Tired of waking up to FEAR every morning! - Anxiety Support

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Tired of waking up to FEAR every morning!

kama24 profile image
49 Replies

As soon as I am awake the cold flush of FEAR washes over me. It was not there when I went to sleep. It usually lasts most of the day but does sometimes lessen near 5pm each day. It is not a feeling of worry or anxiety, it is FEAR! Of what you ask? I honestly find it difficult to label it....fear of fear, fear of death, fear of what might happen to me health wise. I'm so tired of this. Sorry I had to vent. My poor family hears it all too often so I took it hear today.

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kama24
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49 Replies
Nicole8631 profile image
Nicole8631

Hello! I too fear from fear and it's sooo annoying but you should have an attitude towards it try to be stronger than anxiety! Trust me i know what is to wake up like that and having no idea what's going on! Try to not answer your thoughts when you questioning everything i always shut down my inner voice . Hope it helps! Be strong!

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to Nicole8631

Thank you so much for sharing. I try to hard to reason things our logically but always to no avail. In a small way it helps to know that I'm not alone in this. I will continue to battle on.

Nicole8631 profile image
Nicole8631 in reply to kama24

i feel you .. at night im always logical.. so annoying. Then in the morning i'm a mess again 🙄

Nicole8631 profile image
Nicole8631 in reply to kama24

i feel you .. at night im always logical.. so annoying. Then in the morning i'm a mess again 🙄

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to Nicole8631

you nailed that right on the head.....and the FEAR is worse when I'm alone....it sort of makes you just shake your head!!

maegoid profile image
maegoid

Lately, I've felt that way too. My mom always says that it's harder in the morning, but it does get better as the day goes by. I have mild anxiety about my health too. In fact, I've had it since I was a child, it went away for years, then came back. But you know what I've learned? That anxiety is just a temporary stage. You CAN get over this bump! What I found really helpful is, deep breathing (5 seconds in, hold for 2, let go for 5) which help you clear your mind, and challenging my thoughts. Ask yourself, "Why do I feel this way?" "What causes me to feel so fearful?" instead of giving in to those negative thoughts. It might not help you, but I found that challenging my thoughts helps me to realize that I'M in control, not the anxiety. And trust me, about your health, I'm positive that you are completely, 100% healthy! Just keep regular exercise and and a balanced diet, try your best to control stress and you don't really have anything to worry about! Hope this helps you!

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to maegoid

I too have battle since childhood, but did for many years seem to have some years of leading a normal life. This full blown situation started up exactly 2 years ago this month. I have no idea why, and as hard as I try I can't stop the FEAR. I talk to myself often throughout the day....as I tell my dr. I am logical enough to know I'm being illogical. Thank you for your encouraging words. I keep active daily with a local animal rescue, though I do all my work from home. I do think that for me the FEAR is being caused by the fact I'm getting older and am "in the bullet zone" of life, though I reason out that many young and very young pass on. I fear the act of dying, and although my husband tells me we have no control over our demise (which is true) that it could end up being very quick and no suffering. I wake each morning and hope I will NOT think of the worse case scenario. I will keep battling.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Hi kama24, Mornings are so difficult for many because the Cortisol levels are so high preparing you for the new day. The thing with anxiety is that that rush of adrenaline causes us to wake up in total fear of what the upcoming day holds for us. It's nothing in particular, possibly nothing will go on today, but it's the anticipation of the possibility of the "what if"...Ironically it doesn't make sense to the average person who jumps out of bed and looks forward to a new day, new adventures, new conquests. Ugh....Too exciting, too stimulating for an anxious person to even think about.

So, yes it is the time of day which is most stressful for some and as the day goes on, the adrenaline levels drop. Enough so, that by evening we are feeling pretty good, pretty normal again. But the whole day was wasted on worrying :(

This can be worked on. I use my headphones and meditate and deep breathe each morning upon waking up. When I do get out of bed, I smile and say "I'm Back World" kinda puts me in control once more. xx

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to Agora1

Yes, I had an ultra sound done 2 months ago and it showed up a growth on my one adrenal gland. I await seeing an endocrinologist. Unfortunately I won't get in until Dec. I am terrified of surgery, being put under, staying in a hospital. I'm sort of in a mess! Today the FEAR was bad until about 5pm. Yes, it's the anticipation of what might happen. So true. I am severely allergic to contrast dye for a CAT scan, and am worrying it will be suggested. Yes, I know they can give benedryl or prednisone pre the scan, but what if it doesn't help. This time the reaction could be even worse. You are so right....the average person has no idea what it is like to awake to "fear" By 5pm tonight I felt less scared. I awake and wonder "is this the day I will die?". How morbid and pathetic. I do reason with myself but it seems to be useless. I battle on.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to kama24

