Log in
Anxiety Support
37,351 members40,516 posts

Stressed to the max

So I have posted on here before about my fiancé and his ex and custody. The other day he tried to sit down with her to try and get her to have some compassion and compromise and well it went no where she refused every suggestion we made to her. Since the court had ruled on the custody it states that he is not allowed to move more then 25 miles from his current location I live 30 miles from his house and his ex will not give us the extra 5 miles refused to let either one of us drive there daughter anywhere. I have two children of my own and a house that is big enough for all of us I don’t want to move out of my house to be within the 25 miles. My rent is cheap and my house is comfortable and my kids love it here. It seems like if his ex is going to still have control then we are never going to be able move forward. How are we suppose to ever plan a wedding or move in with each other if he can’t move here? I’m so tired of the drama but I love him to death he is everything I always wanted but I can’t keep being put on the back burner. I feel like I should give up she wins. She’s doesn’t want him but doesn’t want him to have his own life. What do I do?

2 Replies

Aye 😒. My friend is doing the same thing out of bitterness and jealousy. Sounds like she has unresolved feelings? If she didn’t want him she would want him to be happy. Or maybe she feels like a failure and is holding it out on him. Kill her with kindness? I’m not sure... I’m watching my friend do the same and it makes me crazy that she’s treating the new girlfriend this way... hang in there... things can change so quickly.


One word: Lawyer. Second word: Marriage. (Reply from a lawyer)

Some pieces of the puzzle missing in your post. Why did judge order the 25-mile limit?

Remember in family court the child's best interests and welfare come first.

What if you dump this man in two weeks or he, you? The courts have seen "girlfriends and boyfriends" come and go with single parents.

Even though you feel you have a logical reason for the 5-mile change so your SO can live with you, not certain court will believe that having him and his daughter living with you is sufficient basis for change as you are not married. May consider it not a morally acceptable reason for him to make change in his order.

Know this is not an issue with you or your SO, it is with the courts.

So, continue as is if you intend to see if you have a real future with this man the way things are. Marriage versus living together sometimes makes a big difference in family court matters. Or if this as important as you think it is, you may need to make the change and move within the court ordered limits.

We love with our hearts, but must think with our brains. If the current situation is too difficult for you, how will you feel if you marry this man and the court doesn't change the distance even then?

I wish you the best, but have seen a case when one parent was granted to maintain primary home custody when she moved 4 hours away for a better occupation, but she had to fly the children to the father's home every weekend. Not a winner for anyone.


You may also like...