Anxious about going on holiday

[Billiejean01]

Hello everyone, I have suffered with anxiety for a long time now and have been on medication for the past 4 years. I dislike change and leaving my comfort zone of my house and having my family close by.

Me and my partner are having a baby after years of trying and heartache so to celebrate my partner booked a two week holiday which he has been wanting to do since we first met 8 years ago. The thing is I'm terrified of flying and even though the flight is only short the thought of it fills me with dread. I'm really nervous about going away and leaving our house and pets (dog and tortoise) and especially for two weeks. My partner doesn't understand my anxiety about this, he is so excited and can't see why anyone wouldn't want to go. I'm hoping I'll be ok once we are there and hopefully be able to enjoy it - I really want to but just can't shake this feeling. I think being pregnant is making me worry extra for the baby also although the midwife has said it will do us good and to make the most of if as now is the best time to go.

Sorry for the long post, I'm just so scared and my partner is out tonight so I'm driving myself mad! We fly out on Monday. Thanks.

[Mrsamsouth]

You will be fine! We all have things that make us anxious and nervous but as soon as you're there you will be fine and be happy you did it, enjoy the break while you still can

[Jeff1943]

Billiejean01, flying is no problem, going away on holiday is enjoyable, it's only the anxiety that is trying to spoil things for you. For whatever reason your nervous system has been over sensitised, as a result you see danger and problems where they do not exist and this has grounded you in what you describe as your comfort zone.

As I've said to others here, there is a saying that is good advice to people in your position: Do what you fear and the death of fear is assured!

So I suggest that you use the bravery and courage that we are all born with to go to the airport, endure the wait and let yourself be taken away to more pleasurable places than your 'comfort zone'. And do you know what,Billiejean01, you may feel a little apprehensive to begin with but I promise you it won't be anything like as stressful as your imagination has led you to believe. And when you're there and have established a temporary comfort zone where you're staying you will enjoy exploring everything your destination has to offer, after all you have your partnet by your side to provise assistance should you need it which is highly unlikely.

At the end of your holiday you will marvel at what you have been able to achieve and how devoid of traumas the holiday was. And you can count it as something of a success that will inspire you to go for further successes and perhaps be a first step towards your recovery from the restraints of anxiety.

[menagerie11 in reply to Jeff1943]

I love the statement - do what you fear and the death of fear is assured! Thank you for that! Sometimes it takes more than one or two tries, but the more we do what we are afraid of doing, the less frightening it becomes. One option to desensitize to any fear is to face it in steps. Go to the airport and sit inside a few times watching the planes coming and going. Walk around the airport. Talk to the pilots and others about flying. Maybe they will take you on a tour of a plane. Sit in the plane before the flight.

[Jeff1943 in reply to menagerie11]

Menagerie11, that saying comes from the American philosopher Norman Vincent Peale who wrote 'The power of positive thinking' years ago. His other one I remember is: Every adversity hrings with it the seedvof a greater benefit. Good stuff andctrue if you reflect on it,

[Anxietyfree]

Have you tried hypnotherapy? ithink it could be beneficial in reframing your predictions of anxiety etc x

[Billiejean01 in reply to Anxietyfree]

No not hypnotherapy but I have seen a therapist in CBT which helped a lot, although things have slipped backwards a little since then.

[jessiejakes]

Hi jeff1943 how right you are ! Thinking about what might happen .I used to worry about going on holiday weeks or sometimes months before going.but not now I always feel fine while I'm away a change of scenery does you the world of good and the sunshine and sea are a real pick me up for the mind and body.how did I do it ? I said to myself I'm not going to let this anxiety spoil my life there is a life out there to live !!! So go live it even if anxiety sweeps over you now and then just let it and don't let it spoil your life just learn to carry on.

[Billiejean01]

Thank you so much for your replies, I know you are all right and I'm sure I will enjoy it as soon as I'm there, it's just apprehension and I guess fear of being somewhere new. I know I need to conquer this as I don't want it to impact on our child or limit me in anyway which I have let it do for quite sometime now. I did fly for the first time two years ago, I have flown before but I was much younger which was a huge achievement for me.

I do want to beat this and see more places, I just wish I had a more positive outlook and focused on the good things not the negative.

I will enjoy this holiday like most ordinary people. I do have some rescue remedy to take before I board, hoping this will help with the actual flight.

Thanks again for your help 😊

[Anxietyfree]

Wr never worry about the now its always what has happened or what might. What has happened we cant change and what might happen has so many variables its a waste of time trying to predict it. Try to focus on this moment and how you can be ok now. I recently went abroad for the first time in ten years. I organised everything and paid for myself and my daughter to go. I had two moments where old habits swept over me but i remembered my skills my choices and just how much I wanted to be an adventurer and not a worrier. Dare to believe you will be ok and remember the fun,the excitment and all the wonderful new positive experiences you can have. Afterall exvitmant and anxiety provoke the same physical reaction,its the emotions that ate different xx