And that's all we can do kama24, go on with each day, don't stay stuck as afraid as you may be. I didn't realize the Endo appointment wasn't until December. The hospital will not take any chances with a patient. You couldn't be in better hands then being in a hospital setting. But yet I know we get more anxious than the average patient does.

They will ask you a hundred questions before surgery, the anesthesiologist will personally come in to see you and that is the time to tell him of your fears and that you have chronic anxiety. Knowing that, he will be better able to sedate you properly to comfort you. Think of it as your escape for a short time where anxiety can't bother you. As you get closer to the date, don't forget the forum will be here to comfort you and be by your side for support.

Meanwhile, use us to express your worries and concerns regarding the wait. It will be interesting if after the surgery, your anxiety disappears. Take care and remember to Breathe deeply, slowly and daily. xx

kama24 profile image
kama24

yes, I dread hospitals, and feel "trapped" when in one, I don't even like to visit people there. The last time was 15 yrs ago I was in for 4 nights. I had a full blown panic attack in the middle of the night and it was even worse as I didn't have my husband to console me. I know we now have to meet with the anesthesiologist prior to surgery. I am half wishing they can control the cortisol with meds. Yes I certainly intend to confess my embarrassing problem with them. I would gladly pay someone I know to stay with me lol I'm worse than most children! I am currently trying tapping for anxiety....no help yet but it can't hurt. I never thought I'd end up being a terrified old woman lol It is a tad embarrassing. Thank you for your support.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to kama24

kama24, there are a lot of people who like yourself want more than just the nurses on duty. They want to feel there is someone with them at all times. Because of this, I started my own business 15 years ago within the city I live in. I knew there was a need for people needing emergency respite care, child care and adult care until families could find a permanent solution.

I started my OnCall 24/7 service. I started where I was the only one providing this service so it was only for hours to 1 day (2 the max) Business built up as people needed someone they could call in a pinch and I was that person with a medical background. I now have 2 women who work for me. You might be able to call the hospital you will be in and ask if they could arrange a "sitter" for you. You won't need anyone with medical experience since you will be in the hospital. You just want someone there for comfort.

Good Luck in finding someone. xx

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to Agora1

Thank you for your excellent suggestion. All I would want someone with me for is "reassurance" basically. I appreciate you taking the time to reply!

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to kama24

Good Luck kama24. Keeping you in my thoughts xx

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to Agora1

You are very kind, thank you!

mimij profile image
mimij in reply to kama24

Kama24 I am severely claustrophobic and I was told to get surgery done for ankle ligament. In my fear I put of the surgery for a good year or so further damaging my ankle. In the end I just told myself what had to happen will happen. Discuss with your doctor. They give anti anxiety pill prior to the surgery. It helped me loads. I was in hospital for 4 days but once you're in the situation, strength somehow comes to you, know what I mean? Good luck.

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to mimij

Thank you so very much for sharing. I am also claustrophobic of small spaces. My family says to me....iffffffff removal of this growth could help, why are you considering saying "no"??? Very logical point! I just pray it doesn't grow from now until Dec. if and when I get in. A few close friends have told me they would give me something prior to surgery for the fear. I would be having a talk with both the surgeon and the anesthesiologist first. Hubby keeps saying "maybe no surgery"....well a growth is not normal so I cannot see them leaving it. At my age you would think I'd be braver and accept my situation.

mimij profile image
mimij in reply to kama24

Ah no age has nothing to do with bravery. And who says you're not breve. Fighting with anxiety on a daily basis is a constant battle. But you're doing it. And we have capable so immense strength once we face a situation. Good luck! 👍🏻😊

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to mimij

Thank you for responding. I don't feel very brave when the fear makes me shake, my teeth chatter and I cry. I feel like a failure, cannot even act my age. I just keep on trying to overcome the awful feelings that consume me.

