do this on your own. I use YouTube Hypnotherapy Meditation for anxiety and it works very well. I hope you will give it a try. There are so many other tools out there that can be used in place of medication. I also use Deep Breathing. Good Luck Dnel. xx

[Dnel82 in reply to Agora1]

Hi Agora. Thanks for the response. I'm curious. How well has hypnotherapy worked for you? Would you recommend?

[Agora1 in reply to Dnel82]

Unbelievably well. With a qualified hypnotherapist, you are under the best of care. You are not going to be made to do anything you don't want to that's including the suggestions that are made while in a deep relaxing state. You can hear them talking, if you had to in an emergency, you could wake up and leave. (that's important to know)

With myself, the suggestion of counting backwards from 10 to 0 was put in my subconscious mind. To this day, anytime I'm going down in an elevator, I watch the

numbers start going down and immediately my shoulders come down and I go into

a relaxed mode. Watching tv, listening to the radio...and I hear numbers going backwards, I get the same results. What I love the most is when using my microwave,

the last 10 seconds as I watch the numbers dwindle, I feel this peace come over me.

I do hope you try it and please let us know what you thoughts. xx

[Dnel82 in reply to Agora1]

Mind if i ask the type of anxiety you suffer or suffered from and for how long? It's nice to hear that it was successful for you. Has the hypnotherapy made it more manageable or made it so that it's close to nothing?

I like to categorize anxiety into two brackets. The normal and abnormal. Normal is obviously what you'd experience in situations when it's called for and abnormal being the irrational kind that manifest when it's out of control. So im sure the "normal" type is still there. Is the abnormal kind still something you have to deal with or are you free from it in a sense?

Sorry for so many questions. I've been up on the fence about going through with it for close to 2 years. I'm at the point where I'm open to to trying it and have read nothing but good things about it.

[Agora1 in reply to Dnel82]

I have been diagnosed with GAD. (30 plus years) I had been on medication at the start, therapy, hospitalization. When I decided 30 years on low maintenance Xanax

was no longer working, I knew I had to try different modalities that were available

Hypnotherapy was only one of the methods I tried in controlling my anxiety.

I've had both normal and abnormal anxiety, although to me, it's all abnormal in how we react to anxious situations. We are never given a guarantee that anxiety will leave us completely. After all we were born with an over sensitized nervous system, at least that's what I feel. Things that happen to us in childhood and beyond exacerbate the anxiety we are more prone to. Just as everyone gets headaches from time to time, just as everyone can get anxious as well. What we

deal with is above and beyond the normal anxious moment.

Self hypnosis can help immensely when we get into that out of control situation with anxiety or panic. It's a disciplinary method of controlling our emotions by not letting them get to that point or at least bring us some relief sooner. Everything and anything we may use takes practice. Not just when we need it but daily. I do Meditation and Deep Breathing, 3 times a day, every day. My mind is well trained

to react w/o thinking should I find myself in an anxious situation. And that includes anything from good anxiety to bad anxiety. The sub conscious doesn't distinguish between the two. Going on a date, meeting a new guy is just as stimulating as being in a car accident. So even though the anxiety stems from a different situation, the remedy stays the same.

I hope you give it a try. Until you make the decision, it's like us having that prescription med sitting on the shelf because we are afraid to try it. And so we stay stuck. Good Luck xx

[Dnel82 in reply to Agora1]

Wow. My 3 Years just made me look like a rookie. Well thanks for the insight.

[Agora1 in reply to Dnel82]

Good Luck Dnel82, you can do it. It took me longer because I didn't have the support of a forum or friends/family to encourage me. We are right here to walk the walk with you in going forward. You're never alone my friend. xx

[Kittykat2]

A lot on here will relate to you.

You write really well........ maybe a journal or writing your feelings down might help to release some of it.

I like the way you explain it too..

:"try to behave unanxiously" your words.

Thats one of the hardest things to do around other people exhausting in fact wears you out makes you just want to sleep.

Keep writing keep going.

