So many questions.

[Ashlyxo]

So I am fairly new and I have been hesitant on posting but I have a lot of questions. I feel like I am losing my mind. Back in March I had a serious panic attack and ever since that one, they had been more and more frequent. My doctor put my on Lamictal, which I had been on and off for 4 years (for my racing thoughts). And xanax as needed. So the xanax basically turned into an every morning thing for me. And sometimes in the evening. She just started me on Adderall to see if my racing thought and jitteryness will stop. I have started CBT, journaling, meditating and everything else anyone suggests to calm me down. I am afraid of everything. Literally everything. I have come so far, don't get as many panic attacks but still very anxious, sometimes for no reason. Sometimes I feel the physical symptoms (stomach flips, sweating, etc) without any anxiety thoughts, which causes my mind to go crazy. I can't even enjoy anything anymore. I spend my days anticipating anxiety, waiting for the next panic attack.

So here are my questions. I am getting really forgetful. I space out and forget what I am talking about. I have a hard time getting my words out. My therapist basically said it is from an overload. Like my brain can only hold so much and my anxiety is filling it up so I can't process anything else. I am wondering if anyone experienced this with xanax? And will it go away or get better??

Also I have a song or jingle playing in my head 24/7. I wakr up with a song in my head and it switches when I hear a different one or a different tune. I could be having a full blown conversation with someone but in my head I am still listening to this song. It makes me crazy!! Anyone else experience this?

My last concern for now is that I am petrified of psychosis. I am so scared I will lose my mind and end up in a hospital. Sometimes I second guess my thoughts and actions and look twice to make sure something was really there. When I close my eyes, sometimes a bunch of random voices and pictures flash.. Whenever I get anxious, this is my worst fear. What happens if I black out? Am I at risk of psychosis? Is there any way to prevent it?

I'm sorry for the long rant..

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

[maryhig]

Hello, first I do not think you have psychosis and neither do the professionals otherwise they would have treated you more seriously now.

All the symptoms you describe above I have also had at different points in my anxiety. They are anxiety symptoms. Extreme ones and scary ones but ONLY anxiety.

Your brain and you are really stressed out and you are in a bad cycle of subconscious thoughts which are controlling you. I am currently that same.

There is no magic cure but it will not be like this forever. It could be worth changing your anxiety medication or maybe just giving it longer to get in your system. CBT will help too but both of these things will take time.

Just as you get used to one symptom it changes into another but that is what anxiety is. It is fear tricking our mind.

You are OK, you are not alone. You will be ok xxx

[Ashlyxo in reply to maryhig]

Thank you so much! It is really hard to reassure myself that I will be ok. .

[KatGow]

nopanic.org.uk/neurosis-or-...

I like you have many of the same fears and symptoms.

I recently found this artic and found it to very reassuring.

K

[Ashlyxo in reply to KatGow]

Thanks I look forward to reading it.

[KatGow in reply to Ashlyxo]

Any time