Snap ~this is me also ~I suffer terrible with morning anxiety ~I always wake early in any case and spend that hour or so worrying ( even if I've nothing to worry about)

Once I'm up and about must admit it eases off ~but any little thing during the day can trigger off panic/anxiety ~just wish there was a magic button to switch it off!! I have Propranolol to take if it all gets too much ~but rarely take it ( not a fan of meds)

Hope your day goes well🤗

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to

Thanks for sharing. It helps in a way to know I'm not totally alone. It is sad when certain people suggest we are being "ridiculous" and to just snap out of it. They have not walked in our shoes. It is also worse when I am alone and hubby is gone away. I keep the radio on and try to keep busy and not think.....not always easy either.

in reply to kama24

Early morning anxiety is so awful ~I try and meditate if I can and use morning meditation it does help but that feeling of dread on waking is a nightmare ~the dark mornings are the worst for me ~luckily it doesn't affect my work ~in fact once I'm busy it takes my mind off things ~but as I said before it doesn't take much to trigger off panic/anxiety ~what a life eh?😥

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to

I know we should be thankful we DO wake each morning but lucky us, anxiety awakens too! Once the time goes back an hour it will be dark by 5pm here, I prefer the sunlight. We are the "unique" ones. All we can do it try to take it one day at a time!

in reply to kama24

Yep that is very true ~I sometimes feel ashamed of myself when I think of all the troubles going on in the world ~ it's good to count out blessings ~Hope tomorrow is a good day for you

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to

I mentally go over all the people I personally know of with major health issued and those for example in nursing homes and think how lucky I really am.

in reply to

Soz that should have said our blessings ~ goodnight to everyone on this site and I wish you all well 🌞

krista1980 profile image
krista1980

Same here. Mornings are worse for me! It stops me going to work sometimes. Well most of the time then im miserable because im letting others down! But as the day progresses im feeling so much better and can do anything! I take citalopram 20mg which ive been on for 4yrs and pregabalin 50mg twice a day which ive been on for just a month. I do want to stop all the meds but its not the right time. Until im in the right place i will have to carry on taking.

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to krista1980

Hi, I truly understand. I don't think I could hold down a daily job. I guess I'm lucky I'm a senior! I take luvox, bormazapam, and teva something! I hate meds and wish I could get off them. When really in a very bad way I take an Ativan. I only use them IF realllllly bad. The do give me a bit of relief.

Ada-1 profile image
Ada-1

Hi have you started any medication, am on setraline and it is helping. Try drinking green tea and pray you will be ok

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to Ada-1

I was on Paxil for 18 yrs and it worked great...then started to fade off...so I went off it totally (withdrawal over the month was HORRIBLE). I've not been "normal" since and its 2 yrs now. I take 3 diff medications and still have the fear and continuous thoughts about death.....always comes back to that...and I don't know why....I think it's because I realize I'm up in the "bullet zone" of life.

PhillyW profile image
PhillyW

Hi there, I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way but be assured of a few things. You are not alone with this feeling. The feeling of fear will not hurt you. Most importantly, it won't last forever. The first steps to getting over it is accepting it. Fear is just an emotion, the same as anger or joy or sadness. The only difference is it doesn't feel very nice! However like I say, it is just a feeling, just an emotion, just a thought. It cannot hurt you.

When you wake up on a morning and feel fear, lie still. Take some slow breaths, not deep just normal, but concentrate on the feeling of the breath. Put all your awareness into the breath. Feel your chest rise and fall, your stomach rise and fall, the air passing your nostrils in and out. Then calmly examine your fear. Don't fight it. Don't try to push it away. If you can, welcome it like an old friend. "Oh hi again!" And just label it in your mind "thinking" or "feeling". Concentrate on your breath again for another minute. Give the fear some space, but don't push it away.

Acceptance is the key to recovery. Accept that fear is part of life. Just like happiness. It is there for a reason, to protect you. To look after you. To prevent you harming yourself. So look on it as a kindly thing.

I recommend reading anxietynomore.co.uk although you are having fear issues, it may really help you out.

Good luck x

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to PhillyW

Hi, you are right when I think of fear as an emotion...like others. Mine can last 24 hrs believe it or not. I'm surprised it can go that long. Thank you very much for your suggestions. Tomorrow morning I will give it a try. I am open to anything. Our family dr. seems to think the lump on my adrenal gland is giving out too much cortisol and of course that is secreated when you wake. It is good to have others who understand.

PhillyW profile image
PhillyW in reply to kama24

Hey, how's it going? How're you doing?

