Social Anxiety Struggles

[Nicki1984]

Hi all I'm struggling to make sense of my social anxiety issues. I'm 33 and my daughter started primary school 3 weeks ago. Since she started I've felt quite confident in myself and found being around others at drop off and pick up easy I've found smiling and being friendly coming naturally and become quite chatty with one of the mums. I kept thinking should I invite her over for a coffee (I don't know anyone in our village and really want a friend!) but thought it's too soon don't want to seem wierd of desperate. Anyway this morning as normal chatting to the mum waiting outside and another mum bounded over to her asking if they are still on for Friday to go round for a play date. Felt very uncomfortable and didn't know where to look I feel silly feel like I've missed the boat and now have lost my confidence. Just wanted a friend but now feel if I ask it's only because someone else did ahhh feeling stupid xx

[mysmugcat]

I do understand but if you don't ask you don't get sometimes. The lady you want to ask may be shy too?

[Pinkkim85]

Still ask her, I'm sure she will

[Nicki1984 in reply to Pinkkim85]

Thanks both I know I need to get over it. Trying to understand why I react the way I do it's like self sabotage! Going to ask next week if they want to play date in half term she can only say no but at least I've tried x

[mysmugcat in reply to Nicki1984]

Hi Nicki1984. It's not easy. Have you ever read the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway?! by Susan Jeffers?! Ask the lady. If she doesn't say yes which she probably will, ask someone else! Do you want a coffee or a play date or you don't mind?!

[Nicki1984 in reply to mysmugcat]

Thanks will have a look for the book x

[Nicki1984 in reply to mysmugcat]

I've ordered the book! Been up to the school since and it's not as bad as I thought. It obviously triggered something in me that I need to work on. X

[mysmugcat in reply to Nicki1984]

Good. You can check the library for these type of books too.