Two big events are coming up!

[olivia_714]

So I'm approaching two big gigantic sources of anxiety, leaving to a boarding school over two thousand miles from my home, and my birthday party. The first event I mentioned is something I'm okay feeling anxious about since anyone would however how obsessive I'm feeling about my birthday party is really annoying. I just can't stop thinking that no one will come and this party is only a week from when I leave so it's about my only chance to touch base with friends before I leave. I just have this intense fear that when I get back everyone who was my friend will have lost our friendship. Then I'm worried about playing hostess since I only have three friends and only two of them know each other. There are countless other things I'm worrying about on that front. Going away strangely doesn't feel as daunting to me in the face of this party. On top of this since I already have a high base level anxiety due to these events my mind has been playing past anxiety attacks and high anxiety situations over in my head. Then I've been dealing with my chest pains again which I know aren't life threatening since I went to a doctor for it but they get worse when my anxiety get worse so having chest pain on top of my usual symptoms is just not making matters any easier. I just can feel a break down coming and I really just don't want that. Oh and rocky family relationships are making me feel quite bad. I want to say something but I can't help thinking that I'll be dismissed since I've already expressed worry about leaving and worrying this much about a birthday party sounds ridiculous.