Nothing helps! Getting longer, more intense and frequent!

I'm suffering with anxiety and sleeplessness half of every week and sleeping all day every day with depression the rest of the week.

It's resulted in a series of excessive and embarrassing self-soothing behaviors that I can stop.

I no longer can stop humming, rocking, clenching hands and teeth, gripping my hipbone till I now have a raw place where my thumb digs in, sighing, moaning, exaggerated "deep relaxation" breathing exercise that are loud, inconvenient and humiliating.

Yoga and meditation are known to worsen my anxiety and cause panic attacks and bring no relief.

Years and years of therapists have brought no relief and only made things more anxious after my appointments.

After months and months with an EMDR therapist we couldn't get the root trauma with which to ever start the actual desensitization exercises.

CBT was ineffective because I can't even reach a conscious awareness of the negative thoughts.

Emotional Freedom Tapping provided no relief.

Self hypnosis has long become ineffective (I still keep going back to it, but noting).

We ran through all the medications that I can take due to my really low blood pressure; some caused my anxiety symptoms to worsen to the point that I couldn't think or converse, to levels of anxiety I never knew were possible and non-functioning.

Today I feel angry, hopeless, frustrated and desperate to find a way to stop the embarrassing uncontrollable "soothing behaviors" that spike the anxiety episodes they were originally intended to calm.

Even long power walks are in effective. During such physical activities my posture still contorts, my hand still uncontrollably death grips my hip, clenching jaw and I still hopelessly hum and breath in the deep rhythms that I learned for relief but now are involuntary and annoying. Every one of these behaviors becomes physically PAINFUL and causes it's own harm.

The last therapist didn't even know what to do with me and never even got to a root or an idea of what treatment to approach after 4 months of weekly visits, a previous one never did in TWO YEARS of weekly sessions.

I'm at my wit's end once again, only things are no longer having down time between the cycle of anxiety and the emotional exhaustion triggered depression.

What can I do to at least stop all of the exhausting, embarrassing, uncontrollable "soothing behaviors" that are increasing my distress?

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  • I have no idea how to help you :( I'm struggling today as well. Just know you are not alone in feeling this. Maybe a warm shower or bath might help you to not think about things. Currently I'm in my bed trying to not have a panic attack. Things my therapist told me to do sometimes makes my anxiety worse, especially breathing exercises. I stopped doing them. Today I'm letting anxiety win.

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