Anxious

[Anxiously1]

I was having a good day and then it turned bad. I got so anxious that I gave my boyfriend of 8 years my engagement ring back. I'm wondering...was this for the best??

[kevoreally]

Okay now I have questions 1. If today was a good day why give the ring back? 2. What caused you to be anxious 3. Why give up because your anxious? 4. What causes your anxiety aka what triggers you? 5. We cant tell you whats right and wrong we can only advise you as a council with advice wether you take it or not is totally up to you.. tbh 8 years and today being a good day and you handing the ring back makes no sense.. thats my honest opinoon now if i got the questions i asked above answered i can give better clearer advice but remember we cannot say whats good or bad because your the one in the relationship

[Anxiously1 in reply to kevoreally]

Hello yes it was a good day. I stayed so couped up in the house and I finally got out and went a couple of places with my family. Then all of a sudden I got really tired and anxious. When I saw my boyfriend he got into an argument with me. Arguing triggers my anxiety a lot! I didn't want to argue. Then I began to have a panic attack. I run from mine all the time!! So I got scared and gave the ring back.

[kevoreally in reply to Anxiously1]

So your letting anxiety rule your love life you have been with him for 8 years and you got anxious and all sudden its quits time? Do not give up on your relationship because of your anxiety does your fiance know about your feelings about arguing? Does he know about the anxiety and fighting?

[Anxiously1 in reply to kevoreally]

Yes he does. But I try to walk away from confrontation. Because I know that it triggers the anxiety. I don't know what to do.

[kevoreally in reply to Anxiously1]

You talk with him what is the argument about if you dont mind me asking? Because a lot of my arguments are because of me being stubborn and thick headed they are very easy fixes but im just so stubborn and so thats why i fight with my fiance and she hates it but why dont you discuss with him have a sit down and lay everything out and see what happens make sure you say calmly if things get uptight be like listen im very anxious and fighting makes me feel worse i do not want to fight i want to be able to speak like adults so please lets not argue

[Anxiously1 in reply to kevoreally]

Sometimes we fight about sex. And I am stubborn also. But he has to understand that when I'm feeling anxious I really don't want to be bothered with. Is that a bad thing???

[kevoreally in reply to Anxiously1]

Does he want sex all the time? Guys are just like that a lot your feelings should come first if hes being selfish and wants what he wants when he wants it then that's unacceptable and you could be subconsciously making the choice to end the relationship do you want to be married to a sefish person?

[Anxiously1 in reply to kevoreally]

No h doesn't want it all the time. Maybe like twice a week.

[kevoreally in reply to Anxiously1]

So then whats the argument about sex? Sorry i know personal

[Anxiously1 in reply to kevoreally]

We don't live together because I'm not really ready for that so when he goes a week a two without seeing me he gets an attitude when I don't want to have sex. And honestly this past week I have been so anxious that I don't want to have sex.

[kevoreally in reply to Anxiously1]

Sounds to me he lost sight of whats important in the relationship guys tend to do that and need to be placed in line sometimes so if him not getting any action is pissing him off then he lost sight and his mind is only on you and him having sex thats no longer love thats LUST get his ass back in line straighten him out and tell him you want sex i want to be supported in how i feel and if he doesnt like it then your subconscious did the right thing if he fixes the issue at hand you can reward him my fiance and I take breaks from anything sexual sometimes because i get clouded judgement and love having sex its just a guy thing but if he truly cares he puts it off and works with your feelings instead of working with his dick..

[Anxiously1 in reply to kevoreally]

Lol but the thing is that he made this comment of...I've been walking around hard for the past week or so! So me I laughed but not at the comment. I laughed because it made me think like ok we haven't seen each other and all you want is sex...so he took it the wrong way and got mad like I was laughing at the comment about being hard. Then it just blew up into a argument and I had a panic attack and gave him back the ring and told him to take me home.

[Anxiously1 in reply to Anxiously1]

Well seems like my ex fiance or whatever won't talk to me after being together for 8 years. Is it best for me to move on or to fight for my relationship.

[kevoreally]

Also to be clear sometimes my posts come off like im judging or being a jerk or sarcastic I want to be clear that my intentions are pure and im trying to help not make things worse or make you feel jusged

[CSmidge]

I have done things like this before with my anxiety, i got so anxious once it came out in anger and i threw my commitment ring, slammed the door and told him to F* Off. He later seen me and grabbed me and i just sobbed. I was so weak at this point. He understood though that id just become overwhelmed with things

[Anxiously1 in reply to CSmidge]

Aww. That just makes me want to cry!! I wish my fiance would talk to me but after I gave him back the ring he said he hopes the best for me!

[CSmidge in reply to Anxiously1]

Its hurtful. Imagine your fiance gave u your ring back. Its a bit of a kick in the balls. He did throw the situation in my face a few times afterwards. Im sure after 8 years you can sit and talk with him. You talk he listens.

Anxiety can have you do some crazy things when your in crisis. I am currently signed off work as my anxiety is bad which flares up my IBS and everything else. Its shit

[Anxiously1 in reply to CSmidge]

I have been out of work for a year from my anxiety. I left my job of 9 years because it got in the way. All I did was cry.

[CSmidge in reply to Anxiously1]

Have you had any CPT Counselling? Also body massage and reiki treatments helped me ALOT

[Anxiously1 in reply to CSmidge]

I have had CPT counseling. And it did help but then I had to stop cause I couldn't afford it. So I went to YouTube and started meditation and that helps sometimes

[CSmidge in reply to Anxiously1]

Meditation is good. I just find it hard to focus.

Some reiki practitioners dont charge and work off donations.

[Anxiously1 in reply to CSmidge]

Ok I will try that technique.