I have 3 grown sons (they're in Bristol, I'm in Hampshire) who I adore with every ounce of my being. I am proud of the way I brought them up and equally as proud of how they have turned out. We are very close.
I find it impossible to talk to them or share my problems and illness. In my mind I will not and cannot let them see or hear from me when I am like this. I feel this illness I have is betraying them and in turn I have betrayed them.
I know their real father and he is their heroe. The man I am, the man that carries this sickness, he is not their father.
But it breaks my heart and who needs that along with the mental suffering. I am not religious but I pray they know how much I love them.
Does anyone share this problem?