Ruining my relationship

[lourocks]

I finally found the love of my life after being single so long and my anxiety is destroying everything I constantly second guess her and my self always paraniod she has mentioned on several occadions that im not letting her breathe my behaviour is un acceptable but i can't stop i need some help before its 2 late she has had enough of me calling 100 times a day or accusing her of things i know she never did

[Delanna]

I understand where you are coming from. A man should be protective over his woman however there is a fine line between controlling and protecting. For example if she goes out with her friends call her ask her how she is tell her enjoy and you miss her and if she needs anything . Sweet talk. Girls love that. Now that being said you should be sincere of course . Hence actions speak louder than words of course.

Show her more love . Explain calmly why you are paranoid.

It is best for you two to come to a mutual agreement discuss things out. By the end of the day love is stronger than anxiety.

[lourocks in reply to Delanna]

This girl has been nothing but great to be we are both in our 40s its that my x wife cheated in our house and even though its been many years i still go back to that day she always says we are grown and i act like a kid she is right i just wish i could relax and enjoy before i ruin this

[Delanna in reply to lourocks]

I understand you fear.

People cheat sure. But guess what some are loyal .

You have more love to give . Life is short . Enjoy wish you well

[lourocks in reply to Delanna]

Thank you s0 much this anxiety really can take over and destroy things i wish u peace and love in your journey

[Delanna in reply to lourocks]

Anxiety could destroy . Love could heal. Peace my friend

[Flintridge]

I know it's really hard when your mind is filled with scary thoughts and all you want is reassurance but that reassurance can come with a really high price. I went through some of this early in my relationship with my husband. Like you, I recognized this could really hurt my relationship. From then on I told myself that I couldn't be asking for constant reassurance. It was a false sense of security I was giving myself which wasn't protecting me but hurting me. When you're feeling really anxious or worrying she's our cheating on you, I want you to reassure yourself that she loves you and that your relationship is important to you. Then get busy doing something, anything! To get your mind off of the worrying. This is going to take a leap of faith but I promise it'll get easier and as time goes on you'll learn to trust.

[lourocks in reply to Flintridge]

Thank you so much and you are so right i just statred yesterday with her ussaly call a hundred times she has a long commute not in some of the greatest neighborhoods i worry she gets mad when i call excessive so yesterday she left at 5pm i didnt text or call she called me then actually invited me over yesterday which was unexpected and awesome i know this us a small step but last month i would of called s0 much she would of got mad.

[Flintridge in reply to lourocks]

You're welcome! Good for you! Keep doing what you're doing, I promise it'll get easier in time. It sounds like when you don't call her so much, it actually pays off as she wants to spend time with you, so that's a really good incentive.

[lourocks in reply to Flintridge]

You're so right she always says to let her have a chance to miss me she says we are both grown adults and to old to play games she is right we are not teenagers just thoes bad events cling to me but i'm starting counseling tomrrow im excited i hope thoes will help with my seoeration axiety