Do you think the anniversary of a traumatic event can cause a lot of anxiety and depressed symptoms ?

[Jmerrick22]

I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown almost. November 22nd of last year I had the worse panic attack of my life. I can remember ever second almost in my head. The feeling of dying, loosing all control , thinking oh my god this is it , nearly passing out, shaking uncontrollably, feeling trapped like there was no way out. I drive for 25 minutes while this all was happening. Then I came home, and that's when it increased in severity. I called 911 for an ambulance because I thought either I'm having a heart attack or something's not right. I'm 24. The past two or three weeks I've been under a lot of stress. I travel 120 miles a day to work round trip , and thank god I got a job close to home now that I start in a week but still. I don't know what's wrong with me . I feel very depersonalized, I have all kinds of weird thoughts especially the what ifs. Like what If I snap out what if I try and hurt myself , what if I can't handle all this , what if I lose my job etc etc etc. I'm on Prozac and was on 20 but the dr upped it to 30, and I just don't know it feels like I'm worse I mean it's been a day on 30 mg but still. I'm so afraid of loosing control and like omg what if I do something I regret. I'm calling to get a dr appt or establish with a psych tomorrow because I just can't handle this. I'm debating do I go to the hospital , do I wait to get in with a psych ? I'm scared of a psych ward I'm not crazy just struggling alittle right now . Yesterday I went to An auction and I took .5 mg of Ativan and felt much better, but today sucks. Idk to take .5 Ativan again or what. Shit sucks. Any advice anyone ? I appreciate it all

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I know its hard because it's hard for me to do also, but just keep saying to yourself I can do this I can do anything instead of asking yourself what if. Think of the positive things in your life. Your new job closer to Home for example.

[Agora1]

Jmerrick22, I'm sure the anniversary of a traumatic event can cause anxiety and depression to surface. The thing is remembering every second in your head is causing you to relive it as if it were happening all over again. That's the part that is not healthy. As time goes by, I'm hoping the strong memories and sensations of that day will fade enough for you not to remember so vividly.

I've had some pretty horrific ones in my life especially at the beginning of my anxiety. But now when I think back there is no emotional response to that thought. It is safely tucked away in the past. Sometimes when the struggle gets to be too much for us, the hospital can be a safe place to be where you can get intense therapy and medication to stabilize your feelings. I knew when the time was right for myself in needing help, more than weekly therapy could give me. It was the best decision I could have made. It doesn't mean we are crazy or we wouldn't know that we needed help. It just means it is becoming too painful to do this on our own.

You seem to have a lot of "what ifs" right now and that is certainly making you run in circles. I hope you get the appointment with your psych doctor. Listen to his advice and weigh his options carefully. I wish you well. I can imagine you watching the clock as the hours tick by to the 22nd of November. Remember this Jmerrick, it was only another day in the year. It wasn't a curse, it doesn't mean it will ever happen again. Once this Wednesday comes and goes w/o an event, please push that thought out of your mind. You deserve to start fresh.