Mother looking for guidance for 12 year old dressed daughter!?

[3shes2hes]

Well I found this group while trying yo find answers for what my 12 yr old daughter is experiencing. Earlier. This year she came to me describing to me as something that was either a panic attack or asthma attack. She had scribed a few instances also of becoming I'll feeling and dizzy. And well as badly as I do feel I just got busy in our lives. Her grades are awesome. (She will be in 8th grade this year but actually a year younger than all of her friends.) In elementary school she would do her homework but not turn it in but now in Jr high her councelor has tokd me that she has tested at a 11th grade level. She's not really active in sorts but she's one of those kids that exceed in any thing they do naturally. And she has alot of friends. So having her confide to me that she's so depressed and doesn't has a clue as to why, really throws me for a loop. She says she would rather sit in her dark room and cry. She says she just can't get happy and she can no longer hide these feelings. My problem is that its 11pm on a friday night. Who do I, should I call? I am lost with this but I honestly did not see this. She really showed no signs and I honestly just thought maybe it was because of her menstal cycle or lack of. Any suggestions?? I am not even sure how much of urgency I show use?

[3shes2hes]

Please tried to "read between the lines" when it comes to my typing.

[Ashley1489]

Maybe it is hormones I remember when I was 15 or 16 I felt like her but I was under stress too... Maybe she is very stressed and doesn't realize it... I had Dr and Do when I was super young and didn't now what it was I looked at my mom and said I feel like I'm not here soon after it went away I was 10 I believe. Tell her if she feels like crying to cry it helps release stress hormones

[kay92]

Ask her if she would be willing to see a counselor. It would be helpful if you can also see this counselor (separately from her of course) so that you can be better educated on how to help your daughter at home. I know this can be expensive, so if needs be maybe she could talk to the school counselor instead.

Being 12 years old is a crazy emotional weird time in life...she may just need someone to talk to, of course that person could also be you. She sounds ambitious and very intelligent, so I'm sure she is capable of processing through this and setting goals to help get out of this, but she will need support and guidance in order to do so. I always strongly encourage counseling or outside help, because if it really is more serious than "teenage mood swings", the sooner she can have help the better.

One other thought, maybe talk to her about getting into a new hobby or sport if she is willing ? Staying active and busy will help.

[3shes2hes in reply to kay92]

Ya no, part of me thinks that she is experiencing now all off those "mood swings". And that unlike me, she just might be the " dramatic " and dreaded drama queen. But she has never been a child that would be emotional. Like she just really didn't cry alot. And if she did cry may god have mercy on the person who made her cry. (Usually her younger brother). But what is so weird and almost hard to believe is that she can give me every word for word of her symptoms of a person with bipolar with depression. (So I think to my self...has she been reading up?). But the unexplainable part is that all year she has been telling me these symptoms at random times and in a "as a matter of fact" type of conversation. Way before any of her depressed issues even surfaced. But I do have a question of is this type of mind frame heredity? I ask because my grandmother and 2 uncles has committed suicide and they were my paternal grandmother and 2 of her 4 sons.

[Hidden]

One of my children was diagnosed with anxiety from a young age. I go through it myself (with depression) so I could see the signs worsen with age. I took my child to therapy for just over a year and made the hard decision of letting the psychiatrist prescribe medication. It was hard but the best thing I did. Medication was stopped after a year and the therapy taught my child coping mechanisms. I didn't want them going through what I do. My child was ten at the time. Now in late teens and hasn't had any problems again. In fact went from never wanting to leave the house to living a healthy and very social life. It was the hardest but best decision I've made. I was also very open with my own issues to make sure they didn't feel alone. Nothing worse then watching your child suffer. Hope you can find the help she needs.

[cazlooks]

hi you find this a lot in gifted kids, they feel 'different' because they are, and their brains work too hard so they are extra sensitive. Firstly find a good counsellor she needs someone to talk to who is not you or friends or family - someone totally outside her world. Secondly join Potential Plus UK where you will find lots of kids like this.

[3shes2hes]

Thank you all for your relies. And I now have questions that I wrote down for the doctor and some of these we read and talked to together. I'm just trying to figure it out. I'm pretty sure I missed this book in the library when I was growing up and trying to become a good mom because even thought I'm a girl I never ran across any books on how to cope and deal with having a daughter with depression. There was a book on how to handle them sneaking out in theiddle of the night bit nothing on mental illness awareness. and as scary as this road that we are now is felling I'm glad that I got such good advice from from you all. This web site is awesome. Boy I am dreading my son going thru puberty now!! But thanks again!!