Tired of fear ruling my life and shrinking... - Anxiety Support

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Tired of fear ruling my life and shrinking it.

This season of anxiety has been the absolute worst struggle I've had with anxiety ever. And it scares me honestly. It's health anxiety but it has taken over so many things in my life. Even to how I think of things. I can't go to certain places I once were able to...I struggle going to nearby towns...I can't go too far from home at all. I was once a world traveler & now this? I can't keep a job because I can't drive by myself there or even stay home alone at that. I tried medicine again but it gave me such bad reactions that it actually worsened this condition. I'm under slot of stress & I think there have been many factors this year to contribute to this. The worst new symptom of all when I get emotionally bothered, my throat closes & gives the sensation of not being able to breathe & that terrifies me. Or I can cry at the drop of a hat & I've NEVER been like that before! I'm consumed daily with fears of health stuff & fears of going crazy--it doesn't help to hear some people close to you say you're crazy behind your back or to your face. I do have 2 friends who KNOW I'm not crazy & they start to encourage me, I start to get confidence back but my husband or someone will trigger the anxiety response by making me feel hopeless or discouraged & it's like it's automatic. I just want my life back! I'm realizing that there is no magic pill. I've been praying so much! I miss being able to just wake up, not have a negative thought, get in the car & go to the next city about 30 min away, not think anything to that & shop or work or anything. I miss my adventurous self when I wasn't too afraid to do so! I know there is hope for recovering from this negative mindset. It's does make it harder when you can tell people are talking. Having the issue is embarrassing enough lol. I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening to my rant you guys!

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Wow I feel like I could have written this post myself. When you say you know why are you saying you had triggering events that led to this? I had some major trauma and what you are describing I have experienced since that trauma. Anxiety is my biggest symptom. I have red every book and tried many modalities. I think the one that I find the most true for me is that basically when there is a lot of life stress your nervous system become very sensitive. So your body starts to exhibit these uncomfortable and scary stress responses. So it's stress 1st then your body sending a message with the physical response 2nd! Well where I go wrong is I had a 3rd component of bewilderment about what is happening with my body and then it turns into a 4th full blown fear. Then as my body tenses and my mind races I know the loop starts and the symptoms get worse and worse. Negative thoughts can cause adrenaline in your body. So if you get stuck in this loop you just become more sensitive and exhausted. "Nervously ill." I have read that the most important thing to do is not add bewilderment and fear to stress and symptoms. But it's so hard because it feels like a real threat in your body and terror at times in your mind. But the reality is adrenaline will not hurt you. So you are safe. AND adrenaline is time sensitive. It will run it's course and your body will slow down. But until when? Until you think about it again and wonder if you are going to panic again or if you will be able to drive over a bridge or speak in public. As soon as you start with those thoughts the window of relaxation is closed and the entire loop starts again. Even though I understand this I am currently still stuck in the loop. I have a lot of physical symptoms, negative thoughts, and fear. I recently started trying to just move with the feelings again. Saying to myself so what if I'm anxious. It' can't hurt me. I have things to do. But still I'm drained and exhausted. I think excepting the physical sensations is the most difficult thing for me to try to do. But know that when I do it passes much more quickly. I hope this helps you. Best of luck.

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Also I wanted to say I had a bad side effect to medication as well an was worse after I tried it. That is so terrible I'm sorry you went through that as well.

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Thank you for your kind reply! :) Yes, I had some experiences that led to this type of reaction. It's all about the health field...like, I need to have a few cavities filled at the dentist & I don't fear the drilling & such...I fear the numbing shot because I fear a reaction to it. I've had some bad experiences that have triggered that. Just starting a new job this week, I am scared of being away from my safe zone & safe person (husband) since it has been a year that I've been able to find work. I fear the overwhelming fear response & the physical symptoms that may come when I face the fear now. It is all a learned response. But, it will get better! For all of us! I guess sometimes for you to get better, you have to go through it, regardless how uncomfortable it is. :/

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I'm so sorry you guys feel like this but I'm glad I'm not alone it is just terrible!! Yes past experiences are hard to ignore but i do my best. I'll tell you though i just had a full anxiety attack and i finally gave in to try something recommended to me it freaking works I'm intrigued!! Bach rescue sleep liquid melts buy some!!! I just put one on my tongue and it calms you down and takes away the repetitive thoughts. Tell me please if it worked for you!!!#

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Oh Misty

Sorry you are struggling bad.