[Naliegha]

Hi app i have ocd and anxiety panic attacks from it, i pray for peace and strength and God introduced me to Dare app. Give it a try ita life changing. Or YouTube barry mcdonagh he's the creator of it and had anxiety too. It's a great app. Pacifica is great too mindfulness and inner reflection helps. But try Dare app, it's not a religious app but God led me to it. And it's been incredible. help im having a panic attack and worry are great audios in the dare app. Also annxiety is probably best audio. God bless friend!

[steadfast66]

Don't give up. What is making you anxious? Try dealing with the issues you can change and try not to worry about the ones you can not change. Try doing or reading something that would take your mind off your anxiety. You are not alone.

[o2G2o]

You sound a lot like me a few months ago, especially the cardiophobia. I'm at work right now so I can't type out a long response, but I replied a couple of weeks ago to someone else's post and I'd write pretty well the exact same thing to you. Your situation is actually even more like mine than the other guy's.

healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...

[justanote]

My heart goes out to you! I started having panic attacks about 15 years ago after experiencing a very stressful time in my life. Like you, I was already prone to excessive worrying and my nerves were shot. It took me a year or so to really feel like I was back to "normal", but it has really been a "new normal". I live with anxiety every day. While that may not sound encouraging, it has actually been a blessing in disguise. If not for my anxiety, I would likely not be aware of my own physical and emotional limitations. Though I have been on a low dosage of anti-anxiety medication for a couple of years, I can attest to the value of journaling, relaxation techniques and prayer. I hope that you will find help and healing.

[Hidden]

Not long winded at all mate, I can relate to a lot of what you wrote, until a few years ago I was happy go lucky not a care in the world, then an event happened loosing my mum and it’s just knocked me for 6! I’ve also tried therapy and the same it didn’t help, but then I thought about medication, I was against it at first as read too much bad stuff, but before all this I was sting minded, I gave it ago with help from my GP and after a month I reduced the dose over a month and then no more medication, but I just needed that initial help and then done my own thing, Jesus didn’t realise my reply was so long winded, hope your getting on fine mate

[Blondiful]

I could have wrote exactly this Dnel I’m so sick of it. I’ve had it 5 years after the death of 2 friends i mean I was so care free and happy then one day I basically went to the hospital which I thought was a heart attack at 30 years of age, but it’s all anxiety. I went for cbt and have never used medication i thought Dr Claire weekes was great and I had a good year of anxiety free somedays I felt abit off but the last few months now it’s back and it’s every symptom to heart palpations like you said just resting. My head is full I’m off balance I feel awful. Went and got bloods done again, I know what it is I just can’t seem to make my head stop thinking I’m dying or gonna drop dead and it’s so draining and so hard, but we are tough and we will get over this too.

[Dnel82]

Yeah anxiety sucks. Lol. Every day is like you're experiencing it for the first time. It never gets old. For us sufferers at least. I'm going to PM a link to something I've been practicing. Hope it helps.

After joining this community I've at least found relief that my symptoms aren't just "made up." To read many others go through the same makes me aware that I'm not going crazy and the physical part is very real. Still sad though that folks have to live the way we do.

[Ricksilva]

Hey I'm new here and I feel exactly the same. I'm obsessed with my heart and always think something is wrong. Docs tell me all is well. I even wake up with chest pain just as I enter sleep then it's goes away when I'm awake. My episode last night only woke me twice as I was able to keep calm and tell my self it was anxiety AGAIN. This same thing has kept me up for hours before but I'm getting better in dealing with it. Has anyone gone through this??? I still get anxious and scared around bed time

[Hidden]

Dnel82....your story sounds very similar to lots of the stories around these parts. I know that you said that you have tried therapy but I was going to suggest EMDR therapy. I just started it last week. My anxiety stems for a traumatic experience and EMDR works to help you process he trauma in an effort to make it less traumatic for you thereby lowering your anxiety levels. It may be worth a try. Even if it isn’t, stick around and seek support when you need it!!