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to PhillyW

Good morning, Thanks for asking. I could respond, "I've been worse, I've been better". The mornings are the worse as I wake with the feeling of "fear". I do believe it is my cortisol levels due to the growth they found on my adrenal gland. The dreaded feeling eases off as the day passes & 5pm seems to be "the magic hour". I know that if and when they tell me I need surgery I will be "out of control" with fear. The saying goes "hind sight is 20/20", I wish now I'd never gone off Paxil 2 yrs ago. No, I would never go back on it after the terrible withdrawal I went through. I think most of us just take it one day at a time & keep hoping it improves.

I'm sorry I can't help you because I have the same thing. I'm sitting here crying right now. I've been to psychiatrists and therapists. I'm really scared. If you find anything please let me know.

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to

I am so sorry.......did you ever ask your dr. for blood work to check your cortisol level or for an abdominal ultra sound, particularly of the adrenal glands? I also had a CAT scan that showed up the small "mass". I truly feel for you I wish our city had a support group for people with panic but it doesn't...it has groups for every other addiction and disorder . Did you ever enquire about going to CBT classes? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? I went, and did learn some coping routines but I'll be honest.....I still battle the fear. Take care.

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to

Try keeping the radio on low in the back ground or doing something that makes you work your brain, like games puzzels, crochet, knitting, I so feel for you.

Thank you! I appreciate your suggestions

levymaria profile image
levymaria

This was me months ago.... every morning it would be this overwhelming feeling of fear that would come over my body... I’m still dealing with anxiety and depression today

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to levymaria

I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. I often wonder why some of us are like this and others are so fortunate. I don't deal with depression but truly have empathy for you. Sometimes I get "better" days and try to make the most of them. Being alone seems to increase the fear.

levymaria profile image
levymaria in reply to kama24

I began to suffer after the birth of my daughter... which is so ironic such a beautiful blessing but little did I know that depression would try to take over

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to levymaria

I know many do have postpartum depression. I truly hope that as time goes by you feel better

levymaria profile image
levymaria in reply to kama24

Thank you I hope so too

caitsxxx1 profile image
caitsxxx1

Oh dear I'm the same ATM waking up every morning with intense dread like I'm gonna die any second and intense fear makes it hard to live hope u get better soon ur not alone xx

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to caitsxxx1

Yes, intense dread or fear of what if....and that I am going to die. Here is what they said when I attended CBT classes about it. "Have you died yet?" "No, so you will get through the feelings and you are not going to die!". True, we have not died yet from whatever it is that causes us fear, and we can use that thought to try to get us through it, but it is really difficult most of the time!

caitsxxx1 profile image
caitsxxx1 in reply to kama24

Thanks for that it has gave me some hope it's just sometimes hard to accept when you have those ugly butterfly's in your tummy I've not moved from my bed for days now because of this feeling it makes me depressed it's honestly horrible 😑 Hopefully we get over it soon x

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to caitsxxx1

I'm so sorry you are in a bad way right now. My mother used to always say "tomorrow is another day". and really it is! I have a friend who, when depressed stays in bed, doesn't eat properly, doesn't shower etc & finds she just has to "ride out the storm". It's not easy to be in the eye of the hurricane! Can you try playing music so you don't feel as alone? When it is very bad can you try to practice "mindfulness"? Look around, count how many items are rectangular, round, how many different colours in the room. Once when I had to have a MRI done ( I HATE small spaces) I started the alphabet and letter by letter named words that started with each letter. Don't get me wrong, when I'm in dire straights and battling FEAR even I can't think myself straight!!! All we can do is try.

caitsxxx1 profile image
caitsxxx1 in reply to kama24

Thanks so much for your reply all trey these things xx

kama24 profile image
kama24 in reply to caitsxxx1

Good morning. Another "exercise" they mentioned in CBT class. While you are sitting or laying in bed, if panic hits try the 5 thought technique. It is supposed to help take your mind off your situation (not that it does much at times). 1. look around you and name 5 things you SEE. 2. then name 5 things you can TOUCH 3. then name 5 things you can HEAR. 4 (now these last 2 I find difficult so I use my imagination), name 5 things you can smell 5. name 5 things you can taste.

I woke this morning with a "fist" of fear in my stomach> I wish there was a on/off button for this thing in my brain. It still amazes me that at my age I cannot just accept it or control it.

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