Day 6 since it happened....

[Clarita83]

It's been 6 days now since a severe panic attack ( I assume that is what that was) happened to me. Since then, day after day, it seems I am dealing with something new. There are moments of clarity where the feeling of " I will be ok" save me. But then comes morning time and night time. The day in between morning and night are bearable dare I even say " normal".

Two days ago I started to wake up already in a panic mode as soon as my body realised it was awake. The irrational fears ( nothing in particular just a sense of fear) hit hard and everything felt hopeless but I knew once the day started it would subside. Yesterday around 5pm it felt like I was about to hyperventilate and that at any moment I would get thrown into another attack- only the latter happened. Felt like my mind was losing it and my body went hot with adrenaline. I wanted to run, to get in the car and go, but that thought itself terrified me. Then my partner arrived home and I felt a little better having company. I felt normal again for a while. But inside of me the knowledge brewed that night time is drawing nearer and it isn't something to be enjoyed considering the past week, so expecting the bad that came with sleep concerned me.

The night again was horrible. Constant weird breathing and wild head thump trying to sleep. Almost as if my head has a heart that thumps right before sleeping that sends a chain reaction that something is very wrong.

Feels like any day now it'll get extreme to the point I will have to turn to medication once again.....

[Jodz]

It's just terrible this bloody Anxiety and panic attacks . Hang in there your not alone . Mine has come back with a vengeance. Hate it

[Clarita83 in reply to Jodz]

Thank you Jodz. I agree, this is the worst. I hope that reading stories on here or getting to write your own helps you get through this one. Remember it has happened before and you eventually get better. I am slowly getting there myself.

[Agora1]

Clarita83, before turning to medication, try Meditation and Deep Breathing. I go to sleep and wake up in listening to a tape while deep breathing. It provides quality sleep and helps with the morning anxiety caused from high levels of cortisol in the am.

The feelings of fear at night come on sub-consciously as you become aware of the time of the evening and the fear of the next morning. Starting the cycle all over again. Hope you give it a try. In the mid afternoon I turn to YouTube and watch and listen to a 10 min video on Meditation and deep breathing. Worth a try.. x

[Clarita83 in reply to Agora1]

Thanks again Agora1 =) When I first wrote this thread I was about getting ready to just give in. The reason being that the two courses of meds I was taking at one point during my last break down ( I call it that for some reason, it feels like it fit very well that first time) was a combination of Zoloft and at night time a prescription sleep aid. It's the sleep aid I want to get into because I keep fearing getting to that point like before where I had to get on it. Plus, horrible sleep. Sort of like nipping it in the bud, so to speak. If memory serves well, the sleep aid didn't take away the head zaps the first time but it definitely allowed me to sleep straight through it.

But thank you for bringing up a more natural idea of getting through this. Since you have posted this reply to me I have been in touch with a naturopath practitioner and will go this route. More on that at a later time when there is an update.

As for the mornings, you are right. Thank you for reminded me to remind myself that it is an imbalance and that nothing bad is really happening. I too tried the soothing noises at night time, the spontaneous head thump and weird breath that accompanies it didn't care. Here is to hoping tonight is a tad more bearable...if not, I might get an over the counter sleep aid. Before even reading your reply I had been working on erasing the idea of things happening at " certain times" to avoid that vicious cycle.

[tamka38]

What medication did u try?

[Clarita83 in reply to tamka38]

Hi tamka38. After discussing everything with my psychologist when I had severe anxiety 3 years ago, she was patient with me in deciding not to go on meds. But eventually my mental health deteriorated to the point I could not fix it myself and counselling wasn't helping so decided to try to be aided by a medicine. She recommended Zoloft because she knew I did not want anything heavy or habit forming. I never did go over the 75mg mark a day. Eventually after maybe 5 months I reduced the amount and weaned off it. It worked for me, but it also made me gain weight in an unnatural fashion.