Petrified of being anywhere alone?!

[Layla321]

Happy weekend lovely people x

My husband is away for The Weekend for work and I absolutely dread it as my anxiety is at its worse. Say I fall out of the bath and knock myself out? Say i faint on the sofa?. I hate being alone. I woke up forced myself to go to the gym now I’m home all alone and my thoughts are my worse enemy. I would rather be at work teaching than being alone. It’s like I can hear every pinch in my heart my head my belly. Than my mind does crazy things like I will die alone.

My question is Anyone else hate their own company? The need to be around people so it’s a distraction. I don’t need a grocery shop but Im thinking of going to the supermarket to “kill time” unfortunately I live super far from my family and loved ones and when my husband is out of town it’s literally me and my 💭 thoughts. I wish I can just enjoy chilling at home myself but my anxiety takes away that joy and I’m constantly craving to be around anyone.

[mysmugcat]

Can you distract yourself in another way, say with a good book etc? Just a thought. The likelihood of those things happen is slim as I suspect you know. Getting out on a little trip might be nice for you even to the supermarket. Do you have meds?

[Layla321 in reply to mysmugcat]

Hi thanks for your reply, no I don’t take meds for my anxiety. I have chronic palpitations and I am on medication to reduce those from my cardiologist. I’m so anti medication and annoyed I have to take those for ectopic beats and I don’t want to add another medicine, I start a good book than my mind wonders. Wish It wasn’t raining would have walked to the park it’s the need to see people around. Madness I know

[star68]

Hi, I always feel scared of being alone for the same reasons that you mentioned. I always though if I am home alone and I have a stroke, who is going to save me? or a heart attack? Maybe you can find friends in the Meet ups groups or locally, join a hobby for the week ends.

I am sure if you went out with a friend you will be distracted and when you get back home there will not many hours left to be alone.

Saying that we have to learn to be alone without fears, live it's very unpredictable. We cannot control destiny, things will happen and sadly we can't control them.

[Lm92]

I'm the same. My husband gets frustrated with me because he leaves very early for work (around 3 AM) and I can never sleep until he's home. It's worse during the week when my son is in school during the day. The problem is that I don't like to be around people I don't know. The compromise that I have found with that is that I'll do something like to go run errands (groceries, post office, etc), then I'll go to the library and find a cozy nook and read. That way it's quiet, but I also know I'm not alone. I also find the noise of pages turning and computer keyboards being used a relaxing sound so it works. I hope you find a place similar.

[Amarie37]

I know the feeling i’m the same way.

[Indigojoe]

Hi the weekend is over so you should be ok now.

Allow me to give you a counter point to your thoughts.

Im better alone.

My anxiety is preceded by my thoughts and I'm embarrassed to let anyone else know that I "get this way". It has been proven over time, many many years, that everything is fine.

There is no falling out of the tub, there is no fainting on the couch, there are no boogie men, or monsters under the bed.

I trust myself to figure it out when I am home alone.

This does not translate to when I am driving, on the highway or get lost.

It does translate to being home alone.

I can do what I want, I can watch what I want to and I find being home alone peaceful.

Not wanting to take medicine is part of the anxiety loop.

Let folks in this forum support you and ask your doc for an SSRI. Short term, so you can see that nothing scary ever happens in real time.

In the imagination, sure, but with meds the imagination of scary thoughts slips into the very back ground and seldom shows it's face.

Keep us posted.