It's taking over really bad isn't it?

Besides trying the meds have you tried a therapist?

I'm going through the same I'll be seeing my therapist this Saturday hopefully I'll start getting better.

My estranged brother recently started talking to me again and he said he wanted to reach out and tell me that he had gone through anxiety awhile back and what helped him was a change in diet(vegetarian and cut out sodas) and exercise, and to over come it by mind over matter thing. I'll be trying it out see if it helps some.

It's hard going from being adventurous to absolutely nothing, do you find yourself daydreaming of what you could be doing? At times I think those thoughts can make you even more depressed :(

Try taking it minute by minute when you do go out. Only so you don't get overwhelmed (??)

I'll keep you in my prayers. And think of the warmth God brings you when you pray

xx

Yaz

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Let's keep eachother updated on how things are coming along we can do this!!! I want my sleep back and get back in the gym!!! Let's fight to feel normal again!!!

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Amen!!

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Thank you so much, Yaz! I've been terrified of meds. The last few times I've tried them, I've had negative experiences from them. But I do take an Ativan as needed if it's really bad. It doesn't do much though. I think it is more mind over matter than anything else. My doctor told me that. That's how I overcame this before was by gaining self confidence again in all areas of my life. I had to learn how to rely on God again. And that gave me the confidence. I don't know how I managed to take my eyes off of the Lord again but I did somewhere & lost my self esteem--I suppose i became more focused on the negative things in life. Reminds me of the scripture where Peter & his disciples were in the boat in the storm & they saw Jesus. Peter began to walk to Jesus on top of the water but was only able to as he kept His eyes on the Lord. But when he started to look at the storm & the overwhelming waves around him, he began to sink & to cry out to the Lord. Jesus pulled him up & asked him why he looked away & had so little faith. While he was looking Jesus in the eyes, he was able to conquer the storm & walk over the waves but the moment he took his eyes off of him, fear took over. Thank you for praying for me! And I will keep thinking of God's warmth and peace. That used to always be my focus! These last few months, it has shamefully been fear & negativity.

I hope you are doing better yourself. That's a wonderful thing that your brother has reached out to you & has endured similar struggles. It does seem more prevalent these days. :/ xx

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It's difficult when folks around you don't understand - we who suffer anxiety find it difficult, too, when all these symptoms are thrown at us daily. Not easy to accept but as other replies say, the more we focus on physical symptoms the more they present themselves. Their are times we may be diverted by an activity or task and feel for fleeting moments the 'normality' we once enjoyed. Carrying on, despite the reponses of our overly sensitive nervous system, I feel is the way forward. Don't mind what others think. Tell them to Google anxiety and they'll soon find out you're not alone in experiencing this life-changing condition that robs you of the pleasures, you once enjoyed - and will again! Be kind to yourself. x

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Thank you for your kind words and encouragement as well!! It means so much to me! xx

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You have had a busy life travelling and your interests are quite extensive.

One thing gets to me why have you suddenly suffer from this condition. If not already why have you not seen your GP. This condition can be treated with one to one treatment and certain medications.

When it is starting to effect your every day life and work you need to discuss all with the GP who may be able to assist to get your Life back in order.

Fifteen years ago we used to travel and was put off at that time when we had to be repatriated home from Yemen. It was a frightening experience and that was when we got our first dog, an excuse to stay in the UK.

Did something happen when you were out in the world ?? There must be some reason why you feel the way you do.??

Keep a hold

BOB

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I had struggled with this before & it came from some scary experiences. I have been to my doctor & a few others, and since I didn't respond very well to the medications, my family doctor told me that there isn't a magic pill but that this is more mind over matter than anything. I've grown up around health field stuff & it is all I've heard most my life...about diseases and such. I've heard the bad medical stories, etc. That combined with my own scary experiences, me losing my job last, getting rejected by family I've tried to please all my life, I have had too much time to think this year & it has manifested into this bad bad habit of thinking. I start a new job tomorrow that I'm scared about but I KNOW it will be what I need to get back on my feet. I'm the type person that apparently never needs to retire hahaha.

