"Why don't you just stop being anxious?"

[lala_b2018]

You know, sometimes I feel like people don't think anxiety is real. I think my favorite response to anxiety (and mental illnesses in general) is when people say "just stop worrying" or "just stop being sad"...I always want to say "if it was that easy, do you really think I would be in this position?" I think this entire concept of "just stop..." is ridiculous. I have had people tell me that I have anxiety and depression because i want attention from it. In all honesty, I want the exact opposite. I would rather people pay attention to the positives about me and not the negative. Anyone else have any opinions on this?

Sorry for the rant but sometimes I just get tired of keeping it all in.

[HearYou]

When my husband would say something about my anxiety a long time ago, I just responded, "What anxiety?" He doesn't understand my anxiety but now he accepts it.

Think if anyone else would say something now I'd still use that reply. Worked so well the first time.

[rustydog]

I get this a lot from people I know who have no understanding of mental health issues (including my own husband!) I get ‘Just relax, take deep breaths’ or ‘what have you got to worry about, your life is fine’, yeah, like anxiety/depression is selective!!

What really winds me up is when you read an article online or in a magazine by a so called expert and they say things like, “At night, just before you go to sleep, think of all your worries/anxieties and pop them in a mental box in your head, pop on the lid and there you go, worries all gone for the day” yeah right!!

[lala_b2018 in reply to rustydog]

Hahahaha that's the most bs advice ever! If I think of all my anxieties before going to bed, I'd never fall asleep! These "experts" tend to be idiots. If you read it in Cosmo or people magazine you know it's total crap. I think that stuff works for regular people but not those of us with true anxiety.

[Matt3013]

Hi Lala, nice to meet you. I think that a lot of the time people just don’t know what to say. I mean for me people kind of avoid any comment of conversation and it kind of becomes the elephant in the room. I honestly think that unless you have suffered with anxiety or depression it is so hard to know what it’s like. X

[lala_b2018 in reply to Matt3013]

I completely agree with all of that. But I feel like a lot of people don't even try to understand it. And if you're going to be in my life, you've got to try and at least understand it...read up on it and whatnot. I can't stand when people ask to me explain it...because anxiety can be so different day to day.

[lala_b2018]

Exactly! And my mom and ex boyfriend told me the same thing. They don't understand that it's not me being immature....it's me being hyper-aware and worried.

[Hidden]

That's along the lines of people thinking there is no real problem and we're just crazy and want attention. Is anyone supporting you? My wife doesn't even take me seriously.

[lala_b2018 in reply to Hidden]

My closest friends and my mom are very supportive. I'm sorry to hear your wife doesn't support you, I can't imagine that. My ex was very unsupportive and pretty much just thought I was doing it for attention. It's very hurtful .

[Kainan]

Yeah like I would want more attention. I’m already hyper aware of my surroundings feeling as if everyone is watching me. The last thing I would want is someone pulling me aside and asking if I was alright

[lala_b2018 in reply to Kainan]

Exactly, I don't think people really get that though. I think this also stems from people that say "oh I'm so depressed/anxious" and they really are doing it just for attention. I think this follows along with suicide...those who are actually going to commit suicide do not generally boast about it. People that threaten suicide and talk about it, tend to be the ones doing it for attention.

[happyjackandjoan]

he ok keep way vaccine at school show one have do not learn ward

[Gidget1]

As I just stated to someone else, unsolicited advice is criticism. Think about it.

I like the one- don’t “should” on me.

You should just stop worrying

You should just smile

Yada Yada Yada.........

[Celtic27]

Hi lala you hit the nail on the head anxiety is a very real condition which can be dibilitating and affect a person's ability to function in there daily life! Ignorance is the biggest hurdle a person with anxiety will face! I just wish people would take the time to understand what anxiety is and help those close to them instead of telling them to pull together! Take care and all the best for dealing with your anxiety david

[Sunshine1968]

Hi Lala,

I suffer from anxiety since I was a child, my mother has so much anxiety she is very negative and paranoid as well, I told her to get medical help but she never did (she is like that since I can remember), I have a daughter she is 24 and she struggles with anxiety.

I am doing fine most of the time because I treat it medically, in fact some people are anxious and some people are not, in my family there is a strong genetic componant.