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We all need to just live our lives by the day, My life was effected by bad family experiences and now I live in an area where they do not know me and that is just fine. We have a new life and that is all that matters, Our old life has died and we feel re-born. Look towards radical ideas to give yourself hope and work out what you really want to do. Dream and facilitate your life changes

Hope all goes well with your new job

Good Luck

BOB

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Thank you, BOB. That's so true. I guess sometimes we just have to let go of the old and move on with the new. And that's okay. I used to always dream and the last months, had stopped. But I need to pick that back up again. Thank you so much! :)

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You have had a busy life travelling and your interests are quite extensive.

One thing gets to me why have you suddenly suffer from this condition. If not already why have you not seen your GP. This condition can be treated with one to one treatment and certain medications.

When it is starting to effect your every day life and work you need to discuss all with the GP who may be able to assist to get your Life back in order.

Fifteen years ago we used to travel and was put off at that time when we had to be repatriated home from Yemen. It was a frightening experience and that was when we got our first dog, an excuse to stay in the UK.

Did something happen when you were out in the world ?? There must be some reason why you feel the way you do.??

Keep a hold

BOB

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This is what I do constantly daily even when I'm fine im thinking wer are the pains and symptoms and u always think this can't b anxiety I am seriously ill I can shakes and vibrates and really bad tremors and trembles and also strong heart beat it scares me I'm only 22 and always been active and played rugby since I was 5 now I can't even force myself to go and train or play because I'm scared n when I do sometimes I'm thinking about my heart unless im having a good day ,,hope your doing well.

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I'm right there with you this sucks bad stress levels get so high!! Well i literally just had an anxiety attack and i took 1 bach rescue sleep liquid melts it freaking works I'm intrigued instant change helps even with that worrying repetive thoughts etc.. God bless you and everyone we can all get through this POSITIVE THINKING POSITIVE THINKING

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I'm not too much older than you. My advice? Conquer the negative thoughts now before they keep taking more root...reason being, they are easier to conquer the earlier you conquer them. How do you conquer them early? By going against them. Keep doing things anyway--regardless of the fears. If it is too much too soon, take it in baby steps. But please conquer the negative thoughts and end them before they shrink your world. You are healthy and well and young. We can't always control what falls into our heads but we can choose whether we believe those thoughts. They are lies 99% of the time!

Thank you, I hope you're doing well too. :)

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Hugs to you Misty x

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Thank you, Eunice. Hugs to you as well. :) xx

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Hi, my name is Lisa. I feel so helpless and alone. I can't even get to a doctor I need to see. I'm in therapy and feel I have tried everything. Can someone please reach out. Thank you

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Hi Lisa. :) I promise that you're not alone! And definitely not helpless. Feel free to write me anytime. It DOES get better. :)

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hello this is quite an old post but i have to say i felt like we had similar situations especially on the travelling part!!!ive been struggling for 5 years and i am extremely ashamed that i haven't been able to get through it yet.my life has been completely stuck since ive seen two different therapists and deep down ive kind of given up.

just wanted to share that

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Hello38, Going back over your several posts, I'm sorry no one got back to you some months ago. I hope that didn't feed into you giving up on ever getting better. Having seen 2 different therapists for a while that didn't help doesn't mean you are unfixable. It means one of two things, either you weren't ready to really listen to what they were saying or talking therapy is not what you need. There are so many ways to approach the fear of anxiety. Usually anxiety is caused by something that affected us in our life and until that is addressed, the fear lies on the surface. Sweeping it under the carpet won't do. Actually CBT didn't work for me because I couldn't handle the stress of being pushed into doing something I wasn't ready for. I don't know if you were on meds while doing therapy. They go hand in hand in being able to relax enough to handle therapy. Look around and see if there isn't something else that may help you. (hypnotherapy possibly) There are so many techniques/tools you can refer to. The thing is right now is that you have to get "unstuck". If not, time goes by and it only gets easier for you to stay that way. Taking that first step out of your safety zone will be a start. Small steps at first that will turn into larger steps. Don't wait until forced to have to do it. The strength and courage are in every one of us. Use the forum as a part of therapy in taking the good points that we make and excluding the negative ones. Never give up, always go forward in life so you will have no regrets. We are here, you are never